For the Fans

by Nyla K.

Not that Boston is bad. It has its qualities, though we’re not even living in Boston, per se. We moved to a small city on the outskirts called Malden.

Boston is so not Brooklyn. But still, I won’t be deterred. After all, we’re here to Subway start fresh, and I wouldn’t say it’s gone as stale as that nasty bread just yet. So I’m optimistic.

LOL

I’m still not over the accent. Paahhk the caahhh. Wicked good chowdaahh. Hilarious.

Crushin another day in Somerville. Love my hometown. #blessed

We’ve said the I love you words, although for me they were just that. Words. I think she actually meant them.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. When I reopen them, I lock eyes with myself. You’re here. This is you.

It’s not my fault. Taking my phone out of my pocket, I open the camera just to stare at myself. It’s fine… It’s all fine. You’re here. This is you.

“I have two words for you… I mean, two words smashed together for some reason.” My brows knitted. “OnlyFans.”

“And you really make that much money? Just from recording yourself naked…?” “Let’s just put it this way… I saved up enough for first, last, and security on an apartment in Brookline,”

damn she really do be making enough money a Brookline studio is up to 6 grand a month 😭😭

It’s weird at first, but if this is my only shot at making the money I need to stay here, then I’ll try my very hardest to Spielberg this production into something that will have the benjis rolling in at a steady pace.

Honestly, it’s kind of my brand so far. The college student, hesitantly and wantonly exploring himself in his dorm room all alone…

little_ginger_sub7: I want to be an Oreo now. The best kind? Double-stuffed

diponchipzpls: Backwardz_Cap I have a leash, pls walk me like a dog

“Who are you supposed to be?” He grins. “I’m the Secret Service agent who shot JFK by accident.” Jesus Christ…

And I hate to say I told you so, but… Oh, wait. No… I love saying it. I freaking told you so!

“This is already so hot,” Frankie whispers. “Do you mind if I record the build-up for bonus content?”

“He doesn’t want to kiss me, he wants to kill me,” I grunt, brushing strands of hair away from my face. “Okay, well, the line between those two desires is pretty freaking thin, loverboy.”

there’s literally no way Kyran would ever even consider going gay-for-pay.

I’m just blinking at him, bracing myself like it’s that last part of “Pop Goes The Weasel” before the clown jumps out at you.

shudders

“Just do it…” he whispers. “Do what?” My voice comes out equally soft and throaty. “We both know this is where it’s headed, so just…” He stops to swallow. “Just do it.”

“This is just for the fans… right?” His eyes come back to mine, and I nod. “For the fans.”

That was… What the fuck?? That’s what it was. It was what the fuck.

So here I am, wedged snugly between a rock and a gay place.

Duke has been nearly unstoppable this season—nearly being the operative word.

are we talking about the same duke bc the duke I know is not a football school LMFAOOO

Duke has been nearly unstoppable this season—nearly being the operative word.

are we talking about the same team here because Duke is no football school LOLLLLL

We fucking won! “We fucking won.” I let out a breath as Avi grabs my shoulders and shakes me around. “Yea, bitch!” he shouts, and I can’t help but laugh.

He’s a bizarre character… A nerd who’s not good at school. An emo kid who smiles all the time. An artist with more muscle than some of the dudes on my team.

“Do you not want me to?” “No,” I growl. “I don’t.” His head slants, and he blinks knowingly at me. “Then why are you here?”

“Go ahead.” He settles beneath me. “Pretend.”

But the sickest part is that as soon as the words leave his lips, I’m waiting for it. Like it’s my reward for doing well… I want it.

Everything is gone… The uncertainty, the insecurity, the doubt. The terrible, awful pitch-black devastation I’ve lived with for so many years… it feels like it’s all evaporated. Like someone left the window open in my mind, and it all just flew away out into the open air.

“Party? That would require me putting on actual clothes and engaging with humans.” I shake my head. “No, no. Too much effort. Sorry, love.”

I settled on my favorite black boots, ripped black jeans, and a red-and-black flannel button-down. My hair is mussed up, just the way I like it, and my nails are freshly painted, the standard black I always use.

it’s giving 2014 boy band LOVE IT

I push past it and march over to Zeb, demanding another one of his lethal cocktails. I’m gonna need it with Grouchy McAsshole over there glaring at me all night.

I keep watching him, and his eyes creep open, settling on mine once more while his lips move audaciously with Lexi’s.

We get it, you like girls. Who doesn’t??

“Shh… Quiet, beautiful.” “No pet names,” he snarls, though his hands are now on my ass and he’s holding me to him, helping my hips thrust into his. “I’m not your boyfriend.”

subtle foreshadowing

“Do I do it better than her…?”

Trust me, no one pays attention to me at these parties. I’m, like, invisible.” Kyran’s head cocks, and his lips part like he’s going to say something.

“I’m not gonna fuck you for money, Avi,” he growls. My gaze narrows at him. “Who says you’d be fucking me?”

No, peanut butter and jelly is fine. It’s a classic, and everybody loves it. There’s no need to be thinking about grilled fluffer-nutters with banana, or apple brie paninis, or all those other exotic, different sandwiches when the standard, regular ones do exactly what they’re supposed to do.

“You fucking ruined me!” My fingers dig in as his hands fly up, attempting to hold me back. “This is all your fault!”

“Everything! All of it.” I’m smoldering, burning up beneath my clothes as his hands grip my forearms, trying to pry them away from his neck. “We should fuck sometime?? Are you fucking kidding me?!”

“So you’re saying a ride on your dick is like a trip to a day spa?”

“Well, then…” His eyes spring back up to mine, and I didn’t think it was possible, but my cheeks flush ever harder. “Looks like we found our bottom.”

Kyran’s been stressing about taking on the Hokies—dumb team name, but whatever.

“Hammering balls.” He huffs a tiny chuckle. “You’re funny.” I’m literally frozen. I can’t even comprehend the fact that he’s smiling at me, on purpose, and paying me this endearing little compliment.

“Bitches fumbling!” I grab him by the shoulders, shaking him around while he laughs. He shoots me a quick, elated grin before stuffing his helmet back on and jogging over to his guys.

“God, move,” he huffs. “You and your stupid bird suit! Get out of my way!”

Because the next thing I know, my mouth is crashing into his.

IN THE FUCKING BIRD MASCOT COSTUME????