Exasperating (Elite Protection Services #3)

by Onley James

Jesus taught about love and being good. He didn’t want them to punish one another.

“Go ahead. She won’t stop nagging until you do. She’s powered by gay tears.”

“You fucked his wife…and his son.” Yep. There it was. What could he say? “Not at the same time?”

“Did they die?” he drawled, letting the Texan seep into his voice. “No. In fact, it might be the first time they ever truly lived. My dick changes lives, man.” “Stop sticking your magical dick in my clients,” Linc boomed.

Hell, at this point Jackson might as well call this place Elite Protection and Matchmaking Services. I submit that I’m being unfairly targeted and punished not because I fuck our clients but because I just refuse to marry all of them afterward, and honestly, it’s starting to feel a bit like discrimination.”

“Assaulting a police officer? Angel face in there? The kid is the personification of a basket of kittens. What did he assault him with? Kindness?” Linc’s lips twitched as he tried to keep a straight face. “A twelve-inch black dildo known as the ‘hole wrecker.’”

“Come on, angel face. I’m gonna give you a ride.” Charlie choked on a laugh. “Well, damn, Calder. Right here in the conference room. I thought only Linc was allowed to do that.” “Get thee behind me, hooker Barbie. I have no time for your forked tongue today.

“Don’t fall for his stupid lines, Robby, the only shower you’ll need is one of those Silkwood decontamination showers. That dude’s dick has given more rides than Uber.” Calder clicked his tongue. “Oh, don’t be like that. I heard you love Uber.”

He was twenty-one years old and people treated him like he had an invisible forcefield nobody wanted to penetrate, and Robby really wanted somebody to penetrate him.

He didn’t want just somebody. He wanted Calder.

“Is that what you really want?” A million thoughts assaulted Robby at once. No. Not at all. Stay with me. Fuck me. Spend the night. Spend the rest of your life. Or mine.

Was this what kissing always felt like? If kissing Calder felt like this, what would actual sex feel like?

He couldn’t remember the last time anybody had captured his attention the way Robby did.

“Calder needs to settle down with someone, and the only person who can tame a manwhore is a virgin, and of-age virgins are like unicorns.”

“What makes you two think I’m a virgin?” Charlie gave him a pitying gaze. “Oh, sweetie. If we were villagers, you’d be the first one we’d chuck into a volcano to appease the gods.”

“Who lives in the real world? We live in Lalaland. You are a twenty-one-year-old virgin who was raised in a cult. I’m in the movies. Wyatt makes money on YouTube. Your ex-boyfriend left you for a dude who’s probably a serial killer. The real world doesn’t apply to people like us.

Why did Robby keep putting himself in situations where he never got what he wanted? Where he was forced to pine for a guy who didn’t even know he was alive.

“First, he beats a cop with a sex toy, and now, he’s murdered a man with a cheese knife. This boy is either a secret assassin or a walking disaster.”

It didn’t make sense, but he just wanted to protect this boy’s soft heart but also couldn’t stop thinking about all the ways he wanted to violate his perfect body.

“Seems like a lot of responsibility at your age.” Robby shrugged. “I know what it’s like to be invisible, for nobody to want you. I couldn’t stomach the thought of him living the rest of his life feeling unloved.”

Calder was certain that man existed out there somewhere, but fuck if he didn’t wish it was him.

Robby wanted to be worth breaking the rules for, just once.

His already flushed face grew splotchy as he blinked back unshed tears. Shit. Why was Calder always making him cry? “No. Don’t do that. Fuck. You’re breaking my heart here, angel.

Kissing Robby was easily Calder’s new favorite thing.

“If they come at me from the front, hand to nose, knee to groin. If they come at me from the back, elbow to the ribs, heel to instep. I’ve seen Miss Congeniality, too, you know. I’ve got it.”

“I hate when you cry, angel. You’re breaking my heart. I’ve got you. Okay?

This was his life now. Overrun and bossed around by two twinks and a scary brunette with no filter.

“What’s on your mind, sweetness?” A million answers raced through his mind. Kiss me, fuck me, love me, keep me.

“Make me come, please.” “See. You did so good. Good boy.” Robby sucked in a sharp breath, cock throbbing at Calder’s casual praise. “You like that, angel? You like being my good boy?”

He didn’t want anybody touching Robby. The boy was his. Just his.

Calder would have found it hot if he wasn’t picturing ripping the boys’ arms off and beating them to death with them.

“I want you inside me. I want you to take my virginity. I won’t tell anybody. Nobody will ever have to know but us. Please? I want it to be you. It’s supposed to be you. I’ve known it since the second I saw you.”

“What…what am I to you?” Calder brought his forehead to Robby’s. “Fuck, angel. I don’t know. Special? Important? Cared for? More than you should be but too much for me to push you away?”

“I need you to trust me. Can you do that?” “Yes. I trust you.” Calder stared down at him for a long minute. “Fuck, you’re so sweet. I don’t know where you came from, because I don’t deserve you, but I’m glad you’re here. I need you to believe that.” “I do.”

You and the wonder twins are about as subtle as a Mack truck.”

“Think you can take another finger?” “I could probably take a tractor trailer back there by now,” Robby grumbled. “That’s the spirit,” Calder said around a laugh.

“You know what? Fine. But I want you to know that I now owe Wyatt a thousand fucking dollars and I’m taking it out of your yearly fucking bonus. You know how smug he’s going to be about this? I hope this kid’s worth it.”

“Angel, I love you, too, but I have to tell you, you have a flair for being dramatic.”

I knew the minute he saw us together he’d see what everybody probably sees when I’m with you, and that’s that you own me, sweetness. I’d do anything for you.”

“Places aren’t home, angel. People are.”

“I feel like we’re going to need a crime scene clean up crew,” Robby teased. “‘Cause I murdered that ass?” Calder teased. Robby groaned. “Ugh. Why are you like this?” “I don’t know, but you fell for me, so what does that say about you?” Calder challenged.

What was wrong with him? Wasn’t it a good thing if the person you loved thought of you as more than you actually were? Wasn’t that the best possible outcome?

You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, inside and out.

People like you never really existed in my world, and I have no idea how we got here but this is where I want to be. You are who I want. Just you. Only you.”

“I’m scared, too. Of everything. But I’m less scared when I’m with you.” Calder leaned his forehead against Robby’s. “I’m less scared with you, too, angel.”