Exasperating (Elite Protection Services #3)

by Onley James

“That’s some outfit you got there, kitty cat,” Charlie said before hissing and meowing. “I don’t think anybody dressed like a mobster’s mistress gets to point fingers at my fashion choices,” Robby managed, not even bothering to open his eyes. Charlie snickered. “Oh, kitty’s got claws. I like it. You’re way more fun since Elijah broke your heart.”

Charlie sucked in a breath. “Oh, no. I’m sorry. Come to mama. Let it all out.” She patted her lap. Robby eyed her warily, annoyed that he wanted to let this strange girl comfort him, but Wyatt gave him a gentle shove and a reassuring smile. “Go ahead. She won’t stop nagging until you do. She’s powered by gay tears.”

Charged silence filled the room as Linc fixed him with a dead stare. “You fucked his wife…and his son.” Yep. There it was. What could he say? “Not at the same time?”

“Stop sticking your magical dick in my clients,” Linc boomed.

I submit that I’m being unfairly targeted and punished not because I fuck our clients but because I just refuse to marry all of them afterward, and honestly, it’s starting to feel a bit like discrimination.”

“Assaulting a police officer? Angel face in there? The kid is the personification of a basket of kittens. What did he assault him with? Kindness?” Linc’s lips twitched as he tried to keep a straight face. “A twelve-inch black dildo known as the ‘hole wrecker.’” Calder turned back to look at the boy who was adamantly not looking in their direction any longer. When he turned back around, he and Linc both started to laugh.

Calder stopped at the conference room door where Robby sat snuggling his demonic looking dog. “Come on, angel face. I’m gonna give you a ride.” Charlie choked on a laugh. “Well, damn, Calder. Right here in the conference room. I thought only Linc was allowed to do that.” “Get thee behind me, hooker Barbie. I have no time for your forked tongue today. I’ve been asked to take the boy home and make sure he gets to his apartment okay.”

Robby felt himself sulking. “What makes you two think I’m a virgin?” Charlie gave him a pitying gaze. “Oh, sweetie. If we were villagers, you’d be the first one we’d chuck into a volcano to appease the gods.”

“No,” Charlie cried. “We need to plot a plan or plan a plot. What am I saying?” “Beats me, Dr. Seuss,” Wyatt muttered.

Linc chided. “There’s something about this kid that’s got you by the short ones, which I have to admit, I find…amusing.” “Happy to help,” Calder muttered.

Robby shrugged. “I know what it’s like to be invisible, for nobody to want you. I couldn’t stomach the thought of him living the rest of his life feeling unloved.”

Charlie: Oh, I’m picking up what you’re putting down. You wanna pull a Clinton. That’s perfect. Get him to do everything but the sexing, and eventually, he will throw it all away for that sweet ass of yours. Robby: Why are you like this? Charlie: Hard to say, really. Wyatt: Ignore her. You’ve got this. Be brave. Be bold. Be flexible. Charlie: Yeah. Go out there and suck a dick for the greater good.

“Calder Seton, life coach. How very LA of you,” Robby mused. Calder grinned, wiggling his brows. “I prefer your sexual sensei.” Robby rolled his eyes. “Of course, you do.”

This was his life now. Overrun and bossed around by two twinks and a scary brunette with no filter.

“Angel, I love you, too, but I have to tell you, you have a flair for being dramatic.”

Calder was softening inside him and they were both sweaty, but Robby didn’t care. “Wow,” he managed breathlessly. Calder nodded against his shoulder. “Yeah. Wow. I think we’re probably going to need another shower.” “I feel like we’re going to need a crime scene clean up crew,” Robby teased. “‘Cause I murdered that ass?” Calder teased. Robby groaned. “Ugh. Why are you like this?”

“Stop saying that. How can you not see how fucking special you are? I’ve wanted you since the minute I laid eyes on you and not because you were forbidden fruit and not because you were some innocent little virgin. You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, inside and out. You live in the most shallow place in the world, yet you somehow manage to stay sweet and gentle. You adopt unadoptable dogs, and you stay friends with a person even after they hurt you, and you say what’s on your mind even when you’re terrified. People like you never really existed in my world, and I have no idea how we got here but this is where I want to be. You are who I want. Just you. Only you.” Robby’s mouth was suddenly bone dry. “I just want you, too.”