Nanny for the Neighbors

by Lily Gold

Jack Insley is even more stunning than I remember. High cheekbones, square jaw, and electric-blue eyes shining at me from behind a pair of dark-rimmed glasses. His blonde hair is spiky from him running his fingers through it, and he’s wearing a pair of Converse with Pacman printed on the side. The whole effect is very geek chic.

“I know this looks like some kind of set-up, but I swear I’m not hitting on you. I really do need your help.” Shame. “Sure,”

Without even thinking, my feet cross the room towards her. Oh, she is gorgeous. Brown skin, thick black hair, and huge eyes with long lashes. Her cheeks are puffy with baby fat, and they’re all pink from screaming.

I reach into the car seat and pick her up. It’s been over a year since I held a baby. She’s so soft and small in my arms I could cry. “Aw, honey. You don’t feel so happy, huh?” I rub my cheek against hers. “What’s up, sweetheart?” She looks up at me, anguished, and covers her face with her tiny hands. “I’m not sure she’ll tell you,” the dark-haired man drawls. “She’s not been very chatty so far.”

I wipe her cheeks dry. She snuggles angrily into my chest, hiccuping. “She’s fine,” I tell the guys. “She just needed a cuddle.” No one says anything. I look up. All three men are staring at me, their eyes wide. I blink. “What?” “She’s a witch,” Cyrus says faintly. “What the hell. She’s been crying for about six hours straight. Are you saying all we had to do is pick her up?”

“She’s a baby,” he says. “We thought they just cry when they need food, or sleep, or a new nappy. But we tried all of that, and it didn’t work.” “They’re not Tamagotchis,” I say reproachfully. “You don’t just feed them and clean their poop and then ignore them until they die.” Cami sputters, pouting, and I press a kiss to her hair.

see, we actually all slept with her simultaneously.” He pauses. “Many, many times.” “You’re serious?” All three men nod. Jack’s face gives it away; he’s blushing fire-engine red. “It’s something we do,” he admits. “Every so often.”

“And you want this baby? If she turns out to be yours, you’ll take care of her?” My eyes flick between their faces. They all nod solemnly.

“Please don’t take her away,” Jack says quietly.

It’s ridiculous. I’m twenty-nine, for God’s sake. I’m too old to have such a strong, all-consuming crush. Especially since I’m pretty sure that she has a boyfriend.

Cy agrees. “We have a baby, and our neighbor is fit.” He jabs a finger at me. “And he knew, and didn’t tell me. What the hell, man?”

“I don’t fancy her,” I protest. “Say her name without blushing.” I open my mouth, then snap it shut again.

Cami bawls as I untape her nappy. “It’s okay,” I tell her, in what I hope is a soothing voice. “I know you’re having a really bad day. But you’re safe, now. We’re gonna take care of you. Okay?” I turn and grab the box of nappies that Cy bought earlier. They all have animals printed on the front. “Which one do you want?” I hold them up for her to see. “Lion or koala?” Cami roars.

I’m not wearing a bra. You can see my nips clear as day through the tissue-thin white fabric. I just followed Jack back to his flat with my headlights blaring.

“I’ve got a lot on my plate.” “You’re about to have a lot more, if Cami is yours.” I can’t see his face, but I can hear his voice soften like he’s smiling. “Yeah. I guess so. That’s a good problem, though.”

Beth seems far too soft-spoken and sweet for a one-night stand. She has a wholesome, apple-pie, girl-next-door vibe that makes my mouth water.

I sit up, alarm running through me. “Beth.” “Hm?” “Why is that kid crying? What the hell are they doing to it?”

“Do you think she’ll like it?” “Only one way to find out.” He kneels down next to the carrier, stroking Cami’s face. “I got you a present, ladybug,” he says quietly, nestling the rabbit in next to her.

“You seem attached,” I note. “What’s not to get attached to? She’s the cutest kid I’ve ever seen.” He tweaks one of her pigtails, and she beams up at him, spitting applesauce down her chin. “Very ladylike,” he praises, wiping off her mouth.

My baby. She’s my baby. And her mother left her on a damn doorstep.

Anisha didn’t let me see the birth. She didn’t tell me she was pregnant. She left my daughter in the cold, on a doorstep, with a packet of oversized nappies and a cheap car seat. The past half a year, I’ve been going about my business, not knowing that I’ve got a child. I shake my head, panic rising. I can’t have a child. I can’t even touch Cami without her crying, for God’s sake.

I tried to pick her up and hold her. She screamed like I’d hurt her. It scared me so much I pu...

This is how I like to keep things. Orderly. Clean. Tidy. When your external environment is controlled, it’s much easier to control your internal one. And I need to keep myself under control. When I don’t, people get hurt. A memory flashes through my head. Anger flooding through me, consuming me. My fist smashing through someone’s face. My mother’s shrill voice, screaming.

I brace myself against my desk, my breath coming hard. I can’t think about that. I need to calm down. I can’t be angry. Not around this child. I’ll hurt her.

