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February 13 - February 16, 2023
now it’s nearly November
So Magnolia’s about to return
And so it doesn’t matter that I love Christian, which I do,30 because love isn’t enough and it’s not all you need and we are the proof of that.
October 30th. My brother’s birthday.
Daisy for me was a complete trip — I accidentally fell in love with her, and I accidentally lost her. I wasn’t ready for it. I wasn’t ready to love someone how it turns out I love her.
You idiot
Me and Jo doing this fucking thing together. Less ‘him one and me two’, more equal partnership, but then again, he is getting pretty cocky these days—
Just a painting worth £45,000,000 that’s been missing for the last twelve years that Scotland Yard was willing to trade for Jules’ freedom.
He got Jules back?👏🏾👏🏾
Julian throws me a look. “The precision with which she chose what lip thing to put on just before, holding those two tubes like they weren’t the same colour — are you on heavy drugs to cope?” “If she’s holding you against your will…” Josette gives me a look. “Blink twice.”
😭😭😭
But that’s part of the problem I guess. She took herself out of this life to be normal, but she’s her. The hottest girl in the world, honeypots for eyes, smartest person in every room. She’ll never be normal, even if she tries.
Aww Christian
Thought for a hot minute about paying someone a visit, but it felt too risky. We drove south to Florida.
Not Magnolia please
“Well,” I say, pulling my gun out and laying it down on the table. Hope she sees it as a proper threat and not the hollow one it really is. “Look what the cat dragged in.”
This is so sick but sexy as hellll
“What’s the pin code?” Kekoa called out. “Three-zero-one-zero,”3 I yelled
Julian’s birthday
The door swung open and Tiller tensed up behind me. A surgical table, a couple of IV poles, a cabinet of basic medical supplies, a medical equipment stand with the tray ready to go.4 On the other side of the wall, a cabinet of knives, guns and weapons. “Fuck.” Miguel let out a wry laugh. “Old habits die hard, huh Dais?”
Christian because he’s him and he knows me how I’ve always daydreamed someone would truly know me, and now he did, but it didn’t matter anyway because we couldn’t be together either, so I muffled the cry that came from my mouth with my hand and took a few breaths. Then there was a hand on my arm. “You’re shaking,” said my favourite voice in the world.8
I never thought that he’d morph into one of those rare people whose presence undoes you, and not only in a bad way, (but yes in a bad way) but also in the good way, where he makes me feel safe when I’m not safe, and brave when I’m not brave, and okay when I’m not okay, and I wish that yoke would break, I wish I didn’t feel those things as I stared over at him, but I did.
Henry stares at me for a few seconds and then blows air out of his mouth. “Not you here pretending like he’s overreacting when you’re staking out a different florist every other hour…”
Got him there😭
“My brother—” I shake my head. “There’s never a time where — he’s never been indifferent towards my safety before.”
Oh girl, clearly he’s hurt and acting out
after that night I told my brother about the flowers, I’ve seen Romeo every day since. The last four days I’ve finished work, gone downstairs to the carpark, and he’s just waiting there by the elevator. He doesn’t say anything to me. Doesn’t even look at me, actually. Walks about a metre behind me. He walks me to my car, watches til I drive out of the garage and then he leaves.
How sweet
“Slut,” I fire back. She shrugs. “Takes one to know one.”
“And we held hands… for a couple of seconds.” “Shit.” Henry sits back in his chair, blinking, processing it. “I wonder if you got her pregnant…”
Loool
Julian can’t stomach a caged animal so he stole the painting, took the cub and banged the ex wife.
Awww
“Because Magnolia bought it for me when we were at school, so I always wore it because I thought she’d like me more if I did.” “Oh.” I say, turning away. “I don’t want her to like me anymore.” He says and I turn back to face him. “So I stopped wearing it.”
Oh Christiannn
“Well so, what do you wear now then?” A little smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Blanche. Byredo.” “Okay.” I shrug. “Why?” He shrugs back. “Just reminds me of something I love.”
Aaahh
“You didn’t know we had a baby, I know. But like, you knew what she was to me.” I shake my head but I guess it’s sort of true. “Didn’t stop you, man. It didn’t matter. You just wanted her too.”
Yeah that’s true tbh
“How would I know before you?” He gives me a long look. “Never know with you two.”
