The House Witch (The House Witch, #1)

by Delemhach

“IF ANY ONE OF YOU TRIES THIS SHIT AGAIN WITH PETER, OR HARRASS ANY OF MY FRIENDS THAT ARE MAIDS, THERE IS NOWHERE IN THIS GODFORSAKEN KINGDOM YOU WILL BE SAFE FROM ME. I KNOW WHERE YOU ALL SLEEP, I COOK YOUR FOOD, I KNOW WHO WASHES YOUR CLOTHES AND BEDDING, AND IF I HAVE TO CHASE YOU INTO A SIX-FOOT-DEEP HOLE, I WILL. GOT IT?”

“Who did you stay with?” Annika blurted the question before she could stop herself. Lord Ryu turned his eyes to her and smiled fondly. “A single mother who was a gifted healer and her son. He’s actually the cook here in the castle now. I had nothing to do with that promotion, however,” he added with a good-natured smile. “He is a talented cook,” Annika managed as she delicately speared the pasta that had been prepared by the very man they spoke of.

“What kind of man is it that you like?” he demanded with an openly suggestive smile that almost made Annika laugh. “Frugal,” she replied, delighted in watching the look of disgust flash briefly across his face. “Frugal in his generosity, you mean?” he demanded, clearly trying not to openly scorn her. “No, as in he knows how to find contentment with what he has. Perhaps someone who enjoys a bit of banter, deeply cares for others, and is stronger than he realizes.” She couldn’t stop the smile from spreading on her face then, and even Lord Nam was momentarily stunned by it, despite her controversial words. A small blush had crept up in her cheeks as her gaze fixated on the ground.

“Well, I suppose I prefer you than Mr. Howard.” “I heard that rumor about him and Peter—I must confess, quite a few of the noble ladies here in the castle are quite taken with the notion.” Fin resumed his work then, lacing two stitches before pausing to give Annika a rest. She was already sweating profusely. “The ladies?!” Fin paused his work to laugh. “I thought it was solely the maids. Gods, he is going to murder me.” “You started it?!” Annika laughed, then gasped in pain at having done so, which instantly ceased all of Fin’s humor for several long breaths. “Well, it was originally about me and Mr. Howard, but I may have … redirected it a bit,” he admitted with a hesitant smile, after Annika’s breathing gradually deepened once more.

He could tell she was physically fighting the urge to laugh as he hastily tried to finish another two stitches.

“What do you want from me?” The coldness in her tone made Fin slowly turn his gaze back to her. “Please don’t ask me that.” His voice was quiet, but no less harsh. “Do you just want to bed me? A quick roll in the sheets? Is that why it isn’t worth pursuing? A meaningless fornication isn’t worth risking your neck; that I can completely understand. Tell me that’s the reason, and I’ll accept it with no hard feelings.” Fin’s jaw clenched and his eyes shifted to a spot on the window behind Annika. The rain pounded it relentlessly, the tattering the only sound in the room as she stared furiously up at him. After a few moments, she spoke again.

“You want me to tell you why I won’t say anything? Why I won’t just take you on my kitchen table?” Annika didn’t scare easily, but he was making her feel … aggressively worried. She didn’t let him see that, though. She steeled herself and scowled up at him. “Desperately. Enlighten me.” “Because if I do that, I won’t ever let you go. I want every part of you, and I’ll take it, and then? You’ll hate me. You’ll hate what being with me will cost. You’ll lose not just your fortune or favor in court. The war aside? You will lose the right to be close to the queen, who you love. You won’t be able to make a difference in this kingdom if you can’t be a spy, and that’s who you are. I am not worth you giving up everything. You barely know me.”

“You know Mr. Ashowan is really attractive, right? He makes amazing food, and even though he’s not a knight, he can fight—everyone knows that. He defended Hannah, and now he also has magic powers? He is very desirable. I just thought he was gay until the last few minutes.” She shrugged.

“Do … do you like him?” “Not even slightly in that way. We had this discussion a long time ago, but I suppose that was before you joined us. I see him more as a constantly tired and irritable father. I’d say he’s like an older brother, but I see him yelling at me to get off his flowerbeds better than I do him having a bunch of boyish revelry with friends or pulling pigtails.”

Some man is going to turn me into a simpering idiot? I’d rather tie myself to a Troivackian ship and be dragged back than become something so pitiful.

“I wager you a gold coin you didn’t know how badly I needed to hit someone today,” she hoarsely informed her opponent over the clamor of the storm around them.

