Fumbled Hearts (Tender Hearts #1)

by Meagan Brandy

I hear him groan, “you can bet your ass you’d remember it.” I let my lips brush his cheek as I lower my feet to the ground.

Nate’s standing in my doorway, looking every shade of sexy, a little uncomfortable, and a lot pissed off.

It takes him a minute to meet my gaze, but when he does, a look of possessiveness passes through them briefly. Weird.

“I just never found anything I wanted to keep before.”

Back on the porch, when she smiled over her shoulder at me, my stomach bottomed out, putting me off balance. I had to lean against the damn post to keep from making a fool of myself.

I’m not a clumsy guy, but this girl’s got me trippin’ over myself in every which way and she doesn’t even know it. That smile she gave me; I’ve never seen it before.

It was real. Lethal. I want to see it again.

“What?” I snap. “This is gonna be fun.” “What is?” “Watching your role reversal.” When my brows pull in, she rolls her eyes and looks back to Kalani. “You like her and she hasn’t the slightest clue,” she observes. “And I’m betting, even if she did, she wouldn’t give a damn.” She turns, smiling wide at me. “I think it’s safe to say, you’ve been friend-zoned.”

“Say what you want, little brother, but I have a feeling you’ll be the one doing the chasing this time around.”

My pulse spikes and my pupils dilate because this

playboy in front of me is looking at me like he never wants to look away.

“Kalani…” he trails off, his body leaning toward mine.

His eyes are fervent and open, and I gotta go... I hop up so fast I have to squeeze my eyes tight for a few seconds to regain stability. I don’t look back at him, and he doesn’t follow. Like a true godsend, Parker walks around the corner right then. “Ready?” he calls out, cutting Nate a curious glance. “Yep,” I answer, walking past him. Right when my hand reaches the handle of Parker’s truck, Nate calls out, “I’ll catch you later, Kalani.” My body denies me of the breath I need once I process his double meaning. Hopping into the truck, I slam the door, earning a glare from Parker and a laugh from Nate. Let’s pray the quarterback can’t catch as well as he can throw.

“Bye, Handsome,” I call out from the kitchen. “Bye’s not gonna work for me, Kalani,” he says in a smooth and unwavering voice. My entire body turns to stone. “See you soon.”

I don’t get jealous. I don’t feel humiliation or compassion or love. Hell, I don’t even feel alive most of the time. It’s all skin deep. Fun and free-spirited. It is what it is and nothing more. And I love it. It’s perfect. A beautiful simplicity of nothingness. The ultimate escape.

“Looking at you gets under my skin.” He drops down an inch. “Thinking about you fucks with my head.” Another inch. “Hearing that raspy, sexy ass voice of yours gets me riled up,” he rumbles quietly, his body now brushing mine. “And touching you? Touching you sets me on fire,” he whispers.

He’s almost to me now, his eyes burning into mine, but the closer he gets, the clearer they become – for me. You’d never see it – or believe it, for that matter - with the way his body’s moving. With his arms hanging loose at his sides, his easy strides, a shadow of a grin tipping those lips, and his chin held high, he oozes confidence. Or smugness, depending on how you look at it. His face is a cold mask for all those around him to see, but for whatever reason, I see the vulnerability hidden deep in his dark orbs. He’s not hiding it from me. He

wants me to know what he wants; what he’s hoping for...

secretly begging me for. I give it to him. Never breaking our eye contact, I push Jarrod’s hands off me and stand right as Nate’s feet land in front of mine, bringing us chest to chest. His eyes shine instantly and I don’t even care it’s his cocky smirk that comes out to play. “You forget what you promised me last night, Gorgeous?” he whispers for only me to hear, his eyes narrowing. My tongue slides out to wet my suddenly dry lips, I shake my head. Because, no, I didn’t forget. I also didn’t think for a second he was serious. “Good.” He winks. Next thing I know, his soft lips are on mine. His kiss is more demanding and territorial than anything, but right now, I don’t mi...

