Happenstance

by Tessa Bailey

“I don’t want or need your body warmth.” “That’s a shame.” He drags his full bottom lip through his teeth. “I’d love to give it to you.” I’ve seen what he wants to give me. Many times. It’s very photogenic. “Not interested.” “Liar.” His lips twitch. “Tell me which scene lives in your head rent free. The one where I play a male escort? Fan favorite, that one.”

“Actually, the ones you did with two women were always the best,” I say, batting my eyelashes. “Your mouth was too busy to do much talking.”

“The real anyone is usually a disappointment.” “What are you more afraid of? Being disappointed? Or doing the disappointing?”

My erogenous zones are well acquainted with this man—his chiseled face and deep, promissory voice—and they’ve fired up at his nearness, forcing me to press my knees together in an attempt to quell a spreading ache. He notices. His chest rises and falls with a curse. But I don’t expect him to look pained over my embarrassing, telltale move.

“Good girl. Now kiss him,” Tobias rasps, framing my jaw in his hand and turning me toward Banks. “Kiss him while my hand is up your fucking skirt.”

“What are you going to do to her?” Gabe asks again, his lap making contact with my bottom, lifting me onto my toes. “Me?” Tobias winds the sides of my skirt in his hands, dragging the material up my thighs, landing my now-bare bottom in Gabe’s lap. “I’ll tend to the pussy, of course.” He starts to kneel—

I’m kissing one of them, another is fondling my breasts and I have no idea what the third man is about to do, but I’m pretty sure I’ve seen him do it before on the screen of my phone while turning up the speed setting on my vibrator.

“I can’t believe she asked me out,” Gabe says, staring after the cab. A forlorn giant. “That beautiful girl asked me out.”

We simultaneously look at Tobias. “I’m the ultimate novelty. I’ll get in.” He huffs a laugh. “Coincidentally, I’m a novelty because I always get in.”

“Goodbye,” I call on my way toward the door, phone in hand. Is it my imagination or do they all seem to sniff me as I pass?

E: Take a picture of what’s in front of you, Banks. No cheating. Me: Nope. I have half a brain, so there isn’t a chance in hell I’m sending you a picture of two dozen sweaty rugby players. E: I had no idea you were so selfish.

E: I heard you gave my number up for meatballs.

E: You’re my favorite, Gabe. Despite your thievery.

E: See you tonight, Gabe. Me: I’ll be seeing you pretty much all day, every time I blink. E: #Favorite.

E: I told you. You’re capable of more than you think, Gabe. Remember that.

Elise: Gabe only changed one number, didn’t he?

Pleasure from men is not something I actively seek out. I can do it myself, thank you very much.

“I hope they are enjoying their last moments on earth right now, because tonight I’m going to kill them.”

And now I’m standing here with an eggplant. Shayna gestures to the purple vegetable, also known as the universal symbol for dick,

Quickly, I toss the eggplant into my bedroom where it bounces twice on the bed, before coming to a rest on my pillow, no doubt leaving the world’s biggest dick print. Tobias would be delighted.

A shy giant who steals personal possessions and is ready to throw down for the chance to taste me first. He’s more than meets the eye. A lot more.

“Are your brother and Candace already inside?” I ask quietly.

She rotates her lower body again and I hold my breath, ordering my balls to play it cool, but how am I supposed to do that when the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met is grinding on me, choosing me, bringing me back to life after being numb for so long?

In that moment, I know with total certainty that I’m going to be obsessed with Elise Brandeis as long as I live.

“She’s a little nervous. And a lot excited.”

“That’s what makes a good girl tight and wet at the same time, isn’t it?”

Now you’re the Goldilocks of penises? Get your life together.

“I’m going to enjoy the fuck out of making you come on my dick while they watch,”

I wind even tighter when Tobias leans in and whispers against my lips. “You might be safe with me, but you’re not safe from me, Elise. Enjoy the reprieve.”

“She likes it rough,” Gabe pants. “Then that’s what she gets,” Tobias says hoarsely. “We’ll wear our good girl out every fucking time, won’t we?”

“Yesterday, you got three gifts in the mail. Sauteed that eggplant last night with some garlic, by the way. Very tasty.”

I like them all. For different reasons. Where could this kind of situation possibly lead?” “Nowhere but a mess.” “Exactly,” I say, strangely feeling a little disloyal. “It would be fun getting there, though,” Shayna sighs. “The road to hell is paved with gold.” We both sit there quietly for a minute, staring into space. Shayna breaks the silence when she says, “Yup. I’d turn straight down that road.”

“The Flare, you mean? No. You are lying. I got dragged to a game last year by one of my friends. He is a contender, Elise. All ruthless and sexy, prowling the sidelines. Did you at least sleep with him?” “Oh yeah,” I say on an exhale. “Affirmative.” “Yeah, I bet he was firm.”

“Keep your pants on.” Tobias’s voice fills the apartment. “First time I’ve heard that.”

Shayna gives a dazed laugh. “What do you think they want?” “More time together, probably,” I bite off in disgust that is directed mostly at myself because the pulse of anticipation is gro...

“Who is the third member of this dream team fuck po...

“So. A porn star, a locally famous rugby coach and a construction worker. I don’t feel bad about eating your eggplant anymore.” “Fair enough. I’ve got all the eggplant I can handle.”

“Wow,” I say, biting hard on my bottom lip. “I would ask if you boys all woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but someone had to be in the middle.”

“Does it look like the Tram Fam is in the mood for comedy?” My expression is a mockery of seriousness. “No, it doesn’t.” “Good.” He crosses his arms. “Because we’re not.”

“Hi, I’m Shayna. Elise’s roommate.” Tobias transforms in a split-second from scorned lover to charming devil. “Hello, Shayna.” He captures her hand and brings it to his mouth, kissing her knuckles. “My reputation precedes me, I see.”

“You’re staring at my zipper, dear.” My roommate snatches her hand back, laughing nervously. “Oh God. Sorry.” “Don’t be,” he responds smoothly, giving me a pointed look. “At least someone is interested in this award-winning co—” “Now is not the time, Tobias,” Banks interrupts, sharply.

“I called about the prison theme,” he says curtly. “This is who you were talking to on the phone in the cab?” Tobias asks. “I just assumed you were into some weird kink.”

“This is kidnapping,” I say through my teeth. “For the record, I didn’t know about this,” Tobias says, turning in a circle with a chuffed expression. “But I fully support it.” Gabe is still visibly piecing together what is going on. “I didn’t know, either…” “One of you would have given it away.”

Relationships are messy and annoying and time-consuming. You’re asking me to do this to the power of three. I’d have to be a masochist.” “Is that really all it is?” Tobias raises an eyebrow. “You think we’d be annoying?” “You just locked me in an escape room!”

“I think Banks is the smart one,” Gabe muses.

“That’s not going to work. I’m going to get too…” “Attached,” Banks finishes for me. I press my trembling lips into a straight line. “That was my ulterior motive,” Gabe says quietly. “Getting you as attached as we are.” “Gabe, you’re secretly kind of diabolical.”

“The truth is, we all have our shit, Elise. We’re all carrying baggage around.” Banks is speaking. “Maybe I’m crazy, but the shit doesn’t feel as heavy when we’re together.”

I actually forgot I was carrying mine last night.” A frown line appears between Tobias’s brows. “To say that’s unusual would be an understatement.”

I’d love to close my eyes and let them feed me pleasure, feel their hands raking over every inch of my skin, their mouths sampling me like it’s going to be the last time.

“Did you think you were going to get away with locking me in an escape room? Against my will? To discuss my feelings? Uh-uh. No.”