Cross Checked Hearts (Wyncote Wolves, #1)

by Cali Melle

A part of me didn’t want to go, anyway. I knew that he would be there and she would be there with him. Logan Knight. My brother’s best friend.

In front of everyone, he kept me at arm’s length and acted like I was his little sister. When no one was looking, he would sneak into my room and hold me in his arms until the sun rose. He whispered his secrets into my soul and marked my skin with his lips. His light caresses and featherlike kisses were only for me to know about.

August quietly closes his bedroom door and I pull my covers closer to my chin. Logan was supposed to be with him, but he must have gone home with her. His girlfriend. I can’t be mad at him for it. He’s with her, not me.

“Well, all of the guys missed you.” He pauses as he rests his forehead against the back of my head. “You know that we’re all leaving tomorrow morning for camp.” “Yeah, I know,” I grit out, my chest tightening at the painful reminder. His words hit a nerve and I instantly feel guilty for not going. They were all like family and I should have been there to say bye to everyone instead of letting my jealousy get to me. “Was Renee there?” Logan falls silent for a moment, but his fingers don’t stop moving across my stomach. “Yeah, why?” I shrug against him, mentally kicking myself for even bringing up her name. Jealousy is something that I’ve struggled so hard with. Logan isn’t mine—he never was mine. There’s no reason to be feeling the pinch in my heart.

Logan shrugs, flattening his palm along the side of my face. “I don’t have time for a girlfriend right now. Especially one who is going to be on the other side of the country.” He pauses, chewing on his bottom lip as he cups the side of my face. “I need to focus on hockey more than anything.” It feels like a punch to the gut, but I sigh at his brutal honesty.

“Isla,” he whispers, slowly stroking the side of my face as his eyes fall shut. “You just don’t get it, do you?”

“You are a constant in my life. And I hate the fact that I’m going to be leaving you. The fact that I won’t see you almost every single day. I won’t see you sitting in the stands, cheering me on at every game.”

“That’s not the same. I’m going to miss you—this.” “I know what this really is.” My voice is clipped and tears prick my eyes, threatening to spill at any given moment. “I’m your dirty little secret. You’ve always used me as a distraction and honestly, it feels pretty shitty thinking about how you’ve kept this hidden.” “You think your brother would be okay with this? Your parents? Shit, Isla… you’re my best friend’s little sister. You have to know that no one else would understand or accept this.” I narrow my eyes at him. “Since when do you give a shit about what anyone else thinks?” “This is different,” he insists, reaching for me again. “August is like my brother. Your parents are like my second parents. All of you are my fucking family.” “So, you think you could just play with my heart all of these years and it wouldn’t affect me?” My voice cracks and the tears begin to fall. I don’t even bother trying to stop them as they stream down the sides of my face. “That I wouldn’t want something more than just this?”

“This, between us, it was never just a distraction. I got greedy and wanted a taste of what we could have had if things would have been different.” “That’s not even fair,” I whisper as he brushes the tears away from my face. “You know, I’ve had a crush on you for as long as I could remember. And you gave me little bits and pieces of yourself, even if it was just a secret. I took it to heart and read into it more than I should have. I thought you felt the same way about me.” His hand falls still on the side of my face. “You think I don’t feel the same way?” His face contorts in pain and his eyes are glazed over as he stares down at me. “The way I feel about you is the reason why I can’t let this be anything.”

“Logan?” I whisper his name, inhaling the scent of his cologne and the whiskey on his breath as he exhales softly. “Promise me that you won’t forget about me after you leave.” “I could never forget you, even if I tried.” I tilt my head a little, looking up at him. “That wasn’t a promise.” Logan chuckles softly as he plants his warm lips against my forehead, warming my soul. “I promise.”

There was no reason for Logan to come back to Clifton Falls since his mother was his only family. There was nothing left here for him… except me. He made a promise that he wouldn’t forget about me, but given his absence, I think it’s safe to say he broke that promise.

Logan was never mine. And chances are he never will be.

She looks just as I remembered her, yet there’s something different about her. Her body has matured more, filling out the curves of her petite frame, but it’s more than just physical. The way she looks at me now, not with hearts in her eyes as she once did… it’s almost as if the light dimmed. Like she knows better now. Is there someone else who occupies her thoughts and her time now?

