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“I can’t let this hinder me forever. I can’t let him hinder me forever. Then, he wins… again,” I whispered through deep, heavy breathing.
“For so long, my past has controlled my world. I’m tired, Kamber. I just want to feel normal… even if just for one night.”
He touched my soul, serenaded my body, and sewed the fragments of my heart together.
My ideal love centered around devotion, protection, romance, patience, kindness, respect, and a bunch of filthy ass sex.
This time, though, shit wasn’t like that. I hadn’t gotten to know Halo, but instead of running from her, I wanted to run toward her.
Her fragility contributes to her beauty.
“As your number one fan, I’ll do all that I can to show you how super you are.”
My soul stirred. For the first time in my life, it was wrapped in the warmth and fragility of another being. Without a doubt, at that moment, I knew that I’d love this woman for a lifetime. And, slowly but surely, that lifetime was beginning. Patience.
“When you give me the chance, I’m going to love you down pretty lady, until your heart can’t take anymore.”
My hand continued to caress her skin, assuring her that everything was okay. As long as I was by her side, there wasn’t anything she had to worry about.
“When you want some dick, pretty lady, open your mouth and use your words.”
It was necessary for me to protect her heart and her body from all hurt, harm, and danger. That included her pussy. My pussy.
“You don’t have to be scared. You shouldn’t be scared. The unknown is a scary place, but it’s not that bad. It’s better to embrace it than to run from it and that’s what you’ve been doing. You have to face it head on and I swear to you shit will be better. You’ve been here and alone for so long that fear is your comfort zone. We’re going to work on getting you out of there and out of here.”
It was becoming very obvious that she welcomed feminine energy and company. It was masculinity that scared her shitless.
“Me waiting for the opportunity to be a part of something bigger than myself. A circle. Friends with women who can relate to me a little. I always felt like people were overwhelming and I still do, but I crave community sometimes. It would make me feel less like an alien and more like a person.”
Don’t ever think that you don’t have a place here. You do. From the looks of it, it’s in my heart. But, that’s just a start, Halo. you can be as meaningful and as impactful as you want to be.”
All you see is a mess. I see a gem buried underneath the mud. I can’t wait until your eyes are open and you can see it, too.”
“I knew I was fucked when I realized everything you considered a flaw of yours happened to be something I found beauty in.
Not everyone deserved this version of her. And, for as long as I could be, I would be selfish with her.
As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t heal her. She had to manage the healing on her own.
She’s trying to become some perfect version of herself that I’ve never asked for.”
But tell me how I’m supposed to fight your battles with you when you’re fighting me?
“Halo, look at me right now and tell me I’m a monster. Tell me that you hate me and that you want nothing more to do with me. Tell me you don’t want this to work and you want me to stop trying. Tell me to give up. Tell me that you don’t want to love me anymore. Tell me to my face, because it’s the only way I’ll receive it. Look at me and tell me this is the end and I’ll do as you ask of me.”
