And then an absence announced itself when I heard “Dreaming” by Blondie: shadows were standing next to the pool and one of them was wearing the same puka-shell necklace Matt Kellner wore and I realized again that Matt had been alive and now he was dead, as if in a dream that had dematerialized, and I was homing in on the pool, the bright square of light in the backyard, and I kept staring deeper into it until I located the drain and I imagined the swirl above the drain filtering the pool, and a vortex appeared in my mind, and it was the spiral nautical shell on the cover of my calculus
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