The House Witch (The House Witch, #1)

by Delemhach

“Well, my love, you aren’t so darn handsome for no reason. Your father was the same back then, and when I saw him, it was like I’d been struck by a vision from the Goddess. He was so passionate, and in the beginning so … vibrant. His ideas back then weren’t as radical as when you were a child …” Fin could hear sleep claiming his mother, but she managed one final phrase. “To be honest, I barely knew him. That’s love though, you pick someone you like and play the hand that your choice deals you.” Fin’s spine went rigid.

“You’re not being cruel. You’re being an ass. I know what I cannot have, and I have made the right decisions to protect someone I care about, and yet you seem to think it a kindness to rub my face in what I’ve sacrificed. Get out of my kitchen.”

“I know you’ve had life kick the shit out of you more than a couple of times, I don’t mean to add another blow. Just know, I promise I’ll take care of her.” “… What kind of two-faced tadger are you?” Fin’s voice sounded ragged with restraint. “Fin, I—” “Gods, Jiho, you started as a dockworker shit on by everyone, when did you getting a lucky break mean you got to take your turn dousing us peasants with your nonsense? Especially those of us who were there for you when you were on death’s bloody doorstep?” Fin only took a single breath before continuing. He knew the ale had loosened his tongue and deadened his mind, but he couldn’t hold back any longer.

“You’ve become a pretentious fuck. I don’t want to be a noble and I’ve accepted that that means I have to take some thicker lumps at times, but why do you get to look down on me for choosing a profession I like? I can’t be with someone I … I … For the love of— Jiho, I am trying to be a decent person here. Yet you’re using the knowledge that that’s exactly who I am to kick me while I’m down. What the hell? We were friends!”

“Because you could make a Godsdamn difference. You know what it is like to be kicked around, you could help change that! But you don’t want to!” Jiho’s volume had risen exponentially as he stood slowly and glowered at Fin.

“Fin, if you’re in love with Annika and want her, then for the love of Gods do something about it before you blow the castle up,” Jiho remarked, despite every hair on his arm rising up and pulling his flesh upward as though begging him to flee. “Oh sure. I’ll have her denounce her title and have her wealth be taxed until it dwindles next to nothing as punishment for her disobedience against the king. I’ll stop her committing to the necessary political marriage that would save the country. She’ll be alienated from the only true friends she has ever had, all to toil her days away bearing my children and cleaning our cottage.”

The only coherent thought he managed through the pleasant haze was: Might as well get fired if I’m so set on burning bridges.

“Mr. Ashowan? Is the servants’ breakfast coming soon?” Ruby’s voice sounded from the corridor, and each aide glanced at each other anxiously. Fin replied before any of them could stop him. “Sssure thiiing Ruby! Fruit salad an’ bacon!” Everyone held their breaths, hoping the Head of Housekeeping wouldn’t attempt to investigate further. “Very well, just be quick about it!” The sound of her footfalls faded, and the group breathed easier once again.

All the fruit flew back into the air and began spinning and tilting in sync with one another, while also color coordinating themselves and heading toward the kitchen door. In other words, the fruits were dancing … and were oddly coordinated, despite their inebriated master. “… We’re so screwed.” Sir Andrews slapped both palms to his face.

Fin snapped his fingers and continued dancing to silent music in his head. He then began to sing slightly out of tune.

As they had sung, the food had slowed its previously frantic dancing and sorted itself onto well-organized platters of the nearly burnt bacon and … ham. Apparently, Fin had also roasted a ham prior to their arrival.

“I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m shitting enough bricks to build a house.” Sir Andrews turned and stared at the red-cheeked cook, who was already sending his tankard back to the ale barrel.

“We’ll make the drunk in the corner add fruit to compensate.” “Eyyyyyyy,” Fin called out in reply with a bleary smile stretched across his face. “Gods,” Hannah muttered before they all sprang into action. “How could this day get any worse?”

“I swear to the Gods none of you will be punished—unless you fail to tell me where the emotionally stunted giant redhead is.” “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bread,” Sir Harris said carefully as he poured a cup of water from a pitcher on the cook’s table. “It’s bed not bread,” Lord Ryu snapped as he continued glaring at the entire staff. “Oh no. In your case it’s bread. You are crusty in more ways than one this morning, my lord.” Sir Harris offered Lord Ryu the cup of water with a cheeky smile.

“Well. You certainly know how to make a splash when meeting new people.” Sir Harris feigned a hurt expression.

