Happy Place

by Emily Henry

how quickly he’d become the foremost need in my personal Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

His hands are careful on my jaw, his lips soft on mine, his tongue skimming into my mouth almost tentatively until I can barely take any more gentleness, any more restraint. I’m tired of him holding back any piece of himself.

“Love means constantly saying you’re sorry, and then doing better.”

“I feel so selfish even talking about this,” I admit. “Like everything they did for me doesn’t even matter.” “It’s not selfish to want to be happy, Harriet.” “When I could be a surgeon instead?” I say. “Yeah, Wyn, I think it might be selfish.” “Fuck that,” he says. “A

“But that’s the point. Your job doesn’t have to be your identity. It can just be a place you go, that doesn’t define you or make you miserable. You deserve to be happy, Harriet.”

“For Sabrina and me, it’s different. In our families, there was no coming back from fights. Her dad would rather divorce than apologize, and in my house, arguments always ended with everyone leaving. Things never got resolved; they calloused over.” “What are you saying?” Parth asks. “Sabrina didn’t run because she doesn’t want you,” I say. “She ran because she’s scared that, in the end, she won’t be worth chasing.”

This is how I used to think of love. As something so delicate it couldn’t be caught without being snuffed out. Now I know better. I know the flame may gutter and flare with the wind, but it will always be there.

“I love you,” he says into my mouth, and I wish I could swallow it, like that would let me keep that sound forever, this moment forever. My nose burns. My voice crackles. “Don’t say that.” “Why not?” he whispers. “Because,” I say, “those words don’t belong to me anymore.” “Of course they do,” he says. “They belonged to you before I ever saw you. They belong to you in every universe we’re in, Harriet.”

He’s afraid. He still doesn’t trust that I can love him forever. Some part of him is waiting for me to choose something else. Believes that if I were given every option, he wouldn’t be my pick. He might think he’s protecting me, but he’s protecting himself too.