Maestro

by Auden Dar

hold on to that echo of our teen selves, falling in love for the first time. Without it, I wouldn’t know what it means to love. Even when it hurts so much, my heart barely beats. Genuine love is unconditional. You want your love to fulfill his dreams and have the best possible life, even if you’re playing a different role in it.

“When you love someone the way I love your father, you love all of him, even with his faults. Even when his actions break your heart, and you feel you can’t go on.”

“How can I go when I’m still missing a part of me?” He rests his forehead against mine. “And that’s you.”

“You’ve been the only woman,” he

“I don’t want to be there when you need me.” He tightens his hold on me. “I want to be here, with you, for everything. I love you.”

“You were amazing.” “I have a confession.” “What is it?” “When I’m onstage, I perform for the audience. But—” He lets out a breath. “I play for you.”

“When I was younger, mastering the twenty-fourth caprice was an obsession of mine.” “I remember.” Can he hear the bitterness in my voice? “It fucked up the most important thing in my life.”

“I was so stupid with ambition. I lost you.”

“But look at where you are now,” I whisper. “You move people with your performances.” “It’s so inconsequential compared to how I feel when I’m with you.” “And how do you feel when you’re with me?” “Warm and fuzzy.”

always feel like I’m at home when I’m with you.” The ache in his voice comes through. “It’s like a level of comfort that can’t be matched anywhere. Or by anyone. I don’t have to be on with you.”

“And after all these years… I still want you in every way.” I want you as well. In every way.

“Aurelia,” he whispers. “Not one minute, not a second goes by when you’re not inside me.”

“I’m trying my best to give you space,” he says. “But it’s fucking impossible when you’re the person I want to share everything with.”

“I’m so proud of you. You’ve become the maestro.”

“But that’s not who I am,” he tells me. “I’m the boy who fell in love with you at thirteen, loves you at thirty-three, and who will love you until his last dying breath.”

My heart drops to my feet when I say, “Please let me go.”

“My greatest performance was hiding a broken heart.”

“I never moved on, Aurelia.” He pauses for a second, considering his words. “I never gave up on us.”

“We’re meant to be. Always have been. Always will be.”

“A day never went by that I didn’t think of you.”

“A day doesn’t go by I don’t love you. When I’m sharing breakfast with Astor, I wonder what it would be like for you to join us. When I’m scrolling through sheet music, I hope you agree with my selections. Even when I’m at the podium, I hear your voice in my head, telling me slow down like we’re making love. “You see, Aurelia, this is the deal. It’s your smile I see every time I close my eyes. I hear your laughter in every melody played.” His eyes are warm and filled with so much love. “It’s been like this for over twenty years and no matter what happens, I’ll continue to love you.”

“I don’t want to ask if love will wait for us.” He raises my hand to his lips. “I’m tired of trying to cope with regret. I don’t want life to pass us by and find us sitting at some event, seats apart, miserable.”

“Love has no time limit.”

“I never let you go, Aurelia. Never. I needed you to discover what I’ve always known.” “Which is?” “We belong together. And no obstacles could ever take away our love.”

“I don’t want to be without you anymore,” I tell her. “I’m not going anywhere without you ever again.” I’ll

“I belong to you and only you.”

I lost my heart when I found Aurelia. When I lost her, I lost myself.

Loss is such a short word, but its effects are tremendous. Time doesn’t heal loss. It only changes it.

“You’ve broken my heart so many times, but this time… Your words… The way you see yourself… It’s shattering what’s left of my heart. I’m losing you—both the boy I loved and the man I’m with now. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I need you to come back to me.”

“Yes, I fell in love with a child prodigy. A virtuoso who astounded me with his musical brilliance. I also fell in love with a boy who believed in me. In us. I fell in love with a man who continued to love me even after I broke his heart. A man who broke his own heart to keep his son. You are and will always be more than a world-renowned violinist and conductor. I’m not asking you to give up music. I’m asking you to see who I see.” Placing my hand on his chest, I appreciate the rise and fall of life. “The man I will always love.

“I’m prepared to lose my career, my music, everything I own,” he says, looking around the room before returning to my face. “But I can’t ever lose you.”

I fell in love again with my first and only love.