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I grab Mac. Freeze-frame. Heart in my throat! Shadow-thing blocks my path! What is it?
I drag my feet on the way to her cell, which, for me, means walking like a Joe. I
Eight men fan in V formation behind him, packing weapons from head to toe, draped in ammo, toting what look like Uzis.
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Couple of ‘em seem more animal than human. One of ‘em looks like Death himself, with white hair,
The creature that holds me now will do more than end my pain. It will fill all that is empty. It is an animal, too.
“No, Mac,” he says.
“There’s more to life than lust, Mac,”
“I do not need to try. I will never feel differently.” “Ah, Mac,” he says, and his laughter is as dark and cold as the place of which I dream, “one day you will wonder if it’s possible to hate me more.”
“You must care, Mac.”
“Mac is your name. You are MacKayla Lane. Mac for short. It is who you are. You are a sidhe-seer. It is what you are. You were raised by Jack and Rainey Lane. They are your parents and love you. They need you very much. Alina was your sister. She was murdered.” “Stop talking!
“I was not always, Mac. There was a time when you didn’t even like me. You have never trusted me.”
I wait for his answer and am struck by a violent sense of déjà vu—that I have waited for many answers from my beast, and have gotten few, if any.
You give up and die, or learn how to take back. Revenge, Mac.”
“It’s a tree, Mac. You and Alina put one up every year. I couldn’t get a live one.
“What did you just say, Mac? When did I tell you that? Tell me about it!”
“Pink cakes, Mac. Tell me about pink cakes.”
‘Petunia’ is the word you say instead of saying ‘ass,’ Mac.”
“Because if you don’t find something to fill that hole, Mac, someone else will.
“What am I, Mac?”
“What did you wear to your senior prom, Mac?”
place of books and lights that falls to the enemy. It mattered to me, that place. I’d lost so much, but at least I had that place.
“Church, Mac. Unseelie Princes. Remember?”
Remember V’lane? Was he there, Mac? Was he at the church? Was he?”
“You can do this, Mac. I’m here.
or evolve. It was too awful for me to contemplate. “Maybe the fourth was you, V’lane. How do I know it wasn’t?”
“Feck the Garda,” one of his men shouted. “We’re the Guardians! A new force for a new world!”
“You think you can steal from me? You’re out of control, Rainbow Girl.”
“Bloody hell, have you learned nothing?”
“Don’t lose yourself in anger, Mac. It’s gasoline. You can burn it as fuel, or you can use it to torch everything you care about and end up standing on a scorched battlefield, with everybody dead, even you—only your body doesn’t have the good grace to quit breathing.”
On the second, third, fourth, and fifth floors, bookcases line each wall from base to cove molding. Behind elegant banisters, catwalks permit access, while ladders slide on oiled rollers from one section to the next.