One For the Ages (DCI Logan Crime Thrillers, #16)

by J.D. Kirk

ONE FOR THE AGES

I don’t often write reviews, that’s what I I figure Kindle notes & Goodreads are perfect for, feel something right in the moment and post it, otherwise you’ll forget it come the end. I call my rather unique mental scaffolding ‘the spidey web’, it, along with a Olympic sized swimming pool full of ‘little red fishies’ (red herrings) & of course myself, The Ego, spend the entirety of any book being read battling over a plethora of plot twists, guesstimating, maybes & hopefully semi hilarious puns & diatribe, although, be warned before you read, that sometimes I even scare myself. So without further ado…

I don’t often write reviews, that’s what I I figure Kindle notes & Goodreads are perfect for, feel something right in the moment and post it, otherwise you’ll forget it come the end. I call my rather unique mental scaffolding ‘the spidey web’, it, along with a Olympic sized swimming pool full of ‘little red fishies’ (red herrings) & of course myself, The Ego, spend the entirety of any book being read battling over a plethora of plot twists, guesstimating, maybes & hopefully semi hilarious puns & diatribe, although, be warned before you read, that sometimes I even scare myself. So without further ado…

CHAPTER ONE

Ok, while reading page one, the killer is annoyed, just a little either at the elderly, or perhaps … 1001 different things! See? I’m guessing here!

She’d told herself she was ready for death. She’d cited it to others like a mantra. I’ve had a good innings. I’ve lived a long life. When it came, she’d said, she wasn’t going to fight it.

Let me tell you, it’s never long enough, you’ll always want more, and if there comes a time you have to? You’ll fight it with blood, stick and venom to whoever stands in your way

A finger was raised, though he stopped short of giving it a reproachful wag.

My mother loves todo that, but finger fully pushing into my head etc, it looks horrid, it really does, she never used to, well maybe just to a more noticeable degree, but either way it’s like the epitome of an ugly stepmother, sadly, mine IS my mum, shame

He’d always been what those in the ranks below had described as ‘an uptight prick.’ He’d mostly played fair, though, and even if very few people actively liked the man, they generally had a level of respect for him.

I think that was me at work, nobody could fault my work, it was just the social part I had problems with, I expected the best out of myself, so I expected the best out of everyone else, and it didn’t always work that way, not at all.

“The nasty wee fucker

Now now, someone’s going to be put on ‘the naughty step’ if this language carries on! ;)

“What the fuck did you do that for?”

“Fuck off!”

Uh uh uh, 5.5 mins on the step, I don’t think your getting the message! Maybe we’ll count them? Only Logan’s, page 20 and 3 so far

The ‘landing pad’ was a muddy field,

Heh, the one for the hospital I worked at was essentially on a field on the side of a lake, a volcanic one no less, there were lots of rabbits there years ago but I think the bloody hospital killed them, utter bastards!

Tyler looked up at the DCI for quite a long time, his lips moving silently.

Heh heh heh oh god I’ve missed this team!

I’m sure you’d have got there on your own, eventually.”

Love it, best part is the comma before eventually

Still, at least it wasn’t raining.

Really? You tempt the fates, you pay the price!

Logan watched four white-clad members of Palmer’s team walking in a line across one of the grassy areas, eyes on the ground in front of them as they shuffled along in perfect step with each other, like the world’s dullest dance troupe.

WOMBLES!!! - The White Version ;)

“Any chance you could leave my mug?”

Heh heh it goes to show a master at their prime, how the smallest comment can give the greatest giggle!

Tyler’s generation had come onto the job long after identikit stations like this one had become the norm. Any discussion on the matter would be a waste of breath.

He should make them all watch that Brit tv show where the cop goes back into the past, still as a cop, cannot remember the name of it, but damn it was an awesome show, had 3 seasons I think and a good guy cop looking bad was called Gene, from memory. Not seen it, read this? Go watch it!

“Is that…” He leaned in closer to check, for fear he might be about to make a fool of himself. “Is that a baked bean sandwich?” Shona’s mouth was too full to reply, but not too full to grin happily at him. She answered the question with a nod and a raised thumb.

Next highlight >>

I thought I’d shake things up a bit

That’s not as odd as it sounds, well depending if it’s hot or cold, cold would be yuck! Hot wouldn’t be any different than beans & toast, I’ve had baked beans toasties before, which now, besides the fact I’m not really hungry, I want one!

