Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1)

by Rebecca Yarros

He leans in and kisses me hard and quick. “Wanting you will be the death of me. Let’s go.”

“Violet Sorrengail,” she whispers, moving closer. “Are you wearing Riorson’s flight jacket?”

“Why would you say that?” I do a shitty job of feigning shock and shove the sheaths into every available pocket in this thing. All three of them, which are considerably deeper than the ones in my own jacket. “Oh, I don’t know. Because it’s huge on you and there are three stars right here?” She taps where there’s only one star on her uniform. Well, shit. Just goes to show that neither of us was thinking clearly. “It could be any third-year’s.” I shrug.

“With a Fourth Wing shield on the shoulder?” She cocks an eyebrow. “That does limit it a bit,” I agree. “And a wingleader emblem beneath those stars?” she teases. “Fine, it’s his,” I whisper quickly

Or the one I had inside me less than a half hour ago? The one who declared that he doesn’t deserve me but is going to keep me?

Relief and disbelief hit me in equal measure.

Rhiannon says, leaning on my shoulder and quickly draping her hand over my collarbone to hide Xaden’s insignia and rank.

Athebyne? That’s beyond the wards…that’s where Xaden flew his secretive mission.

“The wingleader had it made for me. See? It hooks to Tairn’s.”

“It’s just in case I can’t keep up. Now I can come along!” Just another reason to adore Xaden. “Well, I love it.” I turn to Tairn, who’s busy snapping at Cath to give him more room. “Need me to attach anything?” “I have it handled.”

“How can I help you?” Dain bites out, his shoulders straightening. “I need you,” Xaden says to me.

“If you’re saying goodbye, it’s to him,” Xaden corrects, nodding at Dain. “I’m constructing my headquarters squad and you’re coming with me. So are Liam and Imogen.”

“Stop.” I put my hand on Xaden’s arm. “Xaden, stop. If you want me to go with you, I’ll go. It’s that simple.” His gaze shifts to meet mine and immediately softens.

I can’t help but note both of the important men are walking away from me right now, in opposite directions, and given the one I’ve chosen to follow, my life is about to change forever.

I’m so damned in love with that man. How am I supposed to keep it off my face?

let alone fall in love with them.

“Keep looking at me like that and we’ll be stopped longer than a half hour,” he warns without looking at me. “Promise?” His gaze whips my way, and I swear I see him actually smile before turning back toward Garrick.

When I return to the shore of the lake, Xaden walks away from Garrick and holds out his hand as he approaches. My eyebrows rise. Is he… No. He wouldn’t. Not in front of the eight other cadets. He laces his fingers with mine. Guess he would.

“People talk. Let them.” I’m not ashamed of loving him, and I can handle any mean-spirited gossip that comes my way.

“Worrying about you is ninety-nine percent of what I do.” His thumb strokes the back of my hand.

“Trust me, my motives aren’t altruistic, Violence. I’ll take any excuse I can get to put my hands on you.”

His eyes darken. “I’m going to keep you,” he promises, just like he did last night. Or was it this morning? “You’re mine, Violet.” I lift my chin. “Only if you’re mine.”

“I’ve been yours for longer than you could ever imagine.”

I never lied when I said I can’t live without you, Violence.” He backs away slowly, his lips curving in a sad smile. “And defenseless women have never been my type, remember?”

“Tairn?” It’s not just me going to war. “We will feast on their bones, Silver One.” Graphic, but point made. I will not leave innocent people to die, no matter what side of the border they live on. I will not let my squadmates risk their lives while I run,

A thousand emotions cross his face, but Xaden only nods as he walks toward the battlements.

As angry as I am, I can’t imagine a world without him in it. “I need you to survive this, even if I hate that I still love you.”

He’ll be the first to die if I’m not exactly what he called me under that tree all those months ago. Violence

Xaden screams through the barrier in my mind, and the sounds of his anguish and fear are nearly more than I can bear.

Damn, sometimes I forget just how beautifully lethal he is. Knowing they’ll all live, I let gravity claim my body and slide from Tairn’s back.

“VIOLET!” I hear Xaden’s scream as I fall.

“You have to fight, Vi,” Xaden whispers against my forehead as we move. “You can hate me all you want when you wake up. You can scream, hit, throw your fucking daggers at me for all I care, but you have to live. You can’t make me fall for you and then die. None of this is worth it without you.”

“Xaden?” a familiar voice calls out, but I can’t place it. Bodhi, maybe? One of the second years? So many strangers. And no friends. Liam is dead. “You have to save her.”

My lungs only fill when hers do, and the time between my heartbeats is filled with sharp, all-consuming fear.

“I should have done a lot of things differently.” What I shouldn’t have done was fought my feelings for her. I should have grabbed on to her after that first kiss the way I wanted and kept her at my side, should have let her all the way in.

I know I can’t live without her even if I do.

Somewhere between the shock of our attraction at the top of that turret to realizing she risked her own life by giving up a boot for someone else on the parapet that first day to her throwing those daggers at my head under the oak tree, I wavered.

I should have realized the danger of getting too close the first time I put her on her back and showed her how easily she could kill me on the mat—a ...

And when she smiled at me after mastering her shield in mere minutes, her face lighting up as the snow fell around us, I fucking fell. We hadn’t even kissed, and I fell.

Or maybe it was when she threw her knives at Barlowe or when jealousy ate me alive seeing Aetos kiss the mouth I’d dreamed about countless times. Looking back, there were a thousand tiny moments that pulled me over the edge for the woman asleep in the bed I always pictured her in.

And I never told her. Not until she was delirious with poison. Why? Because I was scared to give her power over me when she already held it all? Because she’s Lilith Sorrengail’s daughter? Bec...

Shit. I would be a horrible healer.

“I thought I was going to lose you.” The confession comes out strangled,

“You aren’t going to lose me.” She gives me a puzzled look, smiling like I’ve said something peculiar. Then she leans in and kisses me.

“Yes.” Brilliant. Fucking. Woman.

I can’t help it. I smile. This brilliant fucking woman is mine. Or was mine. Will be mine again if I have anything to say about it. Which I probably don’t. I sigh, losing the smile immediately. Fuck.

“Now, Riorson.” I can’t keep from wincing. She never uses my last name.

The loss feels like a bottomless abyss, like a death blow.

That worry is for my mental state if she doesn’t forgive me for not telling her sooner. “She’ll either keep our secret or she won’t.”

I can’t even articulate what it is about the strands that pushes me straight into need-to-fuck-her-now territory, and I’m too busy fighting to keep my hands at my sides to question the why of it.