Academically Yours (Best Friends Book Club, #1)

by Jennifer Chipman

And fuck—I knew she needed time. She had told me as much, and I would wait however long she needed before she was ready for this. For us. Because she was my girl—had been for a while, really, and I wanted… everything from her.

Noelle: Demanding now, are we, prof? Me: I want to see you. Me: Come, please? Noelle: Only if you promise not to keep my underwear again. Me: I can’t promise that baby. Noelle: Steal another pair, and I’m going to make you buy me more. Me: I’ll buy you whatever you want, sweetheart, as long as I can get you in my arms again. Noelle: Romantic today, huh, Matthew? I like it.

“Noelle. It’s just—God—you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. This isn’t just sex for me, baby. I need you to know that. I need you to know that I’ve never done this before. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea because that’s not what this is for me.” I’m not in the habit of bringing women to my office and having my way with them. Just you. There would only ever be just you.

“I always want you.” I practically growled out at her, grinding my teeth. “But… We really shouldn’t do this,”

“When I’m with you, I don’t think about anything. Not about my past, or my fears for the future. Because when it’s just us… just Matthew and Noelle… I can finally let myself feel things I’ve never let myself feel before, Matthew. I don’t want to lose that. I don’t…” She took a deep breath. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“Why did you ask me to come by today?” Noelle asked, her voice breathy and low. “I needed you,” I murmured. “Then have me,”

“I can’t—” I stopped. I can’t what? Want her, need her, be completely enthralled by her? But I didn’t even care anymore. “I can’t let you go, baby,” I said, and it was the truth, the whole truth. Mine. She was mine.

“I’m not going to leave, Matthew. I—I want this.” She shut her eyes, and I brushed back a piece of hair from her face. “Good. Because I want you. I just want to make sure you’re ready… because I just can’t bear to be without my girl.”

Noelle, Noelle, God Noelle, Noelle, fuck. Noelle, Noelle,

I couldn’t believe how much I loved doing this to Noelle—and only Noelle.

God, she was going to absolutely ruin me. No, I was fairly sure I was already completely ruined.

I just needed her to realize everything I could give her first.

“Dinner?” I said, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, Matthew, I do think you’ve found the way to my heart. I hope you know you’re ruining me for all other men.” “Yeah, that’s the point, baby.”

“Honestly, I just didn’t expect you to be so… domestic.”

“What, a guy isn’t allowed to cook his girl dinner anymore?” His girl.

To be honest, just as much as I craved physical connection, I had always feared the romantic intimacy that came along with being in a relationship, with falling in love.

Yup call me out

But with Matthew… I felt safe. Maybe even safe to feel things.

“I tried to make some of your favorites,” he smiled. “I noticed that you liked alfredo when we went to the Italian place. And…” he glanced at the green beans. “I figured it wouldn’t hurt to get you to eat a few vegetables.” I playfully shoved at him. “I do eat vegetables, thank you very much.”

“Maybe… if you’re a good girl, you’ll even get dessert.”

oh

I can try. For him, I think I would try anything. Because seeing him smile filled me with more joy than I could explain.

“God, Noelle. I don’t know anything, but I know that I want you. I don’t know what overcame me,” he started. “You were just there, bursting into my life, and you were always making me feel like I was going to have a heart attack when I looked at you…”

“I don’t want you to be a dirty secret, Noelle. I don’t want to have to hide how much I want you. From anyone. Okay?”

“I really like you, Noelle. So much. I like your brain.” He placed a kiss on my forehead. “Your heart.” A kiss on my chest, over my left breast. “Your smile.” His lips finally found mine. “Your body, your curves.” His lips found my shoulder and he lingered there for a moment. “I especially can’t get those thighs of yours out of my mind…” His hands trailed up my skirt, towards my bare skin. “I want you. All of you. Always.”

“I dreamed about this,” he panted as he pulled away and I leaned my forehead against his. “Dreamed about what? What did you do to me in your dreams, Matthew?”

“Everything. Everything.”

“Look at you,” I said, feeling such a swell of desire for her in my chest. “My gorgeous girl. You look so beautiful right now.”

