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“Alecic. Soft-natured. Gentle. Fragile. Mild-mannered. I’d use those words to describe what’s in front of me. Their relation to an actual halo isn’t coincidental. The name suits you.”
God, please fix me. Heal me. Restore everything within me that has been broken.
My ideal love centered around devotion, protection, romance, patience, kindness, respect, and a bunch of filthy ass sex.
Dear God, I’m at the end of my road. There’s nothing more that I can do to fix my brokenness. Without you, this road is impossible to travel. I’ve met a man, a fairly decent man from what I’ve learned so far. Together, we’re having a child and as selfish as I want to be, I can’t be. He deserves to love on, care for, and be with our child as much as I do. And, I want that for him, for me, and our unborn. But, I have no idea of how to let him in. The only man I’ve ever trusted destroyed me, ravished my soul, tainted my heart, abused my body, and turned me into someone I don’t even recognize.
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“I’m the sorry one. I’m sorry that life has been so unkind to you. I’m sorry that you had to suffer for so long. I’m sorry that you’ve had to face this all by yourself. I’m sorry that your grandmother passed. I’m sorry that there was no one around to protect you. I’m sorry that you had such a shitty childhood. I’m sorry that the sickness of someone else forever altered your world and the perception of the world in its entirety.”
“I’m sorry that you’re afraid and always scared. I’m sorry that you haven’t become the girl that you’re yearning to be. I’m sorry that you spent most of your pregnancy alone. I’m sorry that I didn’t come sooner. I’m sorry, Halo.”
“You hear me, pretty lady? I’m sorry about it all. Until I take my last breath, I plan to try right every wrong the world caused you. I just hope it’s enough to help you understand how much of a treasure you are. All you see is a mess. I see a gem buried underneath the mud. I can’t wait until your eyes are open and you can see it, too.”
“Ledge.” “What’s up, mommas?” “I’m so happy it’s you and no one else.” That had been on my mind since I discovered the little one I was carrying. “Me too. Me too.”
G, thank you for setting up my day to be full of blessings and surprises. There’s a girl just a few rooms down the hall that I’m really into. She’s having my baby. I want to do right by her. Help me. She’s the most precious thing I’ve ever seen or held in my hands. I don’t ever want to let her go. She needs a healing, a good one. It’s something I can’t do alone, so I need your help with that too. A nigga feels like he’s begging, but it is what it is. Help me help her. Show me the ropes. Show me the way. And, I promise, I’m going to put a ring on that pretty as— that pretty finger of hers. I’m
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“I just know that you’re part of me, now. You’re embedded. Your name, etched right on my heart. And, for the rest of my life, I want to keep loving on you, keep falling in love with you. Soon as you’re all better and feeling like yourself again after giving me the greatest gift ever, I’m locking it down for life. I’m telling you now so don’t freak out on me, pretty lady. Tell ya’ nigga yes when he asks you to marry him. Alright?”
“This feels so new to me but it feels so right. I’ve never cried as an expression of happiness. I’ve been sad since I can remember. I thought I’d spend the rest of my life that way, but that’s so untrue.
“Everyone has spouses and children and just living the dream. Black love at its finest. This is the type of thing that the world wants us to believe isn’t possible or real. Health. Wealth. Love. And Light amongst us.”
“Women are very complex creatures, bro. It’s like, they don’t blame men for fucking up. They automatically blame themselves. Most of them, at least. I wasn’t nice enough. I wasn’t cute enough. I wasn’t spontaneous enough. I wasn’t this and that and the truth is that shit has nothing to do with them.”