She’s my best friend's little sister. The girl that I grew up protecting as if she were my own. It’s Isla fucking Whitley—and just because we kissed a few times in the past, doesn’t mean a damned thing now.

Isla was the one person that I let close enough, that I could let my guard down with and tell her all of my secrets. The connection between us was never deniable, but it was something I knew neither of us could ever act on.

Isla deserved more than I could give her. She deserved to be with someone that her family would approve of. I’m fairly certain her brother might strangle me if he ever found out there was something between us. He trusted me to look after her like she was my own sister.

I’ve missed her presence—everything about her. She’s still the Isla I remember. The quiet girl who liked to absentmindedly doodle in notepads and listen to soft classical melodies. The one who always paid attention and watched the world going on around her. The beautiful girl who only had eyes for me. My Isla… Now, I just need to remember to keep my hands to myself.

All I wanted was for him to love me. Now, looking back at how his past relationships went, Logan was right when he said that I deserved more than him. I wouldn’t want the relationships that those other girls had with Logan. And if there’s one thing that will always remain untouchable—it’s our friendship. Things are better this way and that’s what I need to be my driving force.

“Did you decide what you’re hungry for?” Logan asks me as he rises from my bed, and August slips out of my room. Shaking my head, I give him an apologetic smile. “I don’t know what’s good around here. I was thinking maybe you guys could just take me somewhere that you both like.” “Babe, you’re not twenty-one yet…” His voice trails off for a moment as he tilts his head to the side. My heart skips a beat at the sound of that word coming from his mouth. It’s been so long since he called me that, but he acts unaffected—like it didn’t even happen. “Although, there is a sports bar nearby that has good food and an actual restaurant part.” I swallow back my heart as it attempts to climb into my throat and nod.

If I were smart, I would tell my brother that I want to go stay in the dorm room that I was supposed to. I hate the way Logan looks at me, because I secretly love it. The way it makes me feel, knowing I have his attention. And it’s as if every time the smallest moment happens, I’m reminded it could never happen. How am I supposed to let go of my feelings for him when he’s sleeping in the room across the hall from me?

“He said something about some sports bar that has a restaurant too.” August smirks, nodding as he sits back in his chair. “O’Hallarans. There’s this sexy bartender that works there that I’ve been meaning to catch up with.” I don’t hear Logan as he walks up behind me, but I can smell the faint scent of his cologne and shampoo as he enters the room. “Poppy?” Logan chuckles as he walks past both of us at the table and stops by the island in the kitchen. “I think you fucked that up last time, man.” “Fuck you,” August growls at him as he gets up from his seat. “If anyone fucked it up, it was that dumb-ass chick you brought home that night I finally got Poppy to come hang out.” My body falls rigid and I so desperately want to cover my ears, but I can’t draw that kind of attention to myself. I don’t want to hear about Logan and another girl. My heart clenches in my chest and my lungs burn as I hold my breath.

I’ve conditioned her to not know what to expect from me and I want to change that. “I wanted to apologize to you, for the way I left.” Her eyebrows draw close together and she tilts her head to the side. “I don’t know why you’re apologizing. I didn’t expect for you to be there in the morning. It was kind of the way you did things back then, Logan.” My throat constricts and her words feel like a blade to my heart. “I know, but I should have at least said goodbye, but I was too much of a coward. I knew if I saw you that morning, you would have had the power to make me stay.” Isla’s lips part slightly, her chest rising and falling with shallow breaths as her eyes widen. “Logan… I would never ask you to give up your dreams.”

“I knew how I felt about you then. Just one look from you would have had me questioning my entire future.” Isla takes a gulp of her water, her throat bobbing roughly as she swallows. “We don’t have to do this, Logan. I don’t want to go back over the past. It is what it is.”

“I want to be a better friend to you, Isla… if you’ll let me.” Her eyes don’t leave mine, but I watch as her expression transforms into something that resembles hope. The gold and green hues in her warm irises swirl. “You want to just be friends?”

The only two people she knows are me and August. She met a few of the guys we play hockey with, but she doesn’t know them like she knows us. And she has yet to meet anyone who is actually in any of her classes. I partially feel bad for that. I should have offered to take her to try and meet people, but August said he had it all covered. He obviously had his head too far up his ass to make an attempt to show Isla around and she was too kind to bother asking him. That’s just the way Isla operated. Her parents tried to make it seem like they didn’t have favorites when it came to their children, but Isla was always the one who just went with the flow.

