Daisy's Decision (Icehome, #15)

by Ruby Dixon

If I am dissatisfied with anything, it is that D’see is so miserable. Every day, she retreats further from the laughing, playful person she was and into a miserable shell. I do not know how to fix it. I do not even know how to try. Nothing I do brings a smile back to her face, and it tears at me, night and day.

I ache for her and for her sadness.

At the same time, I want to shake her with frustration. Why does D’see think a red mark on her face changes anything? Why can she not see that she is as brilliantly clever as she ever was? That she brings joy with her smile? But she acts as if her life is over and I do not know how to help her.

D’see has held my heart in her small fist from the moment she arrived on this world, all confidence.

“You are strong. Never think you are not.”

She glances over at me, a wry smile on her pink mouth, and her eyes brim with unshed tears. “Veronica worked on me today. Does my face look better? Be honest.” Unable to resist, I reach out and run my fingers through her soft mane. It is longer now, the strands fine and clinging to my work-roughened hands. I would give anything for D’see to lean into my caress, but she only watches me with intent, hopeful eyes. “Your mane is longer. The color is different.” “But my face?” I pause. “Less red?” She bites her lip. “But still ugly.” “Never ugly. Never.” She does not understand that when I look at her, I do not see scars. I see the bright-eyed, eager female who gave up a life of ease because she wished so desperately for a true mate and a family of her own. She is yet that female, and she is still perfection to me. Her face could be riddled with thick, ugly scars and she would take my breath away every time she smiled. “You are cruel to yourself.”

“Your food is way better.” “I know.” It fills me with secret pride to hear her praise. A hunter should not care if his food is better than sufficient, but I like cooking. I like cooking for her most of all. “If you eat all of this, I will make you the root cakes you like for breakfast.” D’see groans, making a face at me even as she takes another bite. “You drive a hard bargain.”

“D’see,” I begin. “Oh no,” she moans, setting the bowl down immediately and wrapping her arms around her chest as if to protect herself. “What, O’jek? What is it?” I hesitate, then decide the best way to tell is the quickest. “P’nee and S’bren have resonated. Again.” Her face is carefully blank. She blinks once. Twice. Then her lower lip quivers and her face crumples. “I know,” I tell her, and slide closer. I put my arm around her shoulders and when she buries her face against my neck, I hold her tight. “I know.”

“I know,” O’jek tells me, rubbing my back. “I know it makes you sad. I wish I could take the pain away for you.”

“And I dreamed what it would be like to have that for myself. That instead of sitting nearby, untouched and neglected, that someone would want me. Someone would love me. I left that world for a family, and for the chance of love, and yet here I am.” I spread my arms wide, choking on my bitterness. “Just as ignored and unloved as before.” O’jek gives me a look of quiet intensity. “You are not ignored.” He pauses and then adds in a low voice, “And you are not unloved.”

I do want D’see. I do…just not like this. Not like I am her last choice. I am always last choice, and it makes my skin prickle with distaste. It is one reason I have always wished for resonance. For the first time in my life, I will be first to another. I will be the one chosen.

“No, but I am certain you will tell me,” I reply dryly. There is nothing I’rec loves more than giving his opinion.

that reluctant, almost shy smile of his, as if he thinks no one expects him to be happy.

but there’s something so intense about O’jek that draws me to him. Soulful, I decide. Like his emotions are just hiding under the surface and if I scratch away enough, he’ll reveal them to me. He’s absolutely the only one I would want to do this with.

“You are beautiful, D’see, but beauty is not everything.”

His thumb brushes over my knuckles, and I’m oddly entranced by that small, shivery caress.

His tail thumps in the darkness, one loud, quick smack. “So you will spend your days with me learning how to be self-sufficient and we will spend the nights together in the furs?” “Yes,” I say, lifting my chin. “Like a real couple.” “You…realize this is not a hardship for me?” A hint of amusement warms his tone. “I would have given you all of my attentions regardless. All you have to do is ask.” For some reason, that makes me blush. “You don’t know. Maybe being with me won’t be appealing. I’m a virgin, too. I’ve seen how it’s done quite a bit, and I’ve read about it, but I have no practical knowledge. I might be really bad at it for a while and we’ll have to practice.” “D’see,” he murmurs. “If you are thinking to talk me out of this agreement, telling me we shall have to repeatedly mate is not the way to do so.”

