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“I get that, Lil. Honestly, after having some time to reflect, I realized I was so wrapped up in you being my first love that I wasn’t truly hearing what you were asking of me. I wanted us to work despite everything you were feeling, but it was unrealistic.”
“I appreciate you saying that, but it also wasn’t right to deny my feelings for you. I was afraid, but putting up walls hurt you, and I’m sorry.”
The time apart has obviously been extremely helpful for her if she’s been able to piece together so many stray parts of herself. “I can’t quite explain how much it means to hear you say that.”
“I mean every word. You urged me to take a risk this summer, and it was the best thing to ever happen to me. I don’t want to live my life being afraid of love or of loving you, even when things aren’t going according to one of my carefully-crafted plans.”
“I found your notes in my journal.” She pauses, a smile spreading across her face. “I’ve read your words every day. Not taking a risk on us and spending a life without you doesn’t feel safer, it feels incomplete. Falling in love with you was the simple part, and I’m sorry it took so long for me to admit it.”
“Don’t apologize for taking your time. You’re right, a life without each other would feel incomplete. Which is why I want to spend our days having breakfast for dinner. I want to sleep in the same bed, under the same sheets. I want to watch rom-coms with you and hold your hand when you force yourself to sit through scary movies with me.”
want you, Lily. I want to call you, kiss you, feel you. I want your faults and truths and each one of your laughs. I want you and all your firsts, but there’s a small part of me that’s afraid.”
“About what?” Her brows furrow at my words. “I’m afraid that if something gets hard again, you’ll pull away instead of reaching for me. I know I won’t be able to solve all your problems, but I need to know you won’t run when things get tough.”
“I’m done running, Nico,” she says. Our eyes remain locked; the weight of her words sinking in. “I can’t fix the way I’ve coped with things in my past, but moving forward, I know I don’t want to isolate myse...
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sticker. “It’s the same color as our bracelets.” “That it is. Do you like it?” “I love it. I love you.” “You know I’d do anything for you.” Lily beams, and it’s like a ray of sunshine fell through the skylight and landed right in front of me.
“‘To the man who made me understand I deserve to take a risk on my own happily ever after.’”
“I love you for always making me laugh, even in the most inappropriate times. I love you for talking my ear off with silly jokes and ideas. I love the way you ask all the hard-hitting questions, even when I don’t want to hear them. I love you like I’ve never loved anyone, and I want your liabilities.”
“I fucking love you, Nico Navarro.” “I fucking love you too.”
“Excuse me, Lily Rodin’s boyfriend coming through,” I shout over the heads of all the people crowded together in the bookstore.
Lily doesn’t know it yet, but the small box in my desk drawer will change my title to fiancé soon enough. I’m counting down the moments until it feels right.
No matter how many times I’ve seen her, woken up in the same bed with her, or made her fall apart in my hands, Lily still yanks the air right out of my lungs. Today is no different. I’m so fucking proud of my girl.
We kiss the same kiss we’ve shared since I moved back to New York, and it still sends a clatter of nerves through my chest.
“What are we giving cheers to today?” I whisper in my lady’s ear. Lily holds up her shot of champagne. “To taking risks.”