Hannah opened her mouth after another beat of silence, when there was a low moan from under the potato bags. Slowly, pulling his tunic over his head and sending several potatoes cascading free from their sacks, Fin sat up.

“You sent me leagues into the forest, you idiot!” Jiho seethed before his nose suddenly wrinkled. “Gods, you reek. Have you just been drinking endlessly while your staff scrambles to cover for you?!”

“You have a team of people that are risking getting flogged and demoted for you, without knowing a single reason as to why! A team who has to know you’re a bloody witch because there is no way that they prepared an entire breakfast without any help from you. You’re going to screw over these good people, destroy your reputation as a cook, and our friendship because you won’t go after her?”

“Is it because you think I will let you drink as much as you like and I’ll make you as good as new whenever you please? Because I said it to you before when you tried your first drink and I’ll say it again now; if you choose to be an idiot, you will suffer like an idiot!” Fin said nothing in defense, only nodded quietly while slowly rubbing his face.

Katelyn’s jaw set as she turned with flashing eyes to her son. “I have never been disappointed in you before today. I cannot believe you are my son. That you would abandon your staff like this …” she trailed off angrily, and Fin’s cheeks flamed red as he fixed his eyes on the ground.

Fin raised both hands to his face and rubbed aggressively. “You’ve always been terrible about hiding your nonsense,” Jiho muttered to himself. “That’s exactly what I’ve been saying!” Hannah chimed in, shaking her head and crossing her arms over her chest. “We have no idea why you want to hide the fact that you’re a witch, or why you won’t pursue Lady Je—”

“You do not know what witches face. There is still a large group of people that have hung onto anger and hate for our kind out of fear. Fin once saved his best friend from drowning, but because he didn’t use his magic to do so, everyone scorned him. They assumed Fin thought he was better than them and wouldn’t waste magic on a normal human. They stoned my boy, and called him horrible names for years, and he has been alone—”

“You’re limited on your own, we can all see that now—you seem to have the emotional maturity of a chicken,” Jiho started glibly. “But you’re a good person. You deserve this. So what if your path isn’t straightforward? When has anything in your life been obvious? You’re usually pretty good at turning a bad situation around, and now when it seems like there isn’t any other way, all of a sudden you have all of us here wanting to help. Seems a bit too much of a coincidence, don’t you think? Why not go where the water’s pulling you?” A corner of Jiho’s mouth lifted and his brilliant white teeth flashed.

“Please. Women say that knowing men’s propensity to be slow as snails. We have a separate deadline than the one we say. Whether we realize it or not.”

“I don’t have a father, Lord Piereva. So whether or not a stranger cares about my livelihood, or lack thereof, matters little to me. Though I must confess, I am quite curious what kind of deal you think I should be agreeing to. Particularly with a man who sounds about as trustworthy as your even-tempered moments.”

“I’ll always be watching you, Mr. Helmer. I suggest you act cautiously.” The smug smile Lord Piereva bore after calling Fin by Aidan’s last name almost made Fin blow him farther into the forest than he had Jiho. “Ah—I understand you’ve been travelling a great deal this year, and that taxes the mind, but my last name is Ashowan. I can write it down for you if you’d like to bring me some parchment and ink.”

“Your blond aide? I’ve been hearing the strangest stories about her from the knights here at the castle,” Jiho speculated with a small frown. “You two should chat more. She nearly killed a man with my frying pan, you’d like her.” Fin’s mild tone did little to fix Jiho’s alarm. “She what?!” “It’s fine, he was going to try and stab someone.” Jiho closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. “Why is everyone around you insane?”

“You see, cook, we uh … we kinda guessed a while ago you’d want to go to the ball, so we’ve been … preparing things for you,” Sir Taylor began slowly. Fin was rendered momentarily speechless. Once he recovered, however, his cheeks had brightened up like one of his delicious cherry tarts.

Words died in Fin’s throat as Hannah reached into a basket hidden behind a crate of onions and drew out a fine black linen tunic, coat, and trousers. The coat was embroidered with gold thread and looked fit for a member of nobility.

“Do you know how dangerous that is for us?!” Hannah exploded. Sir Harris turned to the two women with his hands on his hips. “Before I say anything else, I’d just like to say: Hannah, we all know that knight would be in far more danger from you than you from him if we were all nearby and Fin loaned you his pan.” Hannah continued to glower darkly up at him.

“Because of all of us, I am the most likely person to be killed after unintentionally infuriating someone.” “You mean you don’t do it on purpose?!” Hannah remarked mortified.