We must learn to live our lives in the midst of the storm, yes?”

my hands shake with the need to caress her soft skin. To hear those little moans she makes when my teeth brush over her lips.

She dusts them off near the entrance and then hands me a tiny jar with a stopper in it. “A gift.” “A jar?” I ask, since I know she makes pottery for the tribe. She is getting better with them but I still do not see why I need this jar tonight. “My thanks.” “It’s a cream,” B’shit says. “For sex. In case things aren’t very…lubricated. She’s a virgin, right? She told me that.” She gestures at the jar. “So her first time with a Shadow Cat hunter isn’t as awful as mine.”

“Get out of here and go claim your mate. Make Shadow Cat proud.” “The bar is pretty low,” B’shit calls out as I leave. “Trust me!” A’tam’s low growl is the last sound I hear as I exit.

“It’s okay,” D’see says, pressing a kiss to my shoulder. “We’ll go slow if we need to. We’re just figuring each other out right now, remember?”

I wrap my arms around O’jek, noting how sweaty his skin is as he gasps for breath over me. I’m not upset. For some reason, I saw the worry and stress on his face when he returned, and all I wanted to do was make it go away. I knew our first time wasn’t going to be great if we didn’t have resonance driving us both to wild heights. With both of us being virgins, I figured it was best to just get it over with. Strangely enough, I feel incredibly close to O’jek right now. It’s like he’s shown me the vulnerable side of himself and I intend on protecting it—and him—with all my might. It doesn’t matter to me that he barely came inside my body, or that it hurt intensely while he was trying to squeeze his (admittedly incredibly thick) cock into my dry body. I was hoping the lotion would help with that, but maybe it didn’t do enough. Doesn’t matter.

I press a kiss to his forehead, loving that it’s not plated like the sa-khui one so I can give him kisses here and have him feel it. “Are you okay?” He grunts. “I do not know if I am elated or embarrassed.” I chuckle at that. “You should be elated, not embarrassed. It was fine.”

How did I not ever notice just how adorable O’jek is when he’s grumpy?

There’s a hurt glint in her eyes, though, and I can tell that the teasing bothers her. Did she not realize how the others view her? That they treat her like an exasperating, lazy kit they must all coddle?

Did you use the cream B’shit gave you?” Just how much has I’rec been saying? I bite back a flash of annoyance. “Yes. It did not help much.” “It did not?” U’dron now sounds even more confused. “You put it on her, right?” I turn to look at him. “It was supposed to be on her? I put it…” I gesture at my loincloth area. To his credit, U’dron does not laugh. He shakes his head and steers me away from the fire so we can talk. “No, you put it on your fingers and ease them into her. Play with her cunt. Get it good and slippery, and then your cock will slide in perfectly. It will feel very good, trust me.” He tilts his head, considering. “Though you could always just tongue her cunt until she comes at least twice for the same effect.”

“I do not like hearing his name, because it makes me think of how he was cruel to you.” D’see’s posture changes. The look she gives me is confused. “Cruel? He was never cruel to me.” Does she not see it that way? “He told you of all the ways you should be a good mate to him constantly. How you should look. How you should act. How you should speak.” I pull another layer of furs off of her and toss it aside. “He made you think you are not perfect as you are. And you were in his bed for ten long turns of the seasons and he never touched you. To me, that is cruel.”

I lap at her cunt, desperate for more of that incredible D’see taste. She writhes under me, whimpering, her hips bucking against my mouth. How did I not do this last night? How did I not bury my face between her thighs and lick her taste until dawn? I am an utter fool. This is better than my own release. This is better than anything.

