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My vagina wakes up from her six-month nap and screams at me that though this man looks like the emotionally unavailable type with major control issues, she would very much like to be wrecked by him.
I guess when you're relatively attractive and also say good morning to someone this can happen
If my vagina could detach from my body and fling itself right onto his face, it would.
An attractive stranger
Yes, the man is all sorts of hot, but I can already tell he’ll be getting on my last nerve regularly.
I'm grateful that her brain has overtaken her libido
His tone gently mocking, he says, “I’ve been obsessed with you for years. I’ve watched you from afar, planning, scheming, waiting for exactly the right moment to make you mine. Now all my planning has paid off, and the moment is here.” His mysterious smile grows wider. “Hello, little lamb. Welcome to the lion’s den.”
This makes sense and explains why a literal stranger has asked to marry you
“Did you hire an attorney?” “And pay him with what? Tears?”
“You’re getting married? To him?” “I haven’t decided yet. He is offering me ten million dollars, though. And you should see the ring! It’s bigger than my first car.”
This is such a romcom
In a hot, dark voice, he says, “Because my wife asked me to. And I’ll give her anything she wants.” I sit there breathing unevenly
“No. I don’t care what other women think of me. Because they’re not you.”
“How did you get here so fast?” “I was in the neighborhood.” I scoff. “For such a rich guy, you spend an awful lot of time cruising bad neighborhoods. Did your attorney and priest just happen to be in the neighborhood too?”
25% and Ive laughed at least 10% so far
“I’m not flustered. Or intimidated. And why are you such a close talker, billionaire? That’s far enough.”
“You never have to be afraid of anything again. If you have a problem, I’ll fix it. If you need something, I’ll give it to you. If anyone bothers you, I’ll make them wish they hadn’t. Whatever you want or need, you tell me, and you’ll have it. You’re mine now.”
“Give him a chance. I know he can be…difficult. But he’s an exceptional man. And having known him as long as I have, I can tell you with total confidence that he’d do anything to make you happy. It’s all he wants.”
sigh. Lowering his head, he whispers
“So here’s the thing. I enjoyed last night. A lot. Which you could probably tell by all the screaming. Anyway…”
His voice so faint, it’s almost inaudible, he says, “Wife. Please.”
He growls, “I promise to take care of you in every way for the rest of both our lives. Now give me fucking permission to touch you before I die of need, you stubborn fucking woman.”
Arlo returns with our drinks and a whiskey for Callum that he didn’t ask for but obviously needs.
“Callum. I’m serious. I don’t want fruit stored in my vadge. It’s not Tupperware.”
So many laugh out loud moments
“He said he saw his whole future the first time he looked into your eyes.”
“Sometimes love doesn’t make any sense. But it doesn’t have to. When you find someone who makes your soul sing, all that matters is joining in the song.”
“I know I’m damaged. But all my broken pieces belong to you.”
Callum's almost redeemed
