Naked

by David Sedaris

How easy it was for adults to bond over a second round of cocktails.

“Hey, sport,” my father said, “if you’re trying to get a good look at the contents of your skull, I can tell you right now that you’re wasting your time. There’s nothing there to look at, and these report cards prove it.”

It was difficult to imagine her raising a child of her own, and chilling to realize that she had.

Is it loyalty that keeps him from telling secrets about the dead, or is there simply nothing to report?

Whenever we passed the place, my sisters and I would stick our heads out the car window, expecting to hear a hysterical voice cackling, “I’m mad, I tell you, MAD!” The patient would embrace his lunacy as though it were a treasure he had discovered hidden beneath the floor-boards. “Mad! Do you hear me, I’m mad!”

Every gathering has its moment. As an adult, I distract myself by trying to identify it, dreading the inevitable down-swing that is sure to follow.