The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness

by Robert Waldinger

If we find ourselves feeling lonely at work, it may be up to us to create opportunities for social connection to the extent that we can.

However, loneliness at work does not afflict only those who work in solitary jobs. Even busy people with extremely social jobs can feel incredibly lonely if they don’t have meaningful connections with their coworkers and colleagues.

In fact, the opposite is true. Research has shown that people who have a best friend at work are more engaged than those who don’t. The effect is especially pronounced for women, who are twice as likely to be engaged in their jobs if they “strongly agree” that they have a best friend at work.

One of the most valuable types of relationships at work is also one that comes with a power imbalance: that of mentor and mentee.

If we want to take full advantage of the hours of our lives—many of which are spent at work—we

we must remember that work is a major source of socializing and connection. Change the nature of work, and you change the nature of life.

Work, too, is life.

Friendships that were central during young adulthood may wither away in the early years of a marriage or when children are born, but then go through a resurgence during a difficult period in a marriage, or after the death of a loved one.

Having friends, having a group that we belong to, has always made survival in dangerous environments more likely, and friends also protect our health in stressful modern environments. No matter how strong we are, how independent we are, how self-sufficient we are, we are still biologically tuned for friendship.

Friendships are some of the easiest relationships to neglect.

Part of what makes friendships

wonderful is also what makes them fleeting: they are voluntary.

But many of the most significant findings, naturally, came after the participants had already lived much of their lives. So they didn’t have the benefit of the research we’ve presented at the times when it would have helped them most.

Good relationships keep us happier, healthier, and help us live longer.