Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

by Kim John Payne

“The percentage of the population who need less than five hours of sleep per night, rounded to a whole number,” says Roth, “is zero.”

If only we could suspend them in a sort of happiness bubble. But they need conflict. As Helen Keller noted, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.” Children need to find ways to cope with difficult situations; they need to learn that they can.

The most elemental and powerful reason to simplify is this: As your awareness of your children widens and deepens, so too will your love.

When we refute the notion that our child’s development is a race we have to win, and that their imagination is for sale, we step off a consumer treadmill.

Ordinary days are the sustaining notes of daily life. They are the notes that allow high notes to be high and low notes to be low; they provide tone and texture.

And for one person to really get a break, to really let go of a task mentally and physically, the other must do it consistently, with no need for requests or reminders.

My last suggestion for backing off from overinvolvement is a simple one. I’ve seen it make a profound difference, however, in some parents’ attitudes, and the emotional climate of their parenting. It is a meditation, a mental exercise for the end of the day that will take just a minute or two. Before falling into sleep, remember the ordinary moments of the day, the moments with your children that meant something to you. This simple exercise is like a spiritual corrective lens. In your vision of your kids, it helps restore the prominence of “who they are” over “what they need to do” or “what they need to work on.”