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The friction created when the clitoral hood rubs against the head is a powerful source of stimulation and pleasure. The hood also protects the head from overstimulation; just prior to the release of orgasm, it’s into the folds of the hood that the head seeks refuge.
CUNNILINGUS MAY BE a casual activity, but that doesn’t mean you should treat it casually. Make sure that it’s part of your safe-sex routine. If you’re engaging a new partner, communicate openly and candidly. Be prepared to discuss your current sex partners, sexual history, risky behaviors, STD status, recent activities, and your approach to protection.
•Going down on her turns you on; you enjoy it as much as she does. •There’s no rush; she has all the time in the world. You want to savor every moment. •Her scent is provocative, her taste powerful: it all emanates from the same beautiful essence.
During foreplay avoid direct contact with her genitals for a minimum of ten to fifteen minutes. Stimulate other parts of her body; let the oxytocin wash over her and pervade her bloodstream. Save the genital kiss for last, as the first kiss upon the vulva is the threshold between foreplay and coreplay.
Breathing, on the other hand, is an oft-neglected indicator. As she gets more aroused, look for the commensurate changes in her breathing, and tightening of the abdominal muscles.
Candles: Men and women differ when it comes to their attitudes about doing it with the lights on. Like Hemingway, men often enjoy “a clean, well-lighted place” in which to practice and observe their craft, whereas women seem to prefer the cover of dark. Compromise with candlelight.
Hair, pubic: When it comes to hair care, guys care. Some men love it and can’t get enough of it; all they want to do is rub their noses in it and take in the full aroma of a woman’s scent.
According to the teachings of Tantra, a woman’s upper lip is considered one of the most erogenous areas on her body because of a special nerve that connects it to the clitoris, and is said to channel erotic energy. Like language itself, there is virtually no emotion that cannot be expressed with a kiss.
Masturbation: Sex researchers Masters and Johnson gathered much of their information about female sexual response by watching women masturbate. Take note: they consistently observed that women focused their manual
stimulation on the clitoral head, as well as the shaft, mons pubis, and inner and outer labia. Because of the heightened sensitivity of the head, most women stimulated it at the peak of arousal, and avoided direct contact immediately subsequent to orgasm.
Music: Use it to enhance the mood, not kill it. Find music that lulls you both into a deeper zone of letting go, music that helps you synchronize yourselves into a mutual sense of rhythm and pacing. The right choice can really stimulate the senses; the wrong choice can shut them down.
Orgasms, multiple: Oftentimes a woman will experience an orgasm during foreplay, particularly if ample stimulation has been effectively applied. While all women have the innate biological capacity for multiple orgasms,
Press your thumb against her clitoral head and gently flick it from side to side as you penetrate her with short shallow thrusts. Or press the shaft of your penis against her clitoris and then gently thrust between the folds of her labia without ever entering her. Or she can perform Kegels (the squeezing of her pelvic muscles) while you, ever so slowly, penetrate her. Really take the time to feel her pelvic muscles contract against your penis as you slowly withdraw.
All three of these positions—69’ing, SOMF, and Up Against the Wall—are useful in that they provide erotic stimulation and often heighten the drama of the moment.
She should start flat on her back, legs spread comfortably apart, but not too far (six to nine inches at most) and a bit bent at the knee. As a rule, her legs should always be closer together than farther apart, as she needs the full command of her pelvic muscles. She should be completely at ease and relaxed: able to focus on the pleasure she’s receiving without any distraction—physical or mental.
Pay attention to the arch of her back. Once again, we get the idea from porn that when a woman is turned on she
• A pillow propped under her butt will help with blood flow to the pelvic region, as well as provide you with better access to her genitalia, making it easier for you to connect “lips” and alleviate stress to your neck.
• Place a pillow beneath your forearms and get your “working hands” as comfortable and close as possible to her vulva.
Position yourself vertically from her vagina. Other than the narrow flaring of her legs, your bodies, taken together, should form a straight line.
You need to get your whole face in there. Your nose should be buried lightly in her mound, with your upper lip and mustache area resting firmly against the front edge of her pubic bone. You should be able to easily use your upper lip and gum to provide light pressure against her front commissure, the area just above the clitoral head where her outer lips meet.
As for your tongue, it should easily be able to rest against her vaginal entrance and cover its entire expanse from top to bottom. This position enables you to apply a full range of motion with your tongue: from long vigorous licks to deft persistent flicks, from keeping it flat and still to applying focused tongue-tip pressure.
All in all, you should be completely involved with her vulva; on top of it, buried in it: face, mouth, nose, gums, teeth, and tongue—all of which will be employed one way or another. If a filmmaker were capturing the event, very little would be seen beyond the still back of your head. Certainly, there would be few, if any, flashes of tongue.