“You fight like a dirty Troivackian.” Annika smiled with a deranged glint in her eyes from beneath her hood. “I love it.”

“Who the hell are you?” he croaked as Annika flipped the blade in her hand. “A Daxarian who has had a bad day,” she ground out before giving her final blow.

“Back to what you were just saying, plants are more aware than you think, Mr. Ashowan,” Kasim began to explain as they neared the castle doors. “They sense things in the earth and the creatures they privilege with their support. While you may ask favors of plants and the earth, they may choose not to listen, or just as easily decide to obey you.”

“They always obey the earth witches, though,” Fin pointed out with a frown. “We earth witches tend to be recognized as part plant—and charming ones at that.” Kasim’s brilliant white teeth flashed, and Fin found himself already grinning.

“That hedge is pretty pissed off with you, my friend. They only listened because they like your hair and you caught them off guard by speaking to them. I don’t know that they will be as … receptive next time,” Kasim explained, still smiling.

“They like my hair?” Fin repeated, raising an eyebrow in disbelief. “Roses are quite fussy. I cannot always understand why either.”

“Being aware of something forms a connection, which then solidifies it in your world of awareness,”

“I don’t know that I want to know how much the cabbages like manure though …” Fin jested with Kasim, who laughed warmly as they mounted the steps together.

“Because of your ‘prank,’ I have received an inconceivable number of maids declaring their support of my love for Peter. The other half of the staff support my torrid relationship with your own person,” Mr. Howard snapped angrily, a small blush rising to his cheeks. “Well, aren’t you popular! Doesn’t it make you feel good that so many care about your happiness and wellbeing? I bet you’ve never spoken to seventy-five percent of the people in this castle before my well-intentioned meddling.” “You’re a pain in the ass that I wouldn’t hesitate to shove down a flight of stairs.” “I am grateful, then, that the kitchen is on the ground floor.”

“You need to accept the love offered to you in this life.” “I’d sooner accept the pox than anything you offer,” Kevin Howard barked as Fin waved the rose over his shoulder, heading back to his kitchens.

“You think we’re scared of a Daxarian cook just because—” Fin hit the man in two places with the heel of his palm and watched satisfied as the soldier fell to his knees before his face rushed the ground.

“I won’t ask again. Get off my turnips.” Fin’s deadened expression failed to convey his murderous intent, as the men all snickered, though with slightly more concern as they eyed their fallen comrade who was still sleeping like a newborn babe.

“I feel very protective of my turnips,” Fin explained mildly, not wanting to meet his friend’s eye.

“It’s because of you Lady Jenoure doesn’t want to get married. Gods, the two of you are in love with each other, aren’t you?”

Kraken was more likely than Fin to bring her a rose at this point. He had made himself perfectly clear, after all.

“Maid or queen, man or child, harassment is not tolerated by anyone in my kitchen or toward my staff.” Fin’s voice was quiet, and he remained completely unaffected by the murderous glare from the man in front of him.

“Do all Troivackians have to shave their earlobes?” Whatever Lord Piereva had been expecting in response to his taunts, it hadn’t been that. “You impertinent little sh—”

“W-We came down because,” Lady Gauva swallowed with great difficulty and began to turn a delicate shade of green. “M-my maid, Valerie, sh-she heard that y-you tried to give a rose to M-Mr. Howard,” Lady Lamont jumped in, sounding quite faint when she spoke, but what she said had Fin fighting off the urge to laugh hysterically with everything he had. “I see, and … where is it your maid heard such a thing?” Fin sounded as though he were being choked, and to both his utter horror and delight, the women all suddenly looked at him sympathetically.

“Mr. Howard was muttering about, and I am sorry to have to repeat these words to you Mr. Ashowan, but he said, ‘That idiot cook trying to give me a flower—I know his game.’ That is all Lady Lamont’s maid was able to hear, and we just wanted to come offer our condolences for your rejection.”

Fin was terrified to speak. He was going to laugh until he was crying if he tried. Fortunately, the women believed his silence and small blush were from shame.

“Let me tell you, if you ever get a chance to bed a fire witch? The sayings are true. Fire witch on the streets, brings heat in the sheets.” Reese fanned himself slightly as his eyes grew distant with memory.

Fin blinked. He had never in life ever heard a man be so abundantly open about being a whore. Not while sober, anyway …

“Fair enough! I’ll come back again tomorrow. Don’t you worry, Finlay Ashowan, you and I will be thick as thieves in no time. By the way, I loved your sausage,” he said, standing swiftly. “I beg your pardon?” Fin’s mind went blank. “You made sausage last night for dinner, and it was perfection. Just like you.” The man gently wiped his thumb across his lower lip, a movement that Fin wasn’t sure why, but drew his attention immediately.

