Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

by Kim John Payne

Overparenting creates a lot of tension. Our anxiousness about our children makes them, in turn, anxious. Little ones “graze” on our emotions. They feed on the tone we set, the emotional climate we create. They pick up on the ways in which we are nervous and hypervigilant about their safety, and it makes them nervous; so these feelings cycle. Parental anxiety can also slide

Kids are not monks who can meditate for

hours a day, but they do the equivalent when they are involved in play, in deep, uninterrupted play. Some people may take issue with

parents need to take with their child: Start small, stay close, insist, and follow through.

Anything can be made more dependable with repetition and care.

Low self-esteem? Too little sleep is one of the first things I look for. Without sleep we’re reactive, unable to approach new things or changing circumstances with strength and resilience.

The feature documented that 95 percent of missing children are runaways (most of whom come home within three days) and that of the rest, most are child custody disputes.26

the number of kidnappings of children by strangers has not increased for the past twenty years.28 Yet a single incident can seem like a crime wave when it is parsed and sensationalized.

Compared with a generation or two ago, we’re having fewer children, and becoming parents later in life. As a result, our parental attention, mental and physical energy, and our expectations are more concentrated on fewer kids,

values of the corporate world—a work ethic and sense of competition—into their parenting.

Hyperparenting is a large part of the cultural norm today, worldwide. It

Backing Off—Talk Less

Like a dancer who is leading too much, we lose the chance to see how the other person was going to move. After a while, he or she may simply let us carry them along, their little feet never touching the floor. Imagine that your five-year-old

In a noisy world, quiet attentiveness speaks louder than words, and it gives a child more space for their own thoughts and feelings to develop. Talking less is a fundamental way to simplify our involvement with our children.