“Nothing to deny, Hollins. I know where I want to be

and yeah,” I pull my shirt over my head, grabbing my wallet and keys, “that happens to be where she is.”

“Why don’t you ever say goodbye to me?” My brows jump at her sudden and unexpected question. “I pay attention. I hear you say it all the time, to other people, but you never say it to me.” Her tone is accusatory, as if she’s upset by it, but I can see the importance of the question in her eyes. I don’t even think she realizes how badly she wants my answer, maybe even needs it, but I can feel it.

Cautiously, I lift my right hand and tuck her silky black hair behind her ear. Flattening my palm, I let it rest there against her soft skin.

I prop myself up on my elbow and slowly lean down to press a kiss against her lips. She doesn’t pull away, but she doesn’t give in either. I whisper against her lips, my eyes locked onto hers, “Because, for some reason, the thought of saying goodbye to you does somethi...

Handsome: it’s okay to want something. No pain, no gain.

It’s my turn to search his face and, as I do, it’s the first

time I don’t see the overzealous playboy, but a guy searching for something more in a girl who has nothing to give. And for the first time in what seems like forever, I feel a ping of sadness, right in the center of my chest. Because right now, I wish I could give him whatever it is he’s looking for.

“Happy Birthday, Handsome.” “Best one yet,” he winks, stepping back slightly. “Why didn’t you say anything?” I ask, genuinely curious. He shrugs. “Because I didn’t want you to feel like you had to come out if you didn’t want to, and I wasn’t gonna if you weren’t.” He reaches up and tucks my hair behind my ear. “But... it’s your birthday.” “And I wanted to spend it with you.”

His right-hand lifts between us. Grabbing one of my curls off the pillow, he runs it through his fingers, watching as it falls from his hand. Brows drawn in; he lifts his eyes to look at me. And now my heart’s beating faster for a completely different reason. His eyes are weightless, as if he just figured it all out. Problem is, I have no idea what it is. When he lifts onto his right elbow to peer down at me, I have to look away. His eyes are too bright and honest, too strong and sure. Too much.

I saw it in her eyes. She tried damn hard to feign indifference, to look at me with empty eyes, but she needs to realize I can see right through her. Right into her clear blues. And somewhere in that caged-up, closed-off heart of hers, she knows. There’s more going on here than either of us has admitted. She wants me. She wasn’t looking for bragging rights, or to say she had sex with Nate Monroe, football protégé. Nah. She just wanted me. The hot-headed, hot-blooded guy, with a soft spot for the little blue-eyed, black-haired piece of perfection. I can’t wait to have her again. And again.

Austin was right, she’s mine. She just doesn’t know it yet. Whistling, I throw on my A’s hat, grab my keys, and head out the door. She’s about to find out.

“Remember something for me…” I don’t think she’s looking for an answer, so I remain silent.

“If she’s let you in…” She catches the pinch in my brows instantly, the uncertainty. “Don’t doubt it. If she told you, she already did. She has let you in.” Her voice is confident, leaving no room for argument.

“Kalani is a free-spirited girl. She picks and chooses who to trust. Once you’re in, you stay there. Always. No matter what.” She drops he...

Never breaking eye contact, she reaches up and pulls my hat off my head. “You done?” “Not by a long shot.” “Good answer,” she smiles, lifting my hat to block our faces as she gently places her sweet, soft lips against mine in a kiss that leaves me desperate for more. She pulls back, laughing, placing my hat back on my head.

Glancing at the dark-haired beauty in my passenger seat with her eyes closed, a small smile playing on her swollen lips, I know…something happened last night or today. Shit, maybe even a month ago, when she first invited me over for a movie. I guess it doesn’t really matter when it happened. All I know is, this girl next to me... I want to keep her here. Now to convince her that’s where she wants to be.

