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was so worried about keeping my place with him, with his family, that I barely let myself find a place here.
it’s not that I don’t belong at Blue Ridge. It’s that I never really belonged with Connor.
wasn’t the only one who felt like the odd one out. I wasn’t the only one looking for a place to belong.
Only now do I understand that we never found one. We worked together to build one.
I’m not just feeling the full force of what I feel for him, but what he feels for me.
“I worked really, really hard to make myself fit into their world. And now it’s just gone.”
“You shouldn’t have to make yourself fit, Andie,”
“That’s not a constant. That’s you changing all the time for other people’s sakes.”
For all my changing, I’ve never felt more grounded, more separate,...
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a strange responsibility has taken its place—my choices, and the consequen...
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“I always want to know what’s going on in your world.”
“There were times when I thought you were going to be more involved, and you weren’t. I don’t want to get my hopes up so you can just…”
“The grief already felt like a mountain. It just got heavier and heavier the longer I stayed here. Like we were carrying it for everybody else, too.”
feeling like I was on an island, and no matter how hard I paddled back, I could never step foot on the old shore.
“Never liked a plan. Always just went where the winds took her.”
I’d make the plans, help set them into motion when I could. We balanced each other out. I think that’s the most you can hope for when you’re in love; that you balance each other out.
Make each other stronger.”
she was my anchor,” he says. “I needed her. I didn’t know how to be without her.”
“I needed you,” I tell him.
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted, Andie. For you to be happy.”
“I’d rather be miserable with you than happy without you.”
And for what it’s worth, I’ll keep trying. As long as you’re okay with it.”
I never gave up on you. So … don’t give up on me, either.”
For so long the word “family” has loomed over me like a threat, like something I stood to lose. But
doesn’t feel like something I have to earn. It feels like something that just is.
not so scary now that I’m starting to recognize that families take shapes of their own, and I’m ...
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My friends at Blue Ridge. This town that’s still here for me, even ...
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I’ll never find out if I don’t let myself move on from the past and give them a chance.
To them falling in love. To them sharing a life together.
Volunteer societies. My heart suddenly feels full enough to burst.
Like he can finally look back and see the joy of things the way they were, instead of the pain of what might have been.
The ones that helped me build friendships, helped me push past the limits I set for myself, helped me realize what was actually important to me,
“For the record,” he adds, “I’m damn proud of you, too.”
“Smells like some conflict avoidance, if you ask me.”
She’s just worried about getting hurt all over again.
“Now I just have to make her believe it.”
It was the first time I understood how a single person could affect me that much.
“I was just afraid of that, I think. Of letting love in, knowing that it could have that power over me.”
“Someone who’s got your back no matter what.”
“I just needed time to heal that feeling, before I could really let myself trust it again,”
These feelings I’ve had for Milo—the burn, the ache, the need—it’s like Valeria said. They’re so much louder, so much scarier than anything I’ve ever felt.
I’ve never let myself be led by my feelings before; I’ve only ever been the architect of them.
There was order. There w...
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It’s not a crush. But whatever it is, it’s about to crush me.
Something that evolved here in small ways each day, with every answered listener email, every segment, every push to be braver about it than I had in years.
this gratitude I have for this boy who understands me in ways nobody else has.
Who knows me well enough not to try to fix me, but to give me the space to fix myself.
Because that’s just it—it doesn’t matter how I feel about him.
“Amy was a force to be reckoned with.”
My heart feels so full it might tip over. I’ve never believed in fairy tales; I’ve only ever believed in our power over our own fates.
