Happenstance

by Tessa Bailey

Tobias: To answer your original question, I’m obviously in my penthouse, standing in front of a floor-to-ceiling window in silk boxers, staring broodily out at the city lights… Banks: A tripod set up to capture the moment, otherwise it didn’t happen, right? Tobias: The shorts are so brief, my cock looks like it could tumble out at any moment. Gabe: Porno Bruce Wayne. Banks: Christ. Tobias: YES. Waiting for Elise’s bat signal. Is this it? Are we fucking, Fam? Elise: I instantly regret this group chat. Tobias: Ah, but you’re distracted now, aren’t you, love?

Gabe: I don’t like Elise having a rough day at work. Banks: No, me either. Tobias: Who made it rough? I’m a lover, not a fighter, but I can make an exception. Banks: Can one even fight in silk boxers? Tobias: Yes, as long as no one minds my tumbled out cock. Spoiler: no one ever does.

Gabe: Maybe we could just steal something from whoever made you have a bad day. Banks: Way to ignore my advice. Elise: GABE! No stealing!

Elise, do you like me yet? Have we made progress? Tobias: Because I think of nothing but ripping your fucking panties off.

Elise: These panties? Gabe: Fuck. Banks: FUCK. Tobias: Yes. Those ones. I can feel them in my hands right now. Elise: Too bad I don’t like you yet. Tobias: Strongly considering ditching that requirement. Banks: Strongly considering showing up outside your door. Tobias: Curious about the silk boxers, mate? Banks: I’m talking to Elise, bonehead.

Where did Gabe go? Banks: You don’t know your own power, Elise. Elise: Meaning? Tobias: Meaning, old Gabe is likely having a wank to your dirty little picture. Gabe: I’m back. Tobias: Good God, man! Google the word “stamina.” Elise: We’ll work on it together, Gabe.

For that, Elise will