Hitched (Ride or Die Romances)

by Lauren Biel

My body tenses as he fucks me, and I realize it’s from my body wanting more. More of him. Not just his body, but his heart. “Do you have feelings for me, Lex?”

“What a time to ask me that,”

“If I said no, would you want me to stop...

“Bunny, you have all

that’s left of my heart. Anything I can feel is for you.”

“I don’t know if I know what love is, Selena, but I know this is the closest I’ve felt to another person.”

“I wanted you to leave because I needed to protect the one person who made me feel something other than numb or angry. The only person

capable of humanizing someone as bar...

“I don’t know what love is either, Lex. I never have. I just know it wasn’t what I had with my husband, and that’s why I didn’t want to leave you. Leaving meant losin...

There’s no way to explain to her what I felt. In that moment, I realized just how important she was to me. You’d think realizing that would have made me want to keep going. Fuck her better. But the foreign, uncomfortable feeling did the opposite. It made me close up. I knew what to do with her pussy but not her heart.

“I . . . I just . . . I don’t want you to be so okay with me leaving. You keep asking me to leave. Telling me to leave. You’re pushing me away!”

“You really think I fucking want you to leave?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“For once in my goddamn life I was being selfless and thinking about the wellbeing of someone else. I didn’t want you to leave. I needed you to leave because it was safer for you.”

“I’ve

never felt guilt. I was born like this. Something not quite right in the head. But I knew if you got in trouble for all this, or killed, I would never get past that.”

“Let me decide what I’m willi...

“I wanted to let you go so you’d be safe at home. I could imagine a life with you I could never have. I could think about how happy you made me when I’ve always thought I was incapable of such a normal emotion. The only thing that ever made me happier t...

people? I didn’t want him to hurt ...

“You wouldn’t h...

“I could. And I almost did, more times than you know. I’ve been willing to kill you s...

“I don’t believe th...

“I pushed you away so you could be with someone better. I wanted you to have better than the small life I could ever give

you. This? This rundown cabin? It’s what I can give you.”

“People describe love as not being able to be away from that person, that it’s such a horrible thing to be apart, but it didn’t feel like I loved you when I selfishly wanted to keep you for myself. I may not know what love feels like, but I knew enough to know that loving you meant letting you go.”

“Old me would have kept you, fucked you, and killed

you when I was done with you. New me, the one you drew out, wanted you to forget me and l...

“Even now, you want me ...

“Because you look so fucking unhappy,”

“I’m unhappy because you make me feel unwanted.”

“I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you in that car. I’ve ne...

“If I wasn’t in this situation, bunny, I would never let you go or push you away.”

“I’m a killer, too, Lex.”

“You wouldn’t be if it weren...

“This isn’t just your situation anymore. It’s ours. Stop thinking of me as the girl you dragged to hell and realize th...

“Fuck, b...

“If you want this, I’ll give you everything I can in this lit...

“Don’t look at me like that, rabbit. I told you I’m going to eat my dinner with my fingers covered in your come.”

“Mind your eyes, little rabbit. I’d hate to see someone killed because you couldn’t,” I snarl. “Eyes on me, always.” “My eyes are only for you, Lexington,” she says with a pout.

“I’ve wanted you since I saw you bent over in front of that clerk. I love how he wanted you.”

“This is who I am, Selena. Unpredictable. Dangerous. If I was a fucking dog, they’d put me to sleep. The courts would have loved to give me that sentence, but I lived in a state that didn’t believe in capital punishment, even though I deserved that. I still deserve that.” My darkened eyes bore into hers. “What I don’t deserve is you.”

“But you can’t help being who you are just as much as I can’t help being who I am. I’m a person capable of punishing someone for even thinking about what’s mine.”

“I’m going to go take care of this. I expect you to be gone when I get back.” “Wh-what?”

“I can’t create a life that is safe enough for you. It’s not possible. We can’t play house anymore, Selena. You have to leave.” “Lex—” “Now!”

“If you’re not gone by the time I get back, you won’t like how I get rid of you.”

Do I want Selena to leave? Absolutely not. Do I think she should? Yes. I used to think she wasn’t safe from everyone else, the other people who are poised to hurt a woman like her, but those aren’t the people who’ve hurt her. It’s been me. Time and time again.

The pain in my relief comes from how fucking lost I am without her. She’s been all I’ve known since I escaped prison. I felt things for the first time in a very long time, maybe even my entire life. I had happiness with her. But I’m not allowed to stay happy. I don’t deserve it.

“I’m fucking sick of how you treat me,” she snarls.

This is not how normal couples have this argument. But we aren’t normal. “You aren’t going to shoot me, rabbit.”

“I’m sick of you telling me to leave! I’m tired of worrying about the next thing that happens that makes you push me away!”