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“Alecic. Soft-natured. Gentle. Fragile. Mild-mannered. I’d use those words to describe what’s in front of me. Their relation to an actual halo isn’t coincidental. The name suits you.”
“It involves me taking you to my house, eating your pretty pussy until you beg for me to have mercy on you, then you putting my dick down your wet, slippery throat right before I slide into the mess we both create between your legs,” he articulated.
You’re in control. I quickly translated his words. He was suggesting that I was in complete control, not understanding just how much those words meant to me. What this moment meant for me.
God, please fix me. Heal me. Restore everything within me that has been broken.
My ideal love centered around devotion, protection, romance, patience, kindness, respect, and a bunch of filthy ass sex.
Her fragility contributes to her beauty.
We’ve both got scars, I discovered. Wounds that still need healing.
Dear God, I’m at the end of my road. There’s nothing more that I can do to fix my brokenness. Without you, this road is impossible to travel. I’ve met a man, a fairly decent man from what I’ve learned so far. Together, we’re having a child and as selfish as I want to be, I can’t be. He deserves to love on, care for, and be with our child as much as I do. And, I want that for him, for me, and our unborn. But, I have no idea of how to let him in. The only man I’ve ever trusted destroyed me, ravished my soul, tainted my heart, abused my body, and turned me into someone I don’t even recognize.
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“When you give me the chance, I’m going to love you down pretty lady, until your heart can’t take anymore.”
“At this point, I’m locked in, aight? Like, locked the fuck in. And, I’d kill anything moving about you and this little one.” I pointed to her stomach while pausing.
“I’m the sorry one. I’m sorry that life has been so unkind to you. I’m sorry that you had to suffer for so long. I’m sorry that you’ve had to face this all by yourself. I’m sorry that your grandmother passed. I’m sorry that there was no one around to protect you. I’m sorry that you had such a shitty childhood. I’m sorry that the sickness of someone else forever altered your world and the perception of the world in its entirety.”
“I’m sorry that you’re afraid and always scared. I’m sorry that you haven’t become the girl that you’re yearning to be. I’m sorry that you spent most of your pregnancy alone. I’m sorry that I didn’t come sooner. I’m sorry, Halo.”
“I just know that you’re part of me, now. You’re embedded. Your name, etched right on my heart. And, for the rest of my life, I want to keep loving on you, keep falling in love with you. Soon as you’re all better and feeling like yourself again after giving me the greatest gift ever, I’m locking it down for life. I’m telling you now so don’t freak out on me, pretty lady. Tell ya’ nigga yes when he asks you to marry him. Alright?”
