Dig

by L.A. Ferro

I'm always waiting for someone to pop out and grab me—and not in a good way.

Kris is the person you ask to give an announcement when there's no microphone.

being a woman in a man's world is rough.

The last thing I need right now is a man. Men are shit, and I have enough of my own crap to deal with. I don't need the added stress of being what someone else wants.

I, on the other hand, just finished up my second year of community college, where I got all my prerequisites out of the way. Now, all I need to do is decide what the hell I want to major in at University this fall.

I know he's told me the year a thousand times, but I never remember because cars aren't my thing.

Without words he realized his mistake.

I may be weak and easily persuaded as of late, but I'm not dumb enough to let a man control me.

I may have been the villain in our story, he was the reaper, collecting all my truths only to cut them down to fit his narrative.

Life's too short to spend it wasting your time with someone who doesn't light you up inside."

Just because I know what I want to do doesn't mean I don't feel lost. There are so many days when I feel defeated and think I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life in choosing my career.

I just wish I could rewind the clock to a time when my mind felt less like a prison.

I can't fucking make a decision to save my life, figuratively and literally.

I see that I have two messages from Holden Hayes.

The first reads: Hey pretty girl. Followed by: I was wondering when you were going to reach out.

I only planned on cyberstalking him

Are you going to message him back?"

"Well, duh. I'm just unsure what I'm going to say, so stop pressuring me. I haven't even had a chance to see what he looks like, since he only just accepted my friend request."

"I'll tell you what he looks like. He looks like sex on...

Holden: Are you still there pretty girl?

What is it about this guy that has me feeling some type of way? He's pulling me in, and I don't even know how.

While I may not be able to protect myself from pain, I can save others from me. If I don't let people in, I can't hurt them, and what's more, I can't lose them.

I don’t like being set up, and I hate when friends try to set me up, especially when it's with someone they know, because then you have the added pressure of not offending them if it doesn’t work out or—even worse—running into said bad date down the road. No, thank you.

So, ask me again why I said yes, and the answer is still the same. No fucking clue, but I’m nothing if not superstitious. Show me an athlete who isn’t. Because I said yes without question, which is completely not like me, I now feel like it's because I’m destined to meet this girl. As lame as that may sound, I can’t shake it, and after I saw one picture, I fucking felt her in my bones.

I know what it's like to live with demons.

There will be no one-night stand with Aria Montgomery.

I wish I could figure out who I am, but I lost that privilege, and now I live for others.

When you’re haunted by your past, it's hard to live for your future.

she must have led a very sheltered life to be so careless with her heart.

If there’s one thing I am not, that is a shot taker. I am a lightweight through and through, and this shot is a promised horrible decision.

"Hey pretty girl,"

hands that any woman would love wrapped around her throat. I’m not even into being choked but fuck if I wouldn’t let him try.

"What are the chances I can get you to take a walk with me?"

"Is there something wrong with this booth?"

"You’re not going to make this easy, are you?"

"No, I’m going to make it extremely easy."

"Have a good night, Holden."

"Is he hot as hell? Girl yes, I’m not blind. Do I like him? Doesn’t matter. I’m not the girl he’s looking for tonight."

I’m expecting them to start with fifty questions, but instead, they all just stand there looking at me. That’s when I realize they’re not looking at me but rather past me. When I turn my head to see what’s so amusing, I find Holden propped up in the doorway with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"So, you think I’m hot as hell? I can work with that."

Great. Now I’m completely...

I felt like Holden could see all the parts of me I hid from the world.

This man is going to wreck me. I feel it in my bones. It won't matter if I give him one night or ten. He’s the man you never get over. The one who, if you don’t marry him, will forever be in the back of your mind as ‘the one that got away’, your ‘what if’.

"If I'm making you laugh, I can't be that bad."

"Pretty girl, you’re going to have to stop looking at me like that."

"How am I looking at you?"

"You're looking at me like you don't hate me as much as you've led me to believe."

"I…What? I never said that."

Setting my shoes on the ground, I’m just about to step in when Holden steals them.

"Hey, what are you doing? I was just going to put those back on."