Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch, #2)

by Terry Pratchett

The Ramkins were more highly bred than a hilltop bakery, whereas Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving.

Sometimes it’s better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.

Dogs are not like cats, who amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw.

“Yes, sir. But what will he do next day? You can’t treat people like puppet dolls. No, sir. Mr. Vimes always said a man has got to know his limitations. If there was a king, then the best thing he could do would be to get on with a decent day’s work—” “Indeed.” “But if there was some pressing need . . . then perhaps he’d think again.” Carrot brightened up. “It’s a bit like being a guard, really. When you need us, you really need us. And when you don’t . . . well, best if we just walk around the streets and shout All’s Well. Providing all is well, of course.”

“Have you ever wondered where the word ‘politician’ comes from?” said the Patrician.