D’see cries out, bucking against my mouth. Her hand goes to my head and she holds me there, grinding against my lips and tongue, her hips quivering and trembling as she shudders against me. I suck harder, teasing and nipping and then sucking again as she jolts under me. Her hand goes to my mane and she twists her fingers into it, digging against my scalp as I continue to work her clit. She stiffens against me, gasping hard, and then I feel her convulse under my grip. She makes a choking sound and then her cunt floods with her release, slippery and wet. Now I am the one groaning, lapping at her as she gasps for air underneath me. “My mate,” I growl, dragging my tongue over her sensitive flesh to glean every bit of her taste. “My beautiful D’see.”

I scrape my teeth against the inside of her thigh, loving the shiver she makes. I gaze down at her cunt with fascination, at the folds of her, some longer than others, all of them framing the nub of her clit. All of it dusky and sensitive. All of it mine. I brush a fingertip through the seam of her, finding the entrance to her body, and it is wettest and slickest here. She bucks against my finger the moment I touch her there, another whimper escaping her throat.

D’see nestles against me, her breath warm on my skin. “What did you think of that? Going down on me?” Is that what it is called? I consider this for a moment. “I think it makes me realize I am selfish.” “What? Why?” She lifts her head, giving me a concerned glance. “Because I should like to practice that often. Very often. Very soon.” I clasp her hand against my chest, pulling her closer. “And that is greedy of me.” She chuckles, burying her face against me again. “Well, you won’t find me complaining.”

O’jek insists upon “practicing” three more times that night, until I’m so wrung out that I can barely function.

He groans again, tilting his head so I can nibble on his ear. Oh, he likes that, then.

The sound he makes is inhuman, and in the next moment, I’m flipped onto my back and his hungry mouth is between my thighs again. I whimper, because his frantic tongue is on my clit, his big arm pinning my legs open and pressed against my chest. Oh god, it’s so good.

“I want to pleasure you,” I manage between gasps. “Please, O’jek. Please let me lick your cock. I’ll make you feel so good.” “Do you know what feels good?” He tells me, voice thick, then dips his tongue into the entrance of my body. “Your thighs trembling as I make you come. The sounds you make when I suck on your clit. The taste of you—”

He doesn’t lift his mouth to agree or disagree. He simply keeps lapping at my clit, my legs trapped, until I’m quivering and convulsing in place. I sound like a wounded animal, but I’m so tender there that I can’t keep the noises that rise out of me silent. My pussy floods with release again, and he makes a pleased sound, not letting me up until he’s licked me clean and I’m twitching, oversensitive, with every brush of his tongue. “The perfect way to greet the dawn,” he murmurs, giving my thigh a pleased kiss.

“Someone hasn’t had the perfect morning yet,” I correct him. “Now it’s my turn.” “D’see—” “Hush,” I tell him, leaning down to lick his cock like a treat. “I’m practicing.” He sucks in a breath the moment my tongue glides over him and goes still. I glance up at him and his eyes are closed, the dancing blue glow entirely gone. His tail thumps the blankets once, hard, and I imagine it to be a demand for more. Grinning to myself, I lick him again and wait for a response. It’s not long in coming. He growls low in his throat and his tail fwaps again.

“You stopped.” “I just wanted to make sure you wanted this? You didn’t seem sure.” I lean down, letting my breath fan over his cockhead, and then dip my tongue briefly—oh so briefly—against the tip. I’m gratified by the choked sound he makes. “What’s that, O’jek?” “D’see…” “Hmm?” I can practically hear his throat working. The words that follow sound as if they’re gritted out between his teeth. “Please practice me.” Oh, I like that.

“You’re okay, aren’t you, Daisy?” Rukhar adds, studying me with a worried expression. “You can come back with us if you’re not. We’ll keep you safe.”

What a little sweetie

“She is healer,” Rukh says, his chopped words growing choppier with his frustration at us. He stabs a finger in my direction. “Day-see needs healing because of burn. Vuh-ron-ca has two small kits and entire tribe to heal. And you decide she needs more work? She is not tired enough? Healer must be there for all, not just Day-see and O’jek.”