Or, the bread had been white, at least, before the sauce from a big dollop of baked beans had started turning it into a soft, mushy shade of orange.

Ok, obviously not a toastie WTH Shona! Yuckies!

“How did you know?”

Heh heh heh!!!

“Have I slipped into a parallel world or something?” asked Ben from his seat.

Oh I’m betting this us one of those few times when it’s ok to laugh at your own jokes, then check with the head of the house I& everything else) if she thinks it funny, then edit it slightly just as she suggested! Two big thumbs up for the edited version!👍👩‍🦰👍

“Oh. Aye. About that, boss,” Tyler said. “Something you should know. Albert. He’s deaf.” “Deaf?” “Aye. And not just, like, hard of hearing, old man sort of deaf. Deaf deaf. You know, like full-on sign language, and that?”

I recently went fully dead for around 2 months, totally out of the blue, woke up, couldn’t hear a single thing, talk about a freak out! I had been dealing with a little harder to hear problem, but I wasn’t expecting anything like that. Luckily we have free heAlthcare & in 15 or so minutes s lovely nurse had it better but when I say better, it means if you stand right in front of me and speak loud, I will probably hear you, maybe… I never understood the hardships of dealing with something like this, how people treat you, ability to do different things, we don’t do enough for deaf people , in my mind I’d see all the help a person may need, medical, surgical, hearing aids, counseling even and maybe just talking to others in one way or another. We can send millions of $$ overseas, but we can’t fix this?

She looked like she should be investigating missing puppies or sweetie shop break-ins, not cold-blooded murders.

Don’t let looks deceive you, everyone can surprise or even shock with things nobody else knows.

“Hello, Mr Hall,” Logan said, raising his voice and going a little overboard on the enunciation.

You know my last highlight, regarding going deaf/being deaf, well I’ve always been 1/2 deaf, born with a congenital ❌ on hearing in my right ear, but I’ve never known any different than that so it’s not doth I ever worried about but now, you say your deaf and people do exactly what Logan has and it’s so SO FRIGGING ANNOYING! If your deaf, yelling won’t help, it’d be like handing a blind person a pair of glasses 🙄

“This is why I stick with women,” she said. “Far less chance of this sort of thing happening.” Sinead’s laugh was a little awkward. Detective Superintendent Mitchell was usually something of a closed book. Her sexuality was no secret—Sinead had briefly met her partner once, at some after-work do—but talking about it like this was unusual.

Isn’t it bloody sad at the way we still are, fighting over sexuality, racial issues, mental health & drugs, the trifecta +1 I’d like to think we’re not a lost cause, but somedays I just don’t know.

“It’s so easily done,” Tyler said. “They make all the doors—” “Look the same!” DC Swanney laughed, and the melody of it danced between the raindrops.

My old work did something about this in certain areas that people got confused, the put colored lines on the flooring, then you just follow the line to get where you want to go

“What have I done?”

Oh Logan, never ask that, it’s like saying it’s a quiet day at work, the Fates hear you, well they hear EVERYTHING and boy they do love to stir things up, I guess they’re bored upwards or bored down, choose your direction carefully though as you may bite off more than you can choose….

“Then I noticed. Ornaments on both sides, nothing in the middle. Just a space that doesn’t fit.”

I would of thought the same exact thing,it’s a female, or gay thing, the space has to fit and this doesnt

“You’re talking to the right man about having a lack of something,” Logan remarked. “Tyler’s got a list a mile long.”

Heh one of, if not THE best liner yet

Hamza shot the folder a dirty look, like it was somehow responsible for the bad news.

See, this, THIS is why I ADORE these books! The just not quite in your face sarcasms every other page, oh, ok, every paragraph! Well, unless there’s dead people of course, then we have to be more respectful & wait to turn the page then add a sneaky little comm ;)

fancy camera doorbell things.

Ring

Back to the Future trilogy, at least.

“Jesus,” he eventually whispered, then he quickly slammed the drawer closed again, and tried to convince himself that he’d imagined the whole thing.

No no No! It’s a clue! Shrek was there!!!

Tyler didn’t want to touch it.

I’m not bloody surprised! Who knows where it’s been?!? Ok, well we know of at least one for sure, dunno if that helps matters much prolly not, but hey it could be worse, he might of forgotten his gloves….. Tyler?… Gloves?.. pocket? Oh sheesh never mind, it’s that bad!

