The tension and excitement of wanting arise, and we experience this as my longing for intimacy, my craving for touch and attention. In the same way, it’s my fear and shame when I am rejected. We consolidate our sense of a wanting self as we tell ourselves stories about what is happening: “Something is wrong with me for wanting so much. Why don’t I already have what I want? The world has it in for me, and I never get anything.”
