How Not to Drown in a Glass of Water

by Angie Cruz

We step in the shit on purpose so we’re forced to buy new shoes. You know what I’m saying?

I don’t need people saying to me that everything will be OK. Of course I’ll be OK. What other choice do I have?

Let me give you some advice, fall for the man who loves you more than you love him.

Ay, now it’s me that is too serious. This is why I prefer not to talk, because if you don’t talk, it is more easy to forget the things of life.

You know what? That little pill emptied me. For one day I didn’t think about my son Fernando. All my suffering, erased. It was the devil, I tell you. I threw them in the garbage.

That’s what therapists make you do. They make you spit on your mother. Everything is the mother’s fault.

Sorry! Sorry! I was saying, because I couldn’t gather my things, which is something not normal for a Capricorn. Capricorns are solid like a tree. But I was so lost without Fernando.

You never heard that word? You said you’re dominicana. You don’t understand Spanish? Oh, just a little. OK. Desahogar: to undrown, to cry until you don’t need to cry no more.

When Ángela saw me cry, my sister said, You’re drowning in a glass of water. I tell you, Ángela is cold. But cold! Pfft! She has no feelings for me. Not Lulú. She understood that I had to cry until I undrowned from the inside.

When I went to dance, I forgot my life.

When you need each other to survive, you forgive. That’s the way it is.

She must have been a great woman. Capricorn is the best sign. We are loyal and we never give up, I said. You can tell that to Fernando.

But Lulú exploded, her mouth shoot words like a machine gun: ¡pa pa pa pa pa pa pa! With every word he step back and back and back, because Lulú is Leo with Aries rising: fuego-fuego, with the big orange hair, she scare people.

To be a mother is to suffer.

Women know even the things we don’t see. Yes or no?

And now the area has the white people bar, and the white people gourmet bodega, and the $15 white people personal pizza, not even for a family. Fifteen dollars for one person!

If you try to fix something that somebody do not want to fix they will hate you for it. To offer help is OK. To push, no.

One or two drinks, fine. But when a person has too much, they only think about themselves—so selfish!

With all the shit of life, it was nice to be the tourist.

You know how the Americans are. They wait forever to have a baby and then have to fight like the devil to make it.

Sometimes life feels very small and other times it feels very rich. And when it feels small I think it’s because I don’t let myself, you know, enjoy the life.

we must not wait to live the life we want. Find a way to be present with the people you love.

Freedom is being able to live your truth without having to apologize for it.

Now you understand why I couldn’t come to the last session. I felt like the boy in the painting who got the fruit and the branches, but I must be careful to want too much in this life. This is the lesson. We must appreciate what we have.