Begin Again

by Emma Lord

“You must read like, an entire book a day.” “Sometimes two,” she confesses.

“You’re really not mad?” “Oh. To be clear, if you ever mess with Eternal Darkness again, I will take that Earl Grey tea you love so much and dump it in the lake like it’s the Boston Harbor,” he says, leaning into the counter. His eyes are on mine in that wholly focused way of his, but there’s something different about it now. Something wry. Something amused. “But no. I am not mad. Annoyed, maybe. But also impressed.”

“So I have this situation. I have this long-distance … almost relationship? I’m not sure exactly. We both say we’re open to making it work, but I’m not so sure how committed he is. Things have been really uncertain for a while. And I want to give it a chance, but I’m also kind of crushing on someone else. Someone who’s here.”

Wouldn't it be wild if she was talking about Connor?

“What the hell are you doing here?” It’s Valeria, her dark mane of hair sweeping between me and Connor so fast that it whips behind her like a cape. I watch them the same way I’d watch something unfold in a dream—like I’ve suddenly forgotten I’m a part of the scene, so fixated on what’s happening in front of me that I’m only half in my body. “I told you to leave me alone,” says Valeria. “You can’t just show up here in the middle of the day and try and—what is it you even want, Whit? To get me back? To have me around as some kind of backup girl?”

CALLLLED ITTTTTTTT

“Andie, let’s just—let me take you to lunch,” he pleads. “I can explain.” “Oh, I’d love to see you try,” says Valeria, putting a foot between the two of us like a bodyguard. It is clear to me in that moment that her anger for me is bigger than her anger for herself, and I’ve never been more grateful for her friendship than I am right now.