“Just a thought for you, though, have you ever slapped a couple buns over the meat? Pile some good sauce in there and I think you’d have a messy but fulfilling time.” Fin’s jaw dropped for what felt like the hundredth time that day. His face was frozen between a smile of amusement and shock.

“Lady Jenoure, is there a reason why, when you do not know Mr. Ashowan well, that you found what he said funny?” Fin knew better than to doubt her ability to lie. “I know what I’ve heard around the castle. For someone who is allegedly ‘uninteresting,’ he has an impressive variety of opinions about him. Some admire him, others hold him in respectful regard, a select few are wary of him. It takes a complicated man to warrant a complicated reputation,” Annika explained wisely, while shooting Fin a look so dirty that he felt he needed to bathe immediately after the meeting.

“Mr. Ashowan, I want you to write down nonsense with random numbers, and hand them to anyone of import that strolls through your kitchen. An example would be if you wrote, The Dragon has found six eggs, prepare a basket.”

“Should you feel you are in danger at any time, please let me know by issuing a code to Mr. Howard. Let’s say … ‘The roasts have gone bad.’”

“Seven-year-olds remember nothing. Their minds are like … what’s that thing … you’d know …” “A sieve?” Reese snapped his fingers several times and pointed at Fin. “Exactly. He’ll forget all about me by then, and if he sees me again when he is all set to rule, I intend to be a handsome silver fox. I’ll have transformed from my present glowing youthful self, and I will be quite unrecognizable.” Reese then took the opportunity to reach for another cookie, only to see that Eric had slid the plate to his other side out of reach from the man.

“I’ll remember you just fine, and I’ll make sure you never get to eat another cookie again.” Eric glowered threateningly.

“If you don’t leave, I’ll tell all the noble ladies that you took cookies from me, and I’ll even pretend to cry while I do.”

“Don’t do that thing you do,” she hissed worriedly before continuing out the door as if nothing had happened. Fin kept his eyes on the king throughout the whole exchange, and once the door was firmly shut, a slow, wry smile spread across Norman’s face. “What’s ‘that thing you do,’ Fin?” The humor in the king’s voice and face made Fin break out into a juvenile grin. “I tend to aggravate people in a very efficient manner.” “That you do. Were I not on that receiving end on occasion, I’d admire it,” the king mused, only partly jesting.

“Oh Gods.” Kate’s free hand went to her mouth as she shook her head and terror swelled in her eyes. “He’ll get himself killed here,” she whispered fearfully. “On the contrary, he seems to somehow make friends as he does these things. The king and his closest advisors are good people,” Annika soothed with a caring glance. “Fin explains his points well, and so they listen—if anything, you should be worried that your son isn’t assertive enough,” she admitted, before realizing she had just indicated, in no uncertain terms, the exact level of knowledge she had about him.

“Oh, he’s plenty assertive if it’s for someone else, but for himself? To Fin, feeling safe, warm, and able to cook good food is enough. It doesn’t take him much to carve out a niche for himself—even if for others it’d be a little lonely.” Kate looked slightly downcast as she voiced this, clearly lost in her own thoughts on the matter.

“You don’t think he’s lonely?” “I think he prefers loneliness to the potential pain of hurting someone he cares about—or losing them. Ah, why am I filling your head with thoughts about my son? He’s the cook here, and I’m not going to lie and say he isn’t the best there is, but you are a lady! You’re very kind for indulging my thoughtless rambling. You must have your own exciting life!”

“Do not settle, but do not let the idea of passion stop you from making a wise decision either. I did so once, and not only did I pay for it dearly, but so did my boy.”

“She and I had a lovely chat about how you aren’t assertive enough. I believe that you are too vocal as is, while she believes you aren’t vocal enough for your own purposes. She truly is a brilliant woman—why, if it were up to her, I have no doubts she’d have you ruling the country by the sounds of it!” Kate trilled happily as they approached Fin’s cottage door.

“Oh son, the Goddess had a plan for you and she’s seeing to it! Don’t be so naïve. You must have great importance to have crossed so many wide paths. Why are you not forging your own?” she asked as she settled her head on the pillow with a contented smile on her face.

“My dearest, why would you listen to anyone but yourself? The Goddess talks to you about what you alone can do.” Kate sighed happily as her eyes fluttered closed.

“Why did you marry my father?”