“Come on. Where’s the daredevil, the legend of a man who ran naked around the castle?” Peter said nothing for a moment as he continued to glare at him. “Who here told this big-mouth about that?” Peter demanded icily. “I learned things myself about everyone that night, you know.”

“You helped everyone who’s ever needed it, of course we’d do the same,” Hannah explained, as though it should’ve been obvious. Fin swallowed with great difficulty. “Thank you, everyone. Truly, no one has ever done anything like this for me before.”

“No need to be shy, just about everyone has had a crush on him. He’s a tough slice to butter, though.” Peter shook his head slowly, still smiling intently at the knight. Sir Dawson swallowed with great difficulty. He would not let this servant distract him.

“Do you sweet talk your way into every bed in the castle with these distasteful compliments?” Sir Dawson blurted out before he was able to stop himself.

The men all stood up swiftly at the same time. Their jaws had dropped roughly around the time that the Troivcakian knight had flirted back with Peter, and they all remained open. “What the hell just happened?!” Sir Taylor balked as he tried to comprehend exactly what he had just seen. Sir Harris let out a small laugh of disbelief. “I think our dear friend Peter might be partaking in an intimate nightcap with one of the knights close to Lord Piereva!”

“Th-Thank you everyone for coming to my ball. I like your costumes a lot, and I hope you all have fun.” With his cheeks turning a deep crimson, Eric stepped back beside his father. It was obvious to Fin that the boy was fighting against the impulse to hide behind the king.

“Well, you see, I intend to offer myself as a candidate for your hand this evening.” Fin bowed and offered his upturned palm, while his other tucked his goblet behind his back.

“Tell me, have you come to hate witches and stubborn cooks? If so, that might prove fatal to my cause.” Despite his forced, dry tone, Fin’s heart was in his throat as he slowly tipped his hat up away from his eyes and gazed down into Annika’s stricken stare.

“I’m sorry I was a stubborn ass. I … I don’t expect you to forgive me for being a coward, but … I had to tell you … even if I’m too late. Just in case there is still a chance.” “Tell me that you’ll buy better socks?” she bit back, gripping onto his coat all the tighter. “No. That I love you.”

“I will trust you completely. Whatever plans you have, whatever you say you want, wherever you want us to go. I will trust you.” He released one of her hands, but gently gripped the other and hid it between them so no prying eyes could see. “I know you better than I know most people, and I know you will do everything in your power to make things work out. If you will still have me … I just want to be there with you.”

“I’m not alone anymore because of you, and even if you say no and want me to bugger off into an open grave, I want you to know that you’ve changed my life. I—”

“I don’t have anything to offer other than the fact that I am capable of changing for the better, and I am trying every day. I want to someday be good enough to be your home. If you still think that you’d like to take a risk on me, I will do everything I can to make sure you never regret it for a single day.”

“Let me go! I don’t care if he’s a cook! Fin made my cake! He worked so hard; he should be up here! I’m going to bring him up and you can’t stop me!” Tears ran down Eric’s face. “I want Ruby here too, and Kraken! Hannah is nice, what about my governess? This isn’t fair!”

“My my. I must say, I haven’t ever seen the prince be calmed by someone so easily, except by a certain Royal Cook.” Fin felt his blood freeze as he slowly turned to see the delighted expression of Reese Flint. “Well, hello there, Captain Handsome, having fun this evening?”

“I wish Ashowan and Mage Lee could see this,” the king called over the music, as the captain succumbed to uncontrollable laughter. They were unaware that the house witch was a mere twenty feet away and equally as delighted as them.

“Don’t ever be afraid to give an emotional shove to that stubborn ass. Even if it’s over a cliff.”

“Where’s my knight?” Lord Piereva barked, striding farther into the kitchen until he was in front of Fin’s table. Sighing, Fin set the pan down and placed his hands on his hips. “Well, let’s retrace your steps. Where did you last leave him?” “I’m in no mood for your smartass remarks,” Lord Piereva growled while Sir Wickfield’s eyes gleamed. The man was salivating over the promise of violence.

“The earl needs a doctor?” Sir Wickfield looked at his master worriedly. Before Lord Piereva could say anything, Fin jumped in yet again. “Of course he does. It is unwise to leave that stick up his ass for too long—it could become infected.”

“Lady Keely Hawkins? I believe she was dressed as a colorful fish this evening. Bright pink, if I recall.”