Found in a Bookshop

by Stephanie Butland

although she’s not sure you can welcome anyone to somewhere that’s actually closed.

Their movement is not quite a dance, but it’s harmony.

To a book lover, a bookshop is not a place in the world, but a world in itself.

You know that books are safety and escape and wisdom and peace and the things that get you through.

breaking your heart with someone else’s loss so you can better bear your own, or making you laugh when there is nothing funny in your life, or making you afraid so that real life seems less fearful.

But not if the bookshop door is closed. Not if you are trying to explain, over the phone, what it is you need when what you need is for the bookshop to invite you in and let you know it’s okay to wander, to touch, to mull. Not if you don’t know what you need, especially when the ache for a new book feels both trivial and privileged: when, if what to read is your only worry, then you shouldn’t be worried at all. Not if it seems that the whole world is lost for words.

Come on, Rosemary. Don’t get soft now. You’ve no need to feel sorry for yourself. You’ve already had more than some people will ever get.

He puts his bag down next to a chair that seems unoccupied and hopes no one will notice him. He isn’t sure his voice will work if he tries to speak. Not a good start to his teaching career. And then Rosemary walks in.

instantly and fully

He’s never seen anyone so precisely themselves.

because he cannot balance small talk with the overwhelming feeling of rightness that comes over him when Rosemary is there.

He’s always true to his word.

Oh, that ‘love’. She would put it in her pocket if she could. It’s hard to remember how life was, before Craig.

It’s only been a few hours since they entered a place where they are not yet certain they are safe.

She doesn’t want any woman who comes here to think she is safe only for as long as a two-shower bottle of body wash lasts.

but most mothers arrive with the things that their children need to be comfortable, even if they themselves have nothing.

In a frightened state, familiarity can matter more than safety.

Carmen knows from experience that most of the women here are patient with each other, and can find it easier to be kind to others than to themselves.

She knew she would never be able to make a bookshop that was better than the one that had gone before, because that could never be.