The Good, The Bad and The History (Chronicles of St. Mary's #14)

by Jodi Taylor

it’s important to have a true record of events. Not the political version, not the religious version, not the version put about by the winners – and definitely not the bought-and-paid-for version – but the actual, warts and all, correct version. Given the way History has been rewritten, reimagined or downright faked over the last hundred years or so, you can imagine how many people would like to get their hands on our Archive. To misrepresent, alter, amend or completely obliterate the inconvenient bits of History not quite in line with current fashionable thinking.

Then there’s the never being able to access the top shelf because you’re not tall enough and can’t find the elephant’s foot manoeuvre. There’s supposed to be a foot in each bay but there never is. Anyway, the correct procedure is to stand on one of the lower shelves and clamber up like a monkey, book clenched in your teeth. And before Health and Safety people begin to fibrillate, you don’t always bring the bookcase down on top of yourself so stop complaining. The whole manoeuvre is stylishly completed by returning to ground level and falling over the elephant’s foot, which turns out to have been hiding behind you the whole time. Colleagues will then mark your dismount for artistic content and technical difficulty.

were they being extra polite to each other in that special English way that says, I detest you and will rip out your heart at the first opportunity. May I pour you another cup of tea?

Admin staff – the lethal force you never see coming. There’s probably one of them standing behind you at this very moment. DON’T look round.

‘Being a bounty hunter is fun. There are no rules other than those you yourself choose to abide by. No one’s telling you what to do all day long. Exhilaration. Enjoyable danger. Head-banging sex. Sometimes all at the same time. And it’s profitable. More money than you thought you’d earn in an entire lifetime.’

never be the last to leave the party and that’s exactly right. We should always recognise when it’s time to end something, and I think you do, don’t you?’

I can temporarily remove you from the active list if you wish, but not every job at St Mary’s involves leaping into a pod and initiating a near apocalypse.’ ‘True, but all the best ones do.’