Maestro

by Auden Dar

“Love is a symphony,” my cello teacher, Ms. Luz, said once. “The movements mirror the progression of a love affair. From the opening sonata form, something unexpected hits you. It’s fresh, raw, exhilarating. Full of hope and promise. By the second and third movements, you’re consumed with one another. It’s passionate and heart-wrenching. An emotional rollercoaster preparing us for the fourth movement. The finale, one we anticipate with bated breath, can be glorious or… tragic.”

A symphony is like a love affair. It’s a journey that takes your heart to many places.

Two hearts aren’t musicians waiting for the conductor to direct. Two souls in love don’t cease to l...

You’ll always be mine.

The boy whose soft lips were the first to take mine. The boy I gave all my firsts to. The boy who not only captured my heart but also became a master at breaking it.

“I was thirteen when I met my one and only muse. All my compositions and all the music I perform are inspired by her. She’s in every note, melody, and phrase.”

We deserve the perfect ending to our symphony.

I was never good at anything until I played the cello.

And I wonder if falling in love with someone you can never have is better than not falling in love at all.

“I’d go wherever you are.”

“I always wanted a muse.” He unlocks a soft smile. “I found her in you.”

Chad is like my favorite melody, one I can’t stop thinking of.

ever seen.”

“The most beautiful.”

“That girl is all I see, Aurelia,” Chad says. “The girl with the most expressive eyes I’ve ever seen.

The girl I’ve wanted to kiss since the first time I met her. “I want to be with you all the time,” he

Every piece I play, I want to play with you. Every book I read, I want to read with you.”

Every kiss becomes a note added to a composition. Every touch and caress, every sigh and moan and whispered word, creating a sonata. Then a concerto. Then a symphony. I never want Chad to stop orchestrating the rhythm of my heart.

Be mine for always.

“I can’t wait to be inside you.”

“God, Aurelia, I missed kissing your lips.” Kiss. “I missed the way you’d look at me with those bewitching eyes.” Kiss. “The way you taste everywhere.” Kiss. “I missed all of you.” Kiss. “Every. Single. Inch.”

“I won’t be gentle,” he says, his voice low and hoarse.

“Let me just see you. All of you,” Chad says as he leans over and kisses me through my underwear before taking them off. “So beautiful.” He runs his fingers through the thin strip of hair at my mound. “I hated the thought of other men worshipping you the way I’m about to. But at least I knew none of them would make you feel the way I do. I’m going to fuck you until you know it, too. Until you feel all my hurt and pain.”

“No one will ever love you and worship you the way I do.”

“I’ve been yours all these years.”

“Now I can enjoy you.”

“I can’t wait any longer… I need to be inside you.”

“I love everything about you,” he murmurs, resting his forehead against mine. “You’re so beautiful. So perfect.” He grinds against me, his erection taunting me. “Mine.”

“You’re all I want,” he whispers against my mouth. “Will ever want.”

“I’ve waited for you… for so long.”

tasted you in every drop of liquor. I heard your voice in conversations. I saw you in every woman who walked by. I never want to be without you.” He brushes the hair away from my face. “I love you.”

“I loved you even when we were apart. I’ll still love you regardless of what happens between us. I never want you to feel alone again. I want a permanent residence in your heart.” He places his palm across my chest. “Your heart only, Aurelia.”

After all, I’ve been in love with him since I was thirteen years old.

“I don’t want love to wait for us.” His tone is louder, each word sharpening. “I want it now.”

“I’ll give it all up for you.”

“What we have is inexplicable. Undefinable. Even music would be hard-pressed to express what we have. How much I fucking love you. And that’s what you fucking want? You’re willing to throw it all away?”

I’ll always remember the sparkle.

It’s love. It’s always been love with Chad. And this broken heart is beating again.

It doesn’t mean I can’t taste you on my lips. Hear your voice. Smell that ambrosial scent of yours. You’re in my blood, my veins. You’re still the one pumping this heart of mine.

“You’re still her,” he says. “You’ll always be her. The one I love the most.”

“I don’t want anyone else but you, Aurelia. I’m going to claim a permanent residence in your heart.”

“Here is a blank canvas,” she says with tenderness in her voice. One I’ve never heard before. “Paint the picture of the life you want. And then live it.”

If I’m to love and to be loved, then why am I in front of a man I’d imagined an unimaginable future with? A man who consumes my heart even after his betrayal.

“I saw the man I love marry someone else. Now that I’ve witnessed it, I can go and move on with my life.”

want my child to know the person I love most.”

You forgive, Aurelia. That’s how you move on. You forgive Chad because you love him. It’s what you do when you love someone. You cast your pride aside. You allow all the wonderful memories, his beautiful qualities, all the things you love, to trump his mistakes. Even grave ones. Otherwise, you may lose out on having the most important person in your life. Then your heart will forget how to love.

Chad is the only one who can orchestrate the rhythm of my heart.

“Did you ever consider that maybe our destiny wasn’t about music… that maybe it was as simple as us being together?”

“You are and will always be my great love.”

Heartbreak is an incurable disease. At times, it’s dormant. Quiet. But you know it’s there, taunting as it lingers. Occasional flare-ups that intensify after periods of remission. I’m living with this disease, learning how to manage it. Own it.