Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha

by Tara Brach

Buddhist teacher Roshi Joan Halifax talks about the importance of having a “Strong Back and a Soft Front.” We need a Strong Back—clarity, boundaries, courage, empowerment and the willingness to protect ourselves and others from injury. We need the capacity to be fierce, to speak truth and fight injustice. And we need a Soft Front—acceptance, tenderness and caring that includes all beings, even when their behavior is hurtful. By developing this mix of strength and openness, our lives become an active expression of love.

Suffering or discontent is universal, and fully recognizing its existence is the first step on the path of awakening.

The renowned seventh-century Zen master Seng-tsan taught that true freedom is being “without anxiety about imperfection.” This means accepting our human existence and all of life as it is. Imperfection is not our personal problem—it is a natural part of existing. We all get caught in wants and fears, we all act unconsciously, we all get diseased and deteriorate. When we relax about imperfection, we no longer lose our life moments in the pursuit of being different and in the fear of what is wrong.

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.

We can’t honestly accept an experience unless we see clearly what we are accepting.

The very nature of our awareness is to know what is happening. The very nature of our heart is to care.

Radical Acceptance is not self-indulgence. It does not say, “I accept that I have this lust or craving, and therefore I’ll act on it.” While it’s important not to deny or suppress our desires, it’s also important to be aware of what motivates us and the effects of our behavior.

The boundary to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom.

There is only one world, the world pressing against you at this minute. There is only one minute in which you are alive, this minute here and now. The only way to live is by accepting each minute as an unrepeatable miracle.

Through the sacred art of pausing, we develop the capacity to stop hiding, to stop running away from our experience.