She acted as if it didn’t affect her that she spent all of her free time being consumed by her brother and hockey. And because of that, her parents didn’t really see how unfair it was on her, how she missed out on so much with her friends and other girls her age. Isla never wanted to rock the boat or upset anyone, even if it was at the expense of her own happiness.

It’s no different than what she’s been used to her entire life and for the first time in a long time, I really want to just punch her damn brother square in the face.

“What are you doing? I thought you were just dropping me off?” My brows draw together as I tilt my head to the side. “Why would I bother parking in the parking lot? If I were dropping you off, I would have pulled up out front.” She shifts her weight nervously on her feet, adjusting her strap on her shoulder as she gives me a shy smile and shrugs. “I don’t know. I just thought that maybe you didn’t want anyone to see you dropping me off out front or something.” What the fuck?

My heart crawls into my throat and I feel uncomfortable with her admission. She thought I would make her walk across the damn parking lot because I didn’t want anyone to see her getting out of my car? I couldn’t care less what anyone thinks and it leaves me speechless—her thinking I could possibly be embarrassed by being seen with her. I wanted to keep what we had hidden, not her. Never her.

“Don’t discredit yourself, Isla. Don’t you dare give up on your dreams. You deserve to do whatever is going to make you happy and I’ve seen your artwork. I believe in you.” She stares at me for a moment, her expression soft and her eyes growing wet, like this is something that no one has ever said to her. Does no one else believe in this fucking girl? She might not be August Whitley—hockey superstar—but that doesn’t mean a damn thing. She’s Isla fucking Whitley and she can do anything she puts her mind to.

She might not need me, but I need her…

I know how their lives are and I don’t want them to feel like they have to entertain me since I’m August’s little sister that they decided to move into their apartment. Plus, I want this to be my own experience, too, and not be following them around like a lost puppy. Which is why I’m so glad I met Octavia. She’s a freshman as well and moved from Michigan for their art program here. I met her my first day, in clay and sculpture, and it turned out that we actually had a lot of classes together. We hit it off pretty quickly and it was nice to feel like I have a friend to call my own. Someone who is just as lost as I am, but yet we still have enough in common that we don’t struggle to come up with conversation.

I’ve never seen Logan act like this before and I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t excite me. I like seeing him jealous. I like the facade of hope that maybe he does feel something too…

Skating over to August, I help him get the pucks off the ice. “I think that Isla went with some of her friends, so I kind of want to make sure she’s okay. You know how those parties can get.” My stomach sinks and my jaw clenches as I skate to the other end of the rink and grab the other net before pushing it off the ice. I don’t fucking like it, and the thought of Isla being at a frat party makes my blood boil. Half of the guys there are pigs and she’s fresh meat. She’s an easy target, with how goddamn innocent and kind she is. Not to mention the fact that she looks like she was sent here from heaven. There’s no way in hell I’m not going to that party now.

As bad as it sounds, the only thing on my mind right now is getting to that party and making sure that Isla is good. I know August is concerned about his little sister being in a place with new people. Her first college party. But concerned doesn’t even begin to touch how I’m feeling. Possessive. Protective. Fucking jealous as hell thinking about her there with her douchebag friend that she made.

This is how August operates, though. He doesn’t form any real attachments because he couldn’t commit if he wanted to. He’s got an issue and a phobia of it. The only thing he fully commits to is hockey and I can’t blame him for that. People in life will lie and leave. They’ll leave you without hesitation and never reach out again—just like my own fucking dad. Hockey is one thing that will never leave… it will never let you down.

“You have two options, asshole.” His voice is low, his tone harsh as he pins his gaze on Silas’s and rips the cigarette from his fingers and tosses it onto the ground. “Either you remove your arm from her shoulders or I remove it from your fucking body.” “Ah… Logan fucking Knight.” Silas pauses, a harsh laugh falling from his lips. “How rich is this? I should have expected you to swoop in and pull some shit like this. This is what you and August always do, isn’t it?” Logan narrows his eyes at Silas while he cracks his knuckles. “Now.” “Fuck,” Silas mutters as he pulls his arm away and glances at me. “You’re cool with this?”