But Noelle, my Noelle, I wanted to taste her every minute of every day.

“Fuck. Noelle. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than inside you, sweetheart.”

And I did, then, open my eyes to watch her because, well… I was gone for her. So completely gone for this girl. And it was definitely, one hundred percent Noelle’s fault.

“No. No, of course not. I don’t mind you being older than me, Matthew. I want you; you know that?” I nodded. “Yeah, baby.” I buried my head in her neck. “Because I knew, from the moment I saw you, that you were mine. And I had to keep you. Had to figure out a way to have you, my sweet girl.”

“I… Matthew, what do you want in life?” I blinked. “You.”

“Is that… okay? I know we haven’t known each other all that long but… I want you in my life, Noelle. I told you, you’re mine.”

“I’ve never felt like this with anyone. I’ve never felt this much for anyone. It’s never been like this with anyone.”

“If you want me, you want this—us… Then I’ll do whatever I can to make you happy. To make this work.” “So, we’re together, then?” “Damn right we are, baby.”

😭☹️💘

“I think you’ve ruined me, Noelle.”

“Good,” she smirked. “Then no other girls will go near my man.” “Your man, huh?”

“Yeah, my man. And I’m your girl, aren’t I?” “The only one,”

STFUUDBDBSNSBS😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I could feel her smile as she nestled deeper into my arms. We fell asleep like that, cuddled together, arms wrapped around each other, whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears until our eyes drooped closed and no more words came to us. I fell into a deep, peaceful sleep, one where I had her for always. I hoped the day would never come when I had to say goodbye to the sweet feisty little redhead who had taken a big piece of my heart.

☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

“What are you doing?” he finally asked. “I’m wondering what it will take to get you to kiss me.” “That’s silly “Why is that?” “Because I’m always wanting to kiss you,”

God, I loved kissing him. I loved everything with him. How well he filled me, how much he cared about me in bed, in… every aspect. He was a born caretaker, a protector—something I had never needed, never wanted, yet I found that I wanted all of it with Matthew. Damn him, for making me think all of these domestic thoughts about him. All of these lovely, lust-covered thoughts as he held me in his arms. Damn him.

“Stay.” “Matthew—” I tried to protest, but he just shook his head against my skin, and I sighed. “Stay,” he requested again. “I like holding you in my arms.”

I am so lonely

“Is this what I have to look forward to whenever I sleep over again in the future? I’m not sure I’ll ever leave if you’re this good to me, Matthew.” “Morning, sweetheart.” Matthew smiled and leaned over to me to drop a kiss on my lips. “Morning babe.” I appreciated his bare chest—he had only put on a pair of sweatpants, and he was leaning over the stove, flipping bacon in a pan as another appliance seemed to be cooking food right next to him.

A DREAM HELLO?/?/2??2/?/?:?:

“I just… God, Noelle, I want to take you out. I want to spoil you how you deserve to be spoiled.” I touched my forehead to his. “I think I’d like that. But all I need is you, you know that?” This is all I’ve ever wanted, I thought—to just have you, all of you, with nothing coming in between us. “Good.” Matthew smiled. “Because I do wanna take you on a proper date, baby.”

😭🫶

So somehow, this felt like it would mean more to me than just sex. Him taking care of me, loving my whole body, even when I just wanted to wrap my arms around my stomach and hide. Matthew placed a kiss on my bare shoulder.

“He didn’t take the time to worship your body every single place he could?” He made a tsk noise with his tongue. “That’s a damn shame, Noelle, because I can’t get enough of you.”

“Noelle. We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. And I mean that—for everything. But I want you to see yourself how I see you. Beautiful. Sexy. Treasured. Cared for.” And the word he didn’t say, but I felt, in every gentle touch and action: loved.

“I feel safe with you,”

“You feel like you were made for me.”

“Okay, point taken. Hmm…” She looked deep in thought for a moment. “Bookstore day?” I placed one hand on each side of her as I kept the spatula in my right one. “You just want to buy more books, don’t you?” “Maybe.”

OH MY GOD

It made me realize I needed a photo of her for my own lock screen and background.