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by
Tony Robbins
he has not felt depressed one day since that time because he never uses that word to describe his experience.
the words we use as a corporate culture and as individuals have a profound effect on our experience of reality.
The words that we use carry meaning and emotion.
If you use phrases like “I’m suicidal,” you have instantly raised your emotional pain to a level that could actually threaten the quality of your life.
What would your life be like if you could take all the negative emotions you ever felt and lower their intensity so they didn’t impact you as powerfully, so you were always in charge? What would your life be like if you could take the most positive emotions and intensify them, thereby taking your life to a higher level? You can do both of these in a heartbeat. Here’s your first assignment.
Take a moment right now, and write down three words that you currently use on a regular basis to make yourself feel lousy (bored, frustrated, disappointed, angry, humiliated, hurt, sad, and so forth).
brainstorm some new words that you think you could use to either break your pattern or at least lower your emotional intensity in some way.
angry to disenchanted afraid to uncomfortable anxious to a little concerned anxious to expectant confused to curious depressed to calm before action depressed to not on top of it depressed to on the road to a turn-around destroyed to set back that stinks to that’s a little aromatic pissed off to tinkled disappointed to underwhelmed disappointed to delayed disgusted to surprised dread to challenge embarrassed to aware embarrassed to stimulated exhausted to recharging exhausted to a little droopy failure to stumble failure to learning failure to getting educated fear to wonderment fearful to
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come up with three words that you habitually use that create negative feelings in your life, and then write a list of alternatives
think of how ridiculous it is to work yourself into a frenzy when you have the choice of feeling good!
I found myself being frustrated a lot in my life, so I
the words we use produce powerful biochemical effects.
the moment a patient was diagnosed—i.e., had a label to attach to his symptoms—he became worse. Labels like “cancer,” “multiple sclerosis,” and “heart disease” tended to produce panic in the patients, leading to helplessness and depression that actually impaired the effectiveness of the body’s immune system.
instead of using the phrase, “I’m starving to death,” what if instead you said, “I feel a little hungry”?
When people are experiencing difficulties they frequently say things like “I feel like the weight of the world is on my back”
We must be very careful about the metaphors we allow ourselves to use.
what’s truly juvenile is allowing ourselves to unconsciously select metaphors that disempower us on a consistent basis.
anytime you use the words “I feel like” or “This is like,” the word “like” is often a trigger for the use of a metaphor. So ask yourself a more empowering question. Ask, “What would be a better metaphor? What would be a more empowering way of thinking of this? What else is this like?”
“Life is like a constant battle” or “Life is a war.” If you were to adopt this metaphor, you’d begin to adopt a series of beliefs that come with
A whole set of rules, ideas, and preconceived notions accompany any metaphor you adopt. So if you believe life is a war, how does that color your perceptions of life? You might say, “It’s tough, and it ends with death.” Or, “It’s going to be me against everybody else.”
Mother Teresa’s metaphor for life is that it’s sacred. What if you believed life is sacred?
What if you believe life is a gift? All of a sudden it becomes a surprise, something fun, something special.
changing one global metaphor can instantly transform the way you look at your entire life.
So try the following exercise: 1. What is life? Write down the metaphors you’ve
3. Pick another area of your life that impacts you most—whether it’s your business, your parents, your children, your ability to learn—and discover your metaphors
we assume that emotions arise in response to what others do or say to us.
four basic ways in which people deal with emotion. Which of these have you used today? 1. Avoidance. We all want to avoid painful emotions. As a result, most people try to avoid any situation that could lead to the emotions that they fear—or worse, some people try not to feel any emotions at all!
It literally becomes part of their identity, a way of being unique; they begin to pride themselves on being worse off than anyone else.
4. Learning and Using. If you want to make your life really work, you must make your emotions work for you.
You are the source of all your emotions; you are the one who creates them.
you can feel any way you choose at any moment in time.
You don’t need any special reason to feel good—you can just decide to feel good right now, simply because you’re alive, simply because you want to.
STEP ONE Identify What You’re Really Feeling
Just in taking a moment to identify what you’re really feeling, and beginning to question your emotions, you may be able to lower the emotional intensity you’re experiencing, and therefore deal with the situation much more quickly and easily.
STEP TWO Acknowledge and Appreciate Your Emotions, Knowing They Support You
STEP THREE Get Curious about the Message This Emotion Is Offering You
become curious about your emotions: What do I really want to feel? What would I have to believe in order to feel the way I’ve been feeling? What am I willing to do to create a solution and handle this right now? What can I learn from this?
STEP FOUR Get Confident
STEP FIVE Get Certain You Can Handle This Not Only Today, But in the Future
STEP SIX Get Excited, and Take Action
The message of being overwhelmed is that you need to reevaluate what’s most important to you in this situation. The reason you’re overloaded is that you’re trying to deal with too many things at once, and you’re trying to change everything overnight. The feeling of being overloaded or overwhelmed disrupts and destroys more people’s lives than just about any other emotion. The Solution: 1) Decide, out of all the things you’re dealing with in your life, what the absolute, most important thing is for you to focus on. 2) Now write down all the things that are most important for you to accomplish
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Cheerfulness has the power to eliminate the feelings of fear, hurt, anger, frustration, disappointment, depression, guilt, and in adequacy from your life. You’ve achieved cheerfulness the day you realize that no matter what’s happening around you, being anything other than cheerful will not make it better. Being cheerful does not mean that you’re Pollyanna or that you look at the world through rose-colored glasses and refuse to acknowledge challenges. Being cheerful means you’re incredibly intelligent because you know that if you live life in a state of pleasure—one that’s so intense that you
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Six to seven hours has been found to be optimum for most people.
Remember that your current conditions do not reflect your ultimate potential, but rather the size and quality of goals upon which you currently are focusing.
we purchased Namale,
There are countless stimuli bombarding you right now, but your brain deletes most of it and focuses on what you believe is important. Its mechanism for achieving this is the RAS. Thus your RAS is directly responsible for how much of reality you consciously experience.
I wrote down all my long-term goals for my spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, and financial destinies, and then created a series of milestones for each one, working backward.
Take two minutes to write a paragraph about why you are absolutely committed to achieving this goal within the year.
Now you should have four master one-year goals that absolutely excite and inspire you, with sound, compelling reasons behind them. How would you feel if in one year you had mastered and attained them all? How would you feel about yourself? How would you feel about your life? I can’t stress enough the importance of developing strong enough reasons to achieve these goals. Having a powerful enough why will provide you with the necessary how. Make sure that you look at these four goals daily. Put them where you’ll see them every day, either in your journal, on your desk at the office, or over your
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at least twice a day, you must rehearse and emotionally enjoy the experience of achieving each one of your most valued goals. Each time you do this, you need to create more emotional joy as you see, feel, and hear yourself living your dream.
