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July 8 - August 5, 2023
If we choose to use a pacifier, we can try to limit its use by placing it in a box in the sleeping area. And we can gradually remove the pacifier by the end of the first year.
Babies are able to sign before they can speak, thanks to the early development of motor neurons that send signals to their hands. We can teach basics like “milk,” “more,” “eat,” “done,” and “sleep.” We can say the words while also signing.
In Montessori we have a phrase to describe this: “teach by teaching instead of correcting.” So instead of simply saying “no,” we observe them trying out something in the moment, then wait to show them what to do instead at another time. We also try to tell them what to do instead of what not to do. This does not mean that we never say “no” to them. We just use it sparingly so that they know its importance.
If there is more than one language in the home, we can use the One Person, One Language (OPOL) approach. Each parent chooses their mother tongue when speaking with the baby, while the family uses one agreed-upon “family language.” We can also use an approach called Domains of Use. This is where we have agreed-upon times or places (temporal domains) when we use certain languages. For example, on the weekends the family chooses to speak English; out of the home they choose to speak the local language; and at home they speak the parents’ mother tongues. We need to spend around 30 percent of the
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Dr. Montessori referred to the hands as the instruments of human intelligence. She also said that whatever we want to give to the mind, we must give to the hands first. In essence, the hands and the baby’s intellect are directly connected. When we help our baby develop their fine-motor skills, we are also supporting the development of their intelligence.
We can use a topponcino when transitioning baby from arms to a mat or bed. This allows the temperature, feel, and smell to remain relatively consistent, so the baby is not disoriented or startled. Always lower the baby slowly and tell them what is happening.
By the second month, the baby could be spending a significant portion of their awake time on their movement mat. They can be placed on their back on a blanket and given the freedom to move.
We can avoid placing a mobile over the baby’s bed, because this is their resting place. A mobile is for “work,” that is, working on their visual development.
A toilet paper roll can be used to check. If an object can go through it, it is probably a choking hazard.
We can make tummy time more enjoyable for our baby by using a mirror so the baby can see their reflection, or by laying the baby on our body or lying on the floor next to them.
When her third child came along, she did not sit her up before she could do it on her own, and Junnifa noticed a significant difference. First, her daughter crawled before sitting. Sitting was a natural transition from being on all fours. She could also get both into and out of the sitting position and did not fall back like her older sons had done.
Offering one finger and letting them lead is different from taking both their hands over their head and walking with them. In that case, the adult is mostly taking the baby’s weight and putting them into a position they are not yet ready for. This is similar to a ballet dancer who goes into pointe shoes too early and hurts their feet.
It can be so hard as a parent to watch our little baby fall, and this might lead us to react strongly by shouting, looking terrified, or running toward the baby to quickly pick them up. Often our reaction has a stronger effect on the baby than the actual fall.
We would gently caution against having music playing nonstop. Not only is it extra stimuli for the baby to take in, but babies adapt to their conditions and might begin to view it as background noise and block it out instead of enjoying it.
There are also benefits for the mother: Breastfeeding helps shrink the uterus; studies show that it can lower the risk of breast and ovarian cancers, type 2 diabetes, and postpartum depression; and when there is a feeling of loss or emptiness after carrying the baby in the uterus, holding the baby for extended periods while breastfeeding can help.
it is generally recommended to wait until the end of the first month to offer bottle-feeding to avoid nipple confusion
Choking signs to watch for are loss of color in face and the absence of sounds. If that happens, we can place the baby stomach-down along our arm horizontally with their chin in our hand. Strike between the shoulder blades with the heel of the opposite hand, and see if anything comes out. Repeat four more times. If the food has not dislodged, sandwich-hold the baby between our forearms (their chin and neck supported gently by our hands) to turn them onto their back for five breast compressions.
Our baby can join us at the family table in a tray-less high chair. This allows us to eat together rather than feed the baby separately. Our baby is learning that mealtimes are social occasions, and they can feel less pressure to eat when we aren’t solely focused on them or rushing them to finish eating.
The adult is in charge of what their baby eats, where they eat, and eventually when they eat. How much they eat is up to the child. Trust that they are learning to listen to their bodies. We do not have to force in one more spoon, pretend an airplane full of food is flying in their mouth, or distract them with a screen.
Exclusive breastfeeding has been recommended by the WHO for the first 6 months of the baby’s life
If our baby becomes dependent on us to sleep, rocking them or feeding them to sleep, for example, become sleep crutches. When the baby gets into a light sleep during the night, they can find it difficult to resettle without this rocking or feeding.
nap when baby naps—take care of our sleep and well-being; do our chores when the baby is awake and allow them to observe, talk to them about what we are doing, and involve them
If using a night-light, look for a red-based night-light and avoid white- and blue-based ones, which can suppress melatonin and affect the baby’s sleep.
These days disposable diapers are so effective at keeping the baby feeling dry that the baby misses the feeling of wetness when they urinate, which they will need later when they learn to use the toilet independently.
The WHO now recommends waiting at least 24 hours before baby’s first bath. Also, our baby does not have to be bathed every day—instead maybe three times a week.
Studies show that pacifiers may reduce the risk of SIDS. If using a pacifier helps an unsettled baby or it helps a baby to fall asleep instead of crying for a long time, then use it at these limited times. It can be useful to keep the pacifier in a box by the bed so that it isn’t tempting to use during the day, when we feel like we want some quiet.
Allow all feelings, not all behavior.
We have to care for ourselves in order to care for another human. Eating, resting, filling our emotional and spiritual tanks—this is what helps us to stay regulated and objective in dealing with our baby. Parenting, especially in the early days, can be very taxing and draining. Our babies are relying on us for so much, and if we do not make conscious efforts to meet our own needs, we might find ourselves so depleted that we go into survival mode. In this mode, we will be less able to respond positively to our babies. In this mode, our baby’s cry, which once was just a cue, might become a
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Mood-altering hormones rage and recede during pregnancy and the months after birth (pretty much a year after birth, to be honest), such that it can be helpful for the partner to check in daily: “How are you today? Can I get you anything?” It may be some time before the mother has the space in her head to be able to return this support as she adjusts to her new role—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
“The parents can do less than they think. If their baby is concentrating, they can sit to observe. And respond when the baby calls out to them. It’s actually a more relaxing way to parent than feeling like we need to entertain the baby all day.”