BJ don’t trust him anymore with her
Should we tell him? Oh! Perhaps…! Tell me, do you feel like dying today?
Christian could take him though ngl
He gives me a look. “If my girlfriend asks — no, we’re still not speaking.” “Girlfriend…!” I look over at him, eyes wide. I’m happy for him.
Good for him
“Teeks is right though, split them up—”
Teeks is such a cute nickname though
“You know the rules — but I’ll say them again for Declan.” He gives his friend a sharp look. “No blood drawn, no choke-holds—” He looks over at me. “Daisy, no chloroform.” I flip him off.
Eh what kind of game is this?
That meme where Danny Glover walks into the room on fire holding a pizza? This is the real life version of that.
Tiller’s not made for this😭😭😭
“Are you okay?” I frown, glancing around, gun still out. She breathes out, clasping her chest. “Fuck—” She sighs. “Put that away — I was watching Criminal Minds.”
That’s my bestie
“Even more than the time you kissed that girl from your school in front of Gia Bambrilla and then the next day they found that girl dead in the Thames?”
What??? How’d she just say that so casually?
“Have you kidnapped anyone since?” “No.” I’m lying, but. “No, definitely not—” I shake my head, flash her a tight smile. “Yes. Fuck.” “Julian!” “Sorry—” I shove my hands through my hair. “Sorry! I just — it does get it done…” She lowers her chin, glaring at me. “Julian.”
Please I’m in love with Julian, so unhinged
“So if they offered you a place, would you have taken it?” “They did9 — and no.” My brother shakes his head, and I see a twinge of sadness flash across his face.
Julian- A rugby playerrr, he must have such a fine ass
“Ah!” My brother grins, eyes like live-wires. “Daisyface, if you think any of us getting into Heaven is predicated on something we have or have not done, you’ve misunderstood that entire book.” He gives me a look. “Detrimentally so,” he tacks on at the end.
and I think he thinks it’s something he has over me, that he knows I love her. But actually, I don’t give a shit who knows I love her. Or maybe I do because she loves someone else now and I hate looking stupid.
And if it’s BJ who’s backing her up — I just should have seen it coming, that’s all.
Yep, you cannot count on her keeping her mouth shut at allll
“I really do feel like Beej fucking Paili and then lying about it for three years gives Christian and I a little bit of wriggle room to have nearly had sex one night in a lift in New York.”
Do I dress for church on Christmas morning thinking that I might see Christian Hemmes? I might do.13
Loool
“Did you get any good presents?” I ask, trying to keep it feeling light. “Yep.” He nods. “Favourite?” I ask, without turning to him. “My best friend in my kitchen at my mum’s house,” he says without missing a beat.
“Dads usually like me.” I pull a face. “That tracks,” Christian shrugs. “He’s not much of a dad anyway.”
Damn
“You’re not going to ask to be excused?” his dad calls after us. “Why would I?” Christian stops in his tracks. “You didn’t when you excused yourself from our lives.”
“Because at the rate you’re going, you’re going to kiss him on New Year’s Eve.”
Please it’s so true
I texted Jo for an update just before — because let’s be honest — BJ and Magnolia are our own private version of Made in Chelsea, except it’s probably called Made in Trauma — all Jo replied was “Shit’s fucked.”
As usual
“Text me when you get home,” Henry calls to her. “I’m not going to go home, Hen,” she tells him solemnly. And Henry, that poor bastard — he looks like he’s about to pass a fucking stone
Magnolia = Mess
“You’re Central Park at midnight.” My face falters. I’m her death wish?
Poetic
Haven’t seen my brother all that much these last two days because he’s been holed up in his room with — kill me please and wait for it — Magnolia fucking Parks.
don’t think she realises she’s this little grenade of a person, cute as a fucking button, waltzing on in, blowing shit up.
Accurate description
“It’s a trap,” I tell him, resolutely. “Someone’s trying to trap you.”
Daisy’s just that bitch, she is useful as hell
Didn’t immediately bring her home though. Jonah’s desk is a convenient height
Why Jonah’s desk?!?!
“Strange.” Her mouth puckered. “Everyone usually is dying for me to dress them — I’m very good at it,” she told us both, glancing between us.
I wouldn’t, not after seeing that instagram page😒
