Solitaire

by Alice Oseman

“And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody.” “And yours,” he replied with a smile, “is willfully to misunderstand them.” —JANE AUSTEN, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

I continue to stare at myself in this mirror and I imagine a voice reminding me to be funny and chatty and happy, like a normal person. As the voice reminds me, I start to feel a bit more positive about stuff,

recall this feeling all too well

“This track is impossible, bro.”

I just can't picture British people talking like this

diet lemonade.

???

“Is lemonade still your favorite?” “Er …” I look down at the Sprite can, not quite sure what to make of it. I do not point out that Sprite is not real lemonade or diet.

this is becoming a point of contention for me - I am now royally confused.

diet lemonade.

oh my god they're talking about sprite zero.

He pulls out Moulin Rouge

this is Oseman's Easter egg and I love it

Normally, when I’m trying to sleep, I do all these silly things like I roll over and imagine that I’m sleeping next to someone and I reach out and caress their hair. Or I clasp my hands together and after a little while I start thinking it’s somebody else’s hand I’m holding, not my own.

Nick gets here and hugs Charlie immediately, the two of them mumbling apologies to each other for whatever argument they’d had.

i hate this

I put the phone down, pour a glass of diet lemonade,

i need girlie pop to drink water.

DO I DARE DISTURB THE UNIVERSE?

“Happiness,” he says, “is the price of profound thought.”

“Extraordinary is only an extension of ordinary,” he says.

“Take one step towards that plastic bag, bitch, and I’m calling the po-po.”

i'm rolling my eyes