“Jesus!” he groaned. Why did this sort of thing always happen to him?

If there’s a place after this, where writers and their creations come together, this particular author is SO screwed! :)

An assistant was the last thing she bloody needed.

He, or she, may be .. hmm cute, interesting fun, gorgeous, want to rip their clothes off gorgeous… take your pick, be positive!

“I suppose not, sir,” DC Swanney said. “Thank you, sir.”

Aww, I like her, have to give the author props, he brings in a new character and within a few pages it feels like she was always there, and very likable

“Do people still do that sort of thing at that age?” “What are you asking me for? How the hell should I know?” Logan replied.

Yes, yes they do and I don’t mean me! God I have quite a few years to go until being that old! But let’s just say I’ve got knowledge that they do. Not all of them I’m quite sure, but randy old men aren’t just for comedy shows!

Ben cursed himself. He should’ve realised. If he’d been paying attention, he might’ve picked up just the slightest suggestion of something in her voice that would’ve told him her hearing development had not been a normal one.

BS until say 4 months ago you’d never of known I was born 1/2 deaf

“They don’t live rich,” Tammi-Jo said through a mouthful of her Hawaiian pizza.

I like her more all the time, Hawaiian pizza would be what I’d get if I had to share if it’s just me I add Italian salami & mushrooms & don’t knock it til you’ve tried it, sweet pineapple, salty ham, earthy mushrooms and spicy salami. Yum!

reaching into the tray and taking one of the chips for himself. He was careful to take one at the opposite end of the tray to the salad cream. Or, as he’d dubbed it, the Devil’s Spunk.

Oh that’s like that French or European thing hot chips & mayo..? Never tried it, well I guess I have when your just eating and use the chips to swipe up the sauces etc on the plate, same goes for tartare sauce. It’s ok, but I’d never do it as a normal way to add to chips, gimme some BBQ sauce, or we have a thick tomato chutney here, it’s really a sauce, they just named it chutney, no clue why, but it’s yummy and totally different flavored to a ‘normal’ tomato sauce, hmm, maybe that’s why they called it chutney…? Anywho, it’s Whitlocks thick tomato chutney and if some poor sods bored enough to read this, find it online, it’s definitely worth the hassle, hell I will personally send anyone a bottle, the sauce free, the postage = whatever it is.

Maybe we shouldn’t have sent Constable Niddrie away yet.”

I was gonna say something about that but didn’t, seemed a bit silly as they’re bound to need someone to help, hell he doesn’t even know she was murdered yet!

“I know. I won’t. And, I love you, too,” and then quickly pressed the button that ended the call, and dropped the phone into the passenger seat beside her.

Aww, sounds like my Mummy Dearest & I. I don’t think I do a damn thing good enough for her and she’s always happy to point that out.

While the brain was firing on all cylinders, it was the body that was letting her down. She was painfully stooped, her spine curving from the centre of her back so her natural standing position would leave her staring at her own feet. This meant she was forced to angle her neck awkwardly in order to look straight ahead.

Oh my good old pal, scoliosis, unfortunately I know him a little too well, ruined my bloody life for all intents and purposes :|

“Did you ever feel like you were missing out on having a sibling?”

In a word YES but quite frankly I’m surprised my Mummy Dearest managed to actually come near enough to Dad for even ghost, the poor bugger. Having a second would of been a bloody magic trick. I missed having one and in some ways I still do. I think lone children grow up quite differently to siblings. We’re much more used to do solo activities etc, as there’s nobody else. I’d love to know if there’s been studies on it and if reading is much more prevalent in solo kids, as I know it was and obviously still is a big thing for me & I doubt I’m alone.

“I’m an adult woman. I’m married. I don’t want

Hardly her place to say, is it.

She must’ve realised then quite how harsh she was sounding, because her tone softened.

F me! Sorry, but omg who does she think she is?!? What a right Royal biatch!

Granted, she’d knocked back five big glasses of apple juice—three

Sugar high, you wouldn’t believe the amount of sugar in fruit, they’re good old Mother natures sweeteners.

sausage

Grrr it’s nearly 1am and your making me hungry sausage & egg muffin, with just slightly runny egg, just a teeny bit

she cupped it as the pain came again.

Why? Not the pain, but how she’s acting? It’s strange, even for me, and I eat strange for breakfast! ;)