If Only I Had Told Her
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Read between June 4 - June 10, 2025
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“She loves me.”
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She’s in love with me, I swear.”
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Princess Autumn Fucking Davis.”
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I love Sylvie,
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“but not in love with her”
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situation. I am in love with Sylvie, but I cannot be with her anymore, and that hurts.
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Last night, when everything was different between Autumn and me.
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If only I’d told her that I loved her years ago, I wouldn’t be here now. Because she loved me. She loved me this whole time.
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“Every time you and Autumn went to Blockbuster this summer, I got at least two emails about it from people who saw you. You didn’t even try to hide it.”
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“Until recently, we were only friends,”
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But I have Dr. Giles for talking about my fear of disappointing authority figures.
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Not after the lies you’ve told me.”
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I lied to her years ago when I told her that I wasn’t in love with Autumn anymore, and I l...
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“But that doesn’t mean that you were faithful this summer,”
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we argue about the definition of cheating.
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From the phone call all those weeks ago when I told Sylvie, “I’m about to eat breakfast,” and didn’t disclose that it was with Autumn, I was betraying Sylvie.
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“Autumn and I parked near the airport and watched planes take off while she ate so much candy her teeth have turned green.”
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“I lied to you all summer. I’m sorry.”
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“Were you
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ever in love me?”
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“Were you ever in love with me?” Sylvie
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No more lies by omission.”
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“I am in love with you, Sylvie.”
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“I believe you,”
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“I can’t ask you to apologize for loving her more than me.”
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“I don’t love her more than you,”
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“It’s not about more.”
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“Our souls.”
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“Whatever our souls are made of, hers and mine are the same.”
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“Are you quoting Wuthering Heights to justify cheating on me?”
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“I’m quoting Wuthering Heights to explain why I’m choosing
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Autumn over you.”
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“I just want to get away from you!”
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This could be how I die.
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Suddenly, everything is still.
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I’m still...
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Get to Sylvie. Tell her to lie still. Make the call. Get Sylvie to the hospital. Go home to Autumn.
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I fall to my knees in front of Sylvie, putting my hand to the ground.
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It’s wet—
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“Phineas Smith is dead.”
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“Finn died last night, Jack.”
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He died. He’s fucking dead.”
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“Finn’s dead, Jack,”
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Sylvie has a concussion, but Finn died.”
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“Yeah. Finn’s gone.” Alexis is crying. She’s actually crying.
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This can’t be real. This really can’t be real.
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“How the fuck did Finn get electrocuted?”
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Finn is dead.
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This is death.
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“Finn’s dead,” I say aloud.
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