“I’ve got a daughter,” I rasp, irritation flashing through me. “I can’t just go to bed.” “Sure you can,” Jack says. “You’re no use to her like this. I’ll keep an eye on her.” I shake my head. I can’t sleep. I have to watch her. Make sure that she’s okay.

It may have taken me almost three hours, but I did it. And now Cami is clean, dressed in her very last babygrow, and strapped happily to my chest, kicking her little legs like a frog. I squeeze her foot as I hear the bolt unlock, and Beth opens her door.

“That’s BS. I’m not dressing my ki… uh, a kid in these.” I move down the aisle, examining the other graphic shirts. I’m a Future Boss for the boys, and I’m Cute for the girls. I’m A Superhero for the boys, and Born to Be Spoiled for the girls. I look down at Cami. “I’m glad you can’t read.”

got pretty jealous when I saw her snuggling up to Cyrus’s bunny last night.

spot a toy lion wedged right at the back of the shelf and pull it out, examining it. It’s squishy and soft, with a fluffy yellow mane. I hand it to Cami. “What do you think? Strong and brave, just like you.”

“I’m running behind. But call me, okay? Love you.” “Aww, thanks.” He narrows his eyes. “I love you,” he repeats pointedly. “You’re my number one guy.” “I love you so much,” he insists. “Couldn’t survive without you.” He groans. “One of these days, I’ll make you say it.”

Jack’s hand shoots out and wraps around my wrist, keeping me in place. “I have a crush on you,” he blurts out.

She reaches for the blocks, flopping over in my lap. She loved playing with them the other day. We built a whole city, and then I held her up while she stomped through it, sending all of the soft cubes flying like some kind of baby Godzilla.

God, no wonder parents are exhausted all the time. Are they just permanently terrified something will happen to their kids? We

get the feeling that she’s not used to people taking care of her. She deserves it, after spending the last week taking care of us. Don’t you think?”

Beth looks up at me, her brown eyes gleaming like cinnamon under the soft lights. I don’t think I’ve ever met a natural redhead with brown eyes before. It’s a surprisingly striking combination: spicy and fiery and warm.

“Truth or dare,” Jack offers, winding some spaghetti around his fork. Beth perks up a little. “Okay.” She glances between us. “But this is kinda unfair. You’re both just gonna grill me. I’ll get twice as many questions.” “We’ll take turns,” Jack offers, and she nods. “I’ll start,” I decide. “Have you ever fantasised about fucking two guys at once?”

He grimaces. “God. I’m way out of their leagues.” “Hey,” Jack says mildly. “Mate, no offence, but dressing like an extra off The Big Bang Theory isn’t exactly doing you any favours. Buy a tailored suit and I’ll think about it.”

“Either way, I’m sticking with my question. I don’t want to know about your sex life. I wanna know about you.”

Cyrus throws up his hands in exasperation. “Why do neither of you understand that Truth or Dare is basically just foreplay?” he complains. “It’s an excuse to talk about what turns you on, and gradually remove items of clothing. That’s why it was invented.”

“He’s reading her a story,” he says, looking amused. “Seriously?” “Well. It’s a chapter from a textbook about international copyright law. I’ve told him he has to at least do funny voices to keep her interested, but he refuses.”

Henry Cavill.”

I stare down at Cami. She’s dressed in a little pink babygrow with a sheep on it. As I watch, she stirs sleepily, opening and closing her mouth like a little guppy fish.

Jesus, the man has arms.” “Most men do, Benny. Is that your only requirement?” “And he’s nice,” he practically moans. “Do you know how hard it is to find a nice, hot man?” “Uh, yeah?” “Piss off. You just had a three-way.”

“What kind of underwear are you wearing?” “I… um, what?” His hand slides up the curve of my hip, squeezing my waist. “I plan on chucking you around a bit. Don’t want you flashing any of the audience. That’s my job.” Through the fabric of my tight dress, he finds the wispy lace of my thong, running his fingers over it like he’s checking that it’s really there. He tuts. “These feel pretty flimsy. I guess I’ll have to improvise.”

“C’mon, Bethie,” he says, right in my ear. “I’ll take care of you.” And then he tosses me over his shoulder. I gasp as the bright lights of the club whirl around me.

He foists me up, hooking my thighs around his head, and I’m brought face-to-face with the bulge in his pants. My legs squeeze around his throat, and he groans. I feel his hot breath on the inside of my thighs, and shock pounds through me. There’s no way. Right? “Cy—” I start. He buries his face into my wet, throbbing sex, and proceeds to eat me out ferociously.

It’s like a standing 69—except there is absolutely no way I have the core strength to suck him off while hanging upside down like Spiderman. Not that he seems bothered. He’s fully occupied where he is.

Without another word, he picks me up again, tossing me over his shoulder and carrying me into his bedroom, where he proceeds to show me some more of his special, secret moves. And now that we don’t have to worry about some poor cleaning lady, he has no qualms about coming on my face.

I groan, rolling over as the two warm bodies I’m sandwiched between start to shift. I frown. Two? That’s not right, is it? I distinctly remember only sleeping with one man last night.

“Do you want to be a father to her?” He nods slowly. “Then learn.