Deliberate Calm: How to Learn and Lead in a Volatile World

by Jacqueline Brassey

To be clear, the question is not whether a mindset is right or wrong. The question is whether or not the mindset is serving us. Is it leading to behavior that gets the results we want?

Her role and her circumstances have outgrown her mindset.

We teach a technique called Awareness, Pause, Reframe, and a big part of the awareness piece is developing not only awareness of the self but also awareness and acceptance of the context and the situation. This is how we develop Dual Awareness.

As leaders, we often want to move forward and get to solutions as quickly as possible, but during times of stress it is essential to pause in order to move faster. Slow down to speed up. A real-time pause allows us to decouple from the immediate challenge and the protection state we may enter as a result, engage the parts of our brains that are in charge of executive functioning, and explore new options and ways of responding. The more we do this, the better we are able to interrupt the well-grooved habits that are activated under stress and create space to try on a new lens that allows us to see and respond to the world differently.

To practice this, look straight ahead and sit back in your chair so that you can see the whole room. Then focus on taking in the bigger picture, as far to your left and right as you can see. Huberman recommends spending two to ten minutes a day practicing this panoramic vision to remain in a place of calm.

Asking questions to ourselves or others causes us to slow down, reflect, and engage the executive functioning parts of our brains.7

A few examples of open-ended questions are: •What other possibilities are we not seeing? •What other questions should we consider? •Who can we/I ask for help? •What is the most important thing to focus on right now?

When we feel the need to intervene and take control of the situation, we find it helpful to ask ourselves three questions to determine the best way to respond: 1. Does this absolutely need to be said or done? This takes our attention away from what we want to do and reframes it around what the situation requires. 2. Does it need to be said or done by me? Take a moment to look at the situation strategically. This, too, takes us out of our own emotional response. Some things land differently depending on who says or does them, leading to an entirely different end result. Perhaps this action is better taken by someone else. 3. Does it need to be said or done right now? Often, there is no downside and perhaps a big upside to delaying our reaction until we and the people around us are all operating from a place of calm. If it can wait, let it sit for a bit and create time and space for a little more perspective.

This requires them to get into a virtuous cycle where they are listening to and helping each other.

One of the most powerful yet subtle cognitive biases that we all have is confirmation bias—the tendency to seek, find, and interpret new information in ways that confirm what we already believe. This is greatly amplified when we are in a state of protection. And when we constantly look for confirming evidence of our opinion through the very lens that created it, there is no doubt that we are going to find it.

It is difficult to have learning conversations when our hidden icebergs are colliding in a state of protection. It is possible, however, to interrupt and repair this dynamic through various tactics to improve communication, build trust, and increase shared understanding.

The first part of the story should be about where they came from, starting with a parent or a grandparent and the impact that person had on them. The second part of the story should be about a formative experience from any point in their life that shaped who they are as a person and a leader. This could either be related to the first part of the story or completely separate. The third part of the story should be about one of their traits that often shows up as a leadership strength but perhaps sometimes as a weakness, as well as how that trait connects to the first and/or the second part of the story.

The second rung of the ladder is selective data. As we mentioned earlier, there is far too much data in the world for us to perceive or hold all of it in our minds. This rung of the ladder is based on which data we pay attention to and select and which data we either don’t have access to, don’t notice, or choose to ignore (consciously or unconsciously).

The third rung of the ladder is the meaning we make out of the data we have selected.

The fourth rung on the ladder is the assumptions that we layer onto the meaning we’ve made of the data we’ve selected from our raw observations.

The fifth rung of the ladder is the resulting conclusions that we draw based on everything that lies farther down on the ladder.

The sixth rung of the ladder is the positions and beliefs we adopt as a result of our interpretations and conclusions.

Leaders who practice effective advocacy clearly voice their opinions and proposed solutions with vulnerability and authenticity as they explain the deeper why along their ladder of inference and their hidden iceberg.

When we ask the most senior teams how much of their time they spent in learning and how much in protection, the average answer is that they spend 60 to 70 percent of their time in protection. When they are facing high-stakes adaptive challenges, this percentage increases even further.

Because we stop listening and truly communicating in this state, our wisdom drops below the sum of our parts. Remember that in protection, we are not leveraging the full thinking power of our brains. As the challenge we face becomes more paramount, this decrease in wisdom, creativity, and innovation can become more and more pronounced and pervasive. Ironically, the more important the topic is and the higher the stakes are for failing to collaborate creatively, the more likely we are to shift into a state of protection as a team, often rendering us even less capable of solving the current challenge.

When we feel comfortable asking for help, sharing suggestions informally, or challenging the status quo without fear of negative consequences, our teams are more likely to innovate quickly, unlock the benefits of diversity, and adapt well to change.

In 2012, Google embarked on an initiative with the code name Project Aristotle to study hundreds of teams and find out what led some to succeed more than others. They found that the number one predictor of team performance was psychological safety.5

On teams lacking psychological safety, we feel at risk of being blamed or shamed for our mistakes and sense that it is risky to disagree or admit failures. Of course, this implicit feeling of being under threat leads us to shift into protection and revert to reactive behaviors. In a psychologically safe environment, however, we know that our identities and relationships are safe and secure if we make a mistake and open up about it. This feeling of safety allows us to shift into learning both individually and as a whole, even when under stress and pressure.

1. REFRAME MISTAKES

2. ENCOURAGE ALL VOICES

APPRECIATE CONTRIBUTIONS

To raise team awareness, it is also helpful to begin each team meeting by taking a moment to set an intention and get aligned on the problem we’re trying to solve and the benefit we are trying to create for the company. Connecting to the team purpose, even briefly like this, motivates us to embrace challenges as a positive form of stress.

Just like individuals, teams often have underlying limiting mindsets that can keep them from working together effectively and prevent them from reaching their full potential. Transforming the way teams interact and collaborate requires a fundamental shift in these mindsets.

As a reminder, here are the seven protection and learning mindset pairs: •Fixed or Growth Mindset •Expert or Curious Mindset •Reactive or Creative Mindset •Victim or Agent Mindset •Scarcity or Abundance Mindset •Certainty or Exploration Mindset •Safeguard or Opportunity Mindset

My purpose guides the decisions I make—never, rarely, sometimes, often, always. •I search for meaning and purpose in key moments of my life—never, rarely, sometimes, often, always. •I try to find meaning and purpose in everyday experiences—never, rarely, sometimes, often, always. •I search for experiences that are significant to me—never, rarely, sometimes, often, always. •I refer to my values, or what matters to me, to help make decisions—never, rarely, sometimes, often, always. •My purpose influences my decision-making process—never, rarely, sometimes, often, always. •I am able to work toward my purpose at my current organization—never, rarely, sometimes, often, always.