“It comes and goes as it pleases, taking with it the remains of the day or the hours before, washing away all traces of attendance, all the memories. Nothing is as powerful as the rain.”

“I can see it, Kalani,” he says quietly, running his fingertips down my arm. “You battling with yourself. Sometimes you allow yourself to smile, a real one that makes your eyes shine, only to wash it away seconds later, leaving behind a blank space.” He gazes at me. “Like the rain.”

“Do you not share that?” Sara tilts her head, her soft eyes shining in my direction. “Not believe in fate?” Her question is genuine, so I answer. “Not really, no. That would mean that all the bad happens so, in the end, one good thing can. I don’t see how so many negatives could ever be worth one positive.” “Sometimes the answers aren’t so simple,” Ian offers softly. “Sometimes we go through things we shouldn’t so, in the end, we come out stronger.” “But are we?” I hold his gaze. “Stronger? Or are we so broken that at the first sign of ‘good’, we latch on in hopes to forget the bad? To erase it as if that makes it any better? That’s not being strong, that’s confirming you’re weak.”

“He doesn’t realize, does he?” “I’m no liar, Mr. Monroe.” I purposely go with his last name. “If he ever asked, I’d tell him, but it’s completely unnecessary and insignificant. I don’t like people knowing about my life because it’s my business. I’ve shared things with him I haven’t shared with anyone – not that that’s your business - but some things aren’t factors in who I am, and that’s one of them.” I shrug. “So, I now own half of a professional football team. So, my grandfather has two Super Bowl rings and was inducted into the Hall of Fame. Who cares that my parents owned and operated the number one sports photography company in the country? While those things are awesome, they’re mine.”

When I’m set gently into the seat, a soft kiss placed to my forehead, I have the strangest, most unwelcome, foolish thought. A girl could get used to this.

He smiles, his hand sliding across my cheek to tuck my hair behind my ear as he tends to do, only this time, he holds steady. The gentle caress of his fingers behind my ear has me leaning into his embrace.

There’s something in them. Something flowing through him, radiating off him, that he’s trying to show me or wants me to catch, that I can’t quite reach. His deep brown eyes hold a promise that I can’t figure out, and I don’t dare ask.

“You’re my paramour.”

“Yeah, well. He isn’t mine, either.” Nate steps into my space, forcing my eyes back to his. “Maybe I want to be.” “Want to be what?” “Yours.” He tips his chin.

“You didn’t think I’d let you fall, did you?” he whispers.

He gives me a subtle nod, asking me not to go…not to freak out, and I have no idea what to make of it. No idea how he always seems to know when I’m on the verge of running, metaphorically speaking. I think. He does that a lot. Reads me, speaks to me without words, like he can see all the things others can’t. Or maybe, when I’m near him, the clear, bullet-proof glass window that shields me from all prying eyes, opens. That’s fucking ridiculous. Completely out of my element, I pull a classic Kalani move; roll my eyes to cover my discomfort, walk past him to take my seat, and refuse to think about it. Of course, he had to go and make it worse by giving me the space I needed to chill out, choosing a desk a few spaces away, further proving me right when I kind of wanted to be wrong –

Nate understands what I need.

The more I think about why I’m pissed at her, the more I realize it’s my own damn fault. Of course, Kalani didn’t care to call me to see what I was up to or tell me what she had planned, and I was a fool to assume she knew I was coming over. Or that I planned to pick her up. Or that I was who she was supposed to show up with. How would she know that’s what I wanted - what I want - when I haven’t told her?

“Hey, Handsome.” She takes a step closer. “That wasn’t what it looked like,” I rush out, pleading for her understanding. “I swear, I was sitting there talking to my buddies, and she sat on me. I stood up to push her off and that’s when you walked in.” I’m breathing so heavy I might pass out, but I don’t care. I need her to believe what I’m saying. To trust me. I take a deep breath and allow myself to search her eyes, finding they’re shining with... humor? The fuck?