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January 9 - February 10, 2023
WITCHES ARE MATRILINEAL, said Death. THEY FIND IT MUCH EASIER TO CHANGE MEN THAN TO CHANGE NAMES.
To give him his due, he was quite disinterested in which kind of star he got. Quantity, that was what he liked. Miss Susan had privately marked him down as Boy Most Likely To Be Killed One Day By His Wife.
Ha
“Sort of . . .hand-me-downs, ahahaha,” said Jeremy. He wondered where his medicine was. “Very droll, thur,” said Igor.
Lu-Tze bent over and struck a match on his unprotesting chin. “What’s your name,
“No, you misunderstand me. You, that is Newgate Ludd, are being offered, that is by me, the opportunity of having a lifetime. Which is more than you will have shortly.”
must admit, I don’t like the way my life is going at the moment,” he said. “It may be advantageous to find a new direction.”
When you look into the abyss, it’s not supposed to wave back.
“Miss Smith thinks a good book is about a boy and his dog chasing a big red ball,” said Miss Susan. “My children have learned to expect a plot. No wonder they get impatient. We’re reading Grim Fairy Tales at the moment.” “That is rather rude of you, Susan.” “No, Madam. That is rather polite of me. It would have been rude of me to say that there is a circle of Hell reserved for teachers like Miss Smith.”
And then, when they’d confronted him, the brightest of them confronted themselves.
in their work, napkins tucked under their chin, in an atmosphere of happy carbohydrates.
He never laughed, and Igor liked a good maniacal laugh. You could trust it.
He was a people person. He preferred things that bled.
LeJean. She gave Igor the willies, and he was a man not usually subject to even the smallest willy.
“Yes, but I’ve had a lifetime of experience and cynicism!” Lu-Tze scooped the sand back into its bag. “You’re just gifted.
The leader, or at least the one who was shouting, and this is usually the leader,
“Master, what is the difference between a humanistic, monastic system of belief in which wisdom in sought by means of an apparently nonsensical system of questions and answers, and a lot of mystic gibberish made up on the spur of the moment?” Wen considered this for some time, and at last said: “A fish!”
The Code of the Igors was very strict. Never Contradict. It was no part of an Igor’s job to say things like “No, thur, that’th an artery.” The marthter was always right.
And Never, Ever Ask Questions. Admittedly, Igor knew, that meant never ask BIG questions. “Would thur like a cup of tea around now?” was fine, but “What do you need a hundred virginth for?” or “Where do you expect me to find a brain at thith time of night?” was not.
Humans weren’t individuals, they were, each one, a committee!
way. We believe the body imposes a method of thought on the brain. No blame attaches. It is a . . .malfunction. We will accompany you to the
“The one who wouldn’t win a beauty contest even if he was the only entrant is an Igor,” said Susan. “The
the ones hidden in plain view, which practically no one looks for. Who am I?” Lu-Tze
Eight hundred years had taught Lu-Tze that what happens, stays happened.
everything happens for a reason, except possibly football.
vain. Knowing how to use other people’s vanity was a martial art all in itself,
Decisions made by everyone were decisions made by no one, which therefore precluded any possibility of blame.
“It is rotted bovine lactation.”
no oil painting himself—especially when he’d been beheaded, after which no one looks at their best,
sometimes when the high and mighty make big plans they don’t always think about the fine detail, right?”
or Death “not someone you’d want to meet every day.” It was accurate, but it didn’t tell the whole story.
It existed, and therefore it had to be measured.
. .emotions bring you to life, which is a brief period just before you die. The gray shapes fled in front
IN ORDER TO HAVE A CHANGE OF FORTUNE AT THE LAST MINUTE YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR FORTUNE TO THE LAST MINUTE, said Death. WE MUST DO WHAT
“The sweeper said everyone has to find a teacher and then find their Way.”
.because in this world, after everyone panics, there’s always got to be someone to tip the wee out of the shoe.”
Sooner or later, everything causes everything else.”
“When the pupil can beat the master, there is nothing the master cannot tell him,”
“everyone peeking in here has seen me beat Time and that’s the sort of thing that’ll look really good on my résumé,
“But playing the game changes the rules.
“Nicely mythic, the whole thing, definitely one for the scrolls, but bordering on smug. Do not try it again.”
that. So easily does a thief of time repay his debts!”
She was mostly human and partly immortal. It was a difficult trick. It had to do with how you reacted to the universe and how the universe reacted to you.
she would be immortal for as long as she lived.