“We do not do this to be selfish,” O’jek grits out in a hard voice. He remains standing in front of me, as if he can shield me from Rukh’s disappointment and frustration. “If the healer is too tired, then we will wait until she is not. We do not care if it takes one turn of the moon or one turn of the seasons. D’see and I have chosen to be mated because we have feelings for one another. That has nothing to do with the healer and we do not need permission to share furs. Nor do we need permission to hunt together.”

“We were to follow tracks. Not hunting unless something ran across our path. D’see must learn to read the snows before she can hunt them. And we were to go to the fruit cave.” Rukhar’s face lights up and he looks at his father. “The fruit cave! Can we join them, Dad? Mom would love some fruit. She was just talking about it the other day.” O’jek touches the hand I have on his arm. “Then you are welcome to join us, but our pace is slow so D’see might learn.” “That’s okay,” Rukhar says, beaming at us, and for a moment, his smile is all Harlow. “Mom doesn’t expect us back for a few days. She knows we were following you guys.” He grins up at his father. “This’ll be great. I love fruit.”

He leans in and kisses me, hard and fierce. His mouth is rough over mine, as if he wants to devour me alive, and his teeth scrape my lip. I gasp against him, but then his tongue strokes against mine, and I forget all about everything except him and this heated, reckless kiss. “You are mine,” he breathes as he lifts his lips. Instead of pulling back completely, he rubs his long nose against my smaller one. “My mate. My D’see. And we do not let others tell us how we will live our lives. Understand?” There’s a knot of emotion in my throat at his fierce words. “I just don’t want to disappoint you, too.” “Then do not give up,” he says simply, and rubs his nose against mine one more time.

I say nothing, because if I do, they will be angry words.

I cover her mouth with my hand, and D’see gives me a wide-eyed look. “Should I stop touching you?” I glide my fingers up and down her cleft, and with the cream, she makes wet, slick sounds that make my cock stiffen in response. “Tell me to leave you alone, and I will.” D’see’s gaze meets mine. Slowly, she nudges her thighs farther apart. I growl my pleasure. “Good,” I purr. “My good, sweet mate.”

I lower my hand from her mouth and grip a handful of her soft mane, instead. My forehead presses to hers as I add a second finger to her tight cunt, and she shifts her body against my hand, her breath coming in short, rapid pants. “You must be quiet,” I warn her. “Can you stay quiet?” She whimpers again, biting her lip as she gazes up at me. I stretch my fingers inside her, pairing them and then sliding them apart. She feels tight, but I know she can take more. I find her clit and brush my greased thumb over it, and she jolts on the rock, sucking in a breath.

“Quiet,” I murmur again. “Unless you want R’kh to see you come. Because if you keep squealing, they will come and see why you make so much noise. And do you know what he will see?” Her cunt clenches tight around my fingers, squeezing me in a vise. Her wide eyes are locked upon me, as if my words are the only thing that exist in her world. It is an incredible feeling, and it makes me hungry for more. “He will see me with my fingers buried in my mate’s pretty cunt,” I whisper. “He will watch while I pleasure her. And he will hear her sounds of delight, of how wet her cunt is as she squeezes my fingers. Of how much she likes her mate’s touch.” I rub her clit with my thumb in a quick sideways motion that makes her thighs tremble.

“Because you are my mate,” I tell her with a firm voice. “We have decided. I have decided. And if you think I am not going to do this to you every night in the furs, you had best think again, my pretty D’see.” Her lips part and her eyes flutter closed, her breath hitching. Her cunt squeezes tight around my fingers, and then wetness soaks my hand as I continue to work her clit. “Good,” I say, pleased at how quick and hard she came. “I think that will hold me until tonight.” I stretch her cunt with another twist of my fingers and then pull them free from her leggings. She makes another soft sound of protest.

It feels as if I’m staggering to the fruit cave on a pair of noodles. My knees are still weak from the incident with O’jek, and while he walks at my side, calm as ever, his hand on my back to guide me, I feel wrecked. That was…incredibly hot. I’ve always found O’jek attractive, but him taking charge like that? Grabbing my hair and telling me to be quiet while he drove into me with slick fingers? I don’t think I’ve ever come so hard. Dear sweet heavens, I had no idea he was holding all that inside.