Both the clitoral head and its protective hood respond to gentle, rhythmic tongue strokes as well as firmer pressure once she’s well into the process of arousal.
Massaging the mons pubis with the base of your palm stimulates the clitoral cluster from above.
Like the clitoral head, the front commissure/ shaft responds at first to tongue strokes, but, once aroused, craves the firmer pressure of the upper lip and gum, or a fingertip massage.
Labia minora (external), also known as the little lips or the inner lips, they swell to nearly double their size when engorged with blood during arousal and respond best to tongue strokes, gentle nibbles, and playful fingertip pinches.
Vaginal entrance (external) contains the remnants of the hymen and, when amply aroused and lubricated, responds best to slow, long licks and gentle fingertip tickles.
Fourchette (external) is the area located at the base of the vaginal entrance where the bottoms of the labia minora converge, and responds best to tongue strokes and gentle fingertip tickles that just graze the vaginal entrance.
Perineum (external) is the expanse of skin between the fourchette and anus and is filled with spongy erectile tissue that connects the anus to the clitoral network and lines the base of the vagina. This area responds well to tongue strokes, fingertip pressure, and fingertip squeezes (thumb and index finger) that stimulate it from both sides (internal and external).
Anus (external). Lined with tissue and muscle that connects it to the clitoral network,
the anus participates in the process of sexual response and, like the pelvic muscles, contracts repeatedly during orgasm. This area responds well to fingertip pressure, fingertip insertion, and tongue strokes, but also contains bacteria that should be prevented from commingling with other parts of the vulva.
Run your fingers gently through her pubic hair. • Be sure to tease her amply. Kiss her softly on the inner thigh, as well as the smooth skin adjoining her vulva. Kiss her with little, succulent smacks (lips pursed, no tongue) on her inner and outer lips, or even on the top of the head.
Breathe hotly on her vulva. • Blow, ever so gently, on her clitoral head. • If she’s still wearing her panties, kiss her through them.
Never, under any circumstances, blow into a woman’s vagina as though trying to fill it with air. Doing so is seriously dangerous. Blowing into a woman’s vagina may cause an embolism and lead to death.
Make your first lick a slow and tender “ice cream” lick from bottom to top. Make it long and lasting. Take it all in.
Start at the base of her vaginal entrance, the fourchette, and work your way up.
Take in the full length of her labia minora (inner lips) and let your tongue rest briefly against her frenulum, the area just under the clitoral head.
• As you go over the head, brush it lightly as a feather, and then proceed to her front commissure (the area just above the head).
As you kiss her slowly from top to bottom, press your finger lightly against her perineum (the expanse of skin just below her vaginal entrance).
As an alternative to the standard position, grab hold of her upper thighs prior to the first kiss and pivot her legs up into
Make sure that the interval between licks is long enough to let each one resonate fully and completely.
Feel your tongue against her vulva. Let your respective nerve endings find one another and conjoin in embrace. See and feel your tongue fusing with her vulva, and then…
Break the contact. Your tongue should completely disconnect from her vulva for a split second, causing the slightest of tremors in her pelvis: an almost imperceptible shudder of shock from the loss of your tongue. Then…
Flirt with her inner lips; trace the edges with your fingertip. Squeeze and pinch them playfully. Acquaint your index finger with all the diverse parts of her vulva, and take note of her responses.
Lightly tap her frenulum, the region just below her clitoral head and above her vaginal entrance where her labia minora (inner lips) meet.
Tilt your head to the left or right (whichever is more comfortable), and press your ear against her thigh. Then lick from a lower corner point of the clitoral region up to its diagonal opposite, brushing against the clitoral head in the process. When this is executed correctly, you’ll notice that your strokes slow down because you’re working harder for each one and you’re using the side of your tongue as opposed to the front of it.
Let your tongue rest firmly and flatly against the full length of her vaginal entrance. Push your tongue into her vulva. Then let her do the work. Let her move, glide, shimmy, and grind against your tongue. Whatever she wants. Let her set the pace.
by inserting a single, still finger into the vaginal entrance. Now incorporate slow movements of that finger into your routine: • Start with a straight index finger and then curl it in a “come-hither” gesture.
Gently graze her vaginal ceiling with your fingertip. As you do so, your finger will pass over the clitoral cluster, an area of sensitive spongy tissue that surrounds the urethra and swells against the vaginal ceiling when aroused. At this point in the process of arousal, her clitoral cluster should be fairly easy to find, as it is likely engorged with the inflow of blood. Your fingertip should end its journey in the spongy tissue where her vaginal ceiling intersects with her vaginal entrance.
inside with your index finger, use your thumb to press her perineum from the outside. In this position, you’re literally pinching her perineum from both sides.
