Thief of Time (Discworld, #26; Death, #5)

by Terry Pratchett

For something to exist, it has to be observed. For something to exist, it has to have a position in time and space. And this explains why nine-tenths of the mass of the universe is unaccounted for. Nine-tenths of the universe is the knowledge of the position and direction of everything in the other tenth.

Nine-tenths of the universe, in fact, is the paperwork.

Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.

We can’t keep thrashing him. He is a bad example to the other pupils. There’s no educating a smart boy.”

“Is it not written in the sacred text, ‘There’s a lot goes on we don’t know about, in my opinion’?” said Lu-Tze.

Some genetics are passed on via the soul.

“Master, what is the difference between a humanistic, monastic system of belief in which wisdom is sought by means of an apparently nonsensical system of questions and answers, and a lot of mystic gibberish made up on the spur of the moment?” Wen considered this for some time, and at last said: “A fish!”

Humans weren’t individuals, they were, each one, a committee!

The Auditors had tried to understand religion, because so much that made no sense whatsoever was done in its name. But it could also excuse practically any kind of eccentricity. Genocide, for example. By comparison, a lack of tea drinking was easy.