“What the fuck was that? I don’t need you to keep an eye on me, okay? I can handle myself.” “Bullshit,” he mutters, shaking his head as a shadow passes over his expression. “You’re drunk as shit and if I wouldn’t have showed up, he would have definitely been taking you upstairs to one of the bedrooms.” My eyebrows pinch together. “And that’s any of your business because…? Last time I checked, you aren’t in charge of me, Logan. What I do, does not concern you.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, babe.” His voice is low, soft and warm, just like his palms on me. “Everything you do will always concern me.”

“You’re not my keeper, Knight.” I glare up at him, feeling my body sway on unsteady legs. “You don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do.” Logan’s face falls and he tilts his head to the side with a pained look in his eyes. “Don’t do that,” he whispers, his voice strained. My eyebrows pinch together. “Do what?” “Don’t call me Knight, like everyone else.” “Your friends call you Knight.” I roll my eyes in a dramatic fashion before pushing past him. “I’m just making sure that I’m playing the part right.”

I don’t have time for these games with him. He wants to be friends, then he needs to act like my friend instead of some jealous and possessive boyfriend.

I gasp in shock as I’m spun around and find Logan in my face, pushing me backward. He pushes me back through a door into the laundry room. “What are you doing?” I ask him, my voice hoarse as he corners me. My back hits the wall as he plants his palms on either side of my head, caging me in. My tongue darts out to lick my lips as I stare into the depths of his ocean eyes. “Logan…” “I don’t know how to be your friend, Isla.” He moves one hand from the wall, sliding it along the side of my face as he cups my cheek. His thumb is soft as he strokes my skin. “What if I don’t want you to play the part anymore?”

“You don’t want to be friends?” A ghost of a smile plays on his lips as he shakes his head. “I never wanted to be your friend.” Logan slides his hand around the back of my neck as his mouth crashes into mine. His lips are warm and soft against mine, just as I remember him. It’s like we’re thrust back in time, to a different place, a different moment—but we’re not. We’re not in high school, sneaking touches and kisses when no one’s looking. This isn’t just a dream or a memory… This is really happening.

Isla was always the one thing that was consistent in my life and feeling her this close again makes me regret ever missing a moment with her.

I know August is lurking around here somewhere. I don’t even care at this point. Let him fucking find us. Let this all go up in flames.

As hard as I’ve tried, I’ve never been able to get you out of my head.” She stares up at me, frowning, which confuses me. “You told me that I deserved better than you, so why would you waste your time being stuck on me?" “Because even though I don’t deserve you, that doesn’t mean there’s anyone who comes close to you. I refuse to settle for anything less than greatness, baby. And that’s exactly what you are.”

“Why do you sell yourself short?” she asks quietly, holding on to me as her legs grow tired. “You exude confidence, yet you don’t see yourself the way you make others see you. It’s like you only see yourself in a negative light and I disagree with everything you say about yourself, Logan. You're the best person I know.” This girl melts my heart with her sweetness, just like she always has. She’s quiet, constantly observing the world around her. She can read people like no one I’ve ever met, always able to sympathize and make someone feel as if they are someone. Like they’re important and actually mean something. She has a gift with people, one that I would never be able to obtain.

“Your brother is my best friend,” I remind her quietly as I try to not kill the mood between us. “He knows all of my secrets and shortcomings. Do you really think he would approve if he knew about this?” “I don’t know,” she says softly, her voice somber. “But I know August would support whatever makes me happy. And if he knew the truth, I don’t think he would be as against it as you think he would.”

I catch August’s eyes through the doorway that leads into the living room. His eyebrows draw together when he sees Isla in my arms and he pushes through the crowd as he rushes over to us. “What’s going on?” he questions me, his eyes scanning Isla with a worried look passing through them. “Is she okay?” “She’s fine,” I tell him, pausing as she adjusts slightly in my arms. “She just had a little too much to drink so I was going to take her back to the apartment.” A sigh of relief escapes August and the worried expression leaves his face as he glances back into the living room. “I’ll head home with you guys too.”

When I get her home, she’s not sleeping alone and I don’t really want August to be there when I climb into bed with her. It’s always easier to ask for forgiveness than it is for permission. I’ll deal with him in the morning after he will most likely find us together in bed.