Then there’s the never being able to access the top shelf because you’re not tall enough and can’t find the elephant’s foot manoeuvre. There’s supposed to be a foot in each bay but there never is. Anyway, the correct procedure is to stand on one of the lower shelves and clamber up like a monkey, book clenched in your teeth. And before Health and Safety people begin to fibrillate, you don’t always bring the bookcase down on top of yourself so stop complaining. The whole manoeuvre is stylishly completed by returning to ground level and falling over the elephant’s foot, which turns out to have
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