Daisy's Decision (Icehome, #15)

by Ruby Dixon

O’jek is there immediately, kissing me again. I’m surprised at the hand that cups my face, tilting it up as he slants his mouth over mine. His movements are hungry, his lips greedy as he devours me, and I’m breathless and clinging to him all over again a short time later. “You make those little moans,” he murmurs, and nips at my mouth. “And it makes me think of being between your thighs.”

“Dad says when Mom starts craving fruit, it’s a sign she might get pregnant again. That’s why he’s cranky.” Oh. He was rather cranky to us earlier with all those comments about the healer. I fight back a wince. “Everyone gets moody about resonance,” I say cheerfully. “I’m sure it’ll pass soon.” “It’s not resonance. It’s that Mom has a hard time being pregnant.” He looks stressed, the poor kid. “Dad told me once she almost died when carrying me. It was easier for her with Daya, but what if it’s not easy with the next one?” My goodness. I move to Rukhar’s side and hug him tight.

I think about his fingers pushing into me and the way he grabbed my hair and held me still and commanded me to be silent. I never realized just how much I enjoyed him taking charge and commanding me to have pleasure. Gods, that was incredibly sexy.

I’m sorry if I seem greedy. I’m just excited that I can touch you.” He groans and sits up, pulling me against his chest. I lose my balance, falling forward on him, and he tumbles backward, me pressed to him. Our faces are mere inches apart, and O’jek leans forward and rubs his nose against mine. “I like you greedy. I like it very much. I just wanted to make sure it was something you wanted to do and not something you felt obligated to do.” “Not obligated,” I breathe, leaning forward and kissing him lightly.

O’jek makes a low sound and then his fingers push into the slick well of my core, making a wet sound that takes me by surprise as much as the sudden touch does. I squirm against his hand, distracted. “You are wet,” he murmurs. “All this because you like to suck my cock? You truly enjoy pleasuring me so much?”

O’jek watches my face as he presses two fingers inside me and I cry out, biting on my knuckle because it feels so good. He works his fingers inside me, his thumb grazing my clit, and when my legs jerk in response, he leans in, pressing my knees until they are practically at my shoulders. His cock brushes against my entrance and my entire body clenches with want.

It’s sharp and exquisite, and my body automatically clenches around him. I moan, grabbing at his shoulders as he continues to push deeper, his weight pressing me down onto the rock. It feels so good. It feels like too much. I love it all. It’s like I can feel every ridge of his cock sliding into me, rubbing against my walls as he slowly pushes in. I dig my nails into his shoulders, desperate for more, and then I feel something finger-like brush against my clit.

O’jek groans and pulls back, and the ridges move out of me at impossible speed, and it feels like a chain reaction of sensation. Then he drives back into me again, and I groan. The finger rubs against the side of my clit and I cry out, my hand going between our joined bodies. His spur. Of course it’s his spur.

“Don’t stop. Please don’t stop, O’jek.” “Say it again,” he commands me as he drives deep. “Say my name again.” “O’jek,” I choke out. “O’jek. Please. Feels so good.” He groans and drives into me harder.

He rolls off of me when he catches his breath and I whimper a protest, reaching for him. A moment later, his hand is back between my thighs and his mouth is on mine. He kisses me, hard and frantic, even as his fingers glide through the slippery mess of my body. “Mine,” he murmurs between kisses, and it feels as if he’s pushing the seeping release back inside me. “My mate.”

I can’t believe I wasted three years not touching him when I could have been doing this the entire time.

Everyone around me gets what they want and I get nothing.

I brush aside one leaf, and I see writing scratched onto the rock wall behind it. Fascinated, I peer at the lettering. It looks a bit like Homeworld, but an archaic version. Is this old Sakh? If I turn that letter and add a swirl here, it could spell “MAINTENANCE.” Or it might spell something else entirely. It’s been a few years since I’ve had to practice my Homeworld script. I lift a few more leaves and there’s an arrow pointing toward the waterfall. Interesting.

“D’see! Come toward the light so I can see you, my heart. Please.” There’s a frantic note in O’jek’s voice.

“Do not cry, my heart,” he tells me as he works on the rope. “I am making a ladder and then I will be at your side shortly. Be patient. Be brave.” “Just don’t leave me!” “Never. I will never leave your side,” he promises.

When the rope starts to snake down from above with loops tied throughout for handholds, I start crying again. And when O’jek reaches the bottom and cups my face, pressing frantic kisses to it, I cry even harder. “My mate, my mate,” he breathes over and over again. “I could not find you. I did not know where you had gone. My heart felt as if it had stopped in my chest.”

“Your arm joint has left the socket,” he tells me. “I do not know the human words for it.” He maneuvers his arm, showing me. “We have to push it back in.” He pauses and then adds, “It will hurt.” “I figured.” I close my eyes and nod at him. “Go ahead.” Before I can even brace myself, he grabs my arm and thrusts it back, hard. Hot pain sheets through me and then almost immediately disappears. I don’t know if I should black out or sob in relief. Probably both. Then he’s kissing me again and telling me how brave I am, and I just lean against him,

O’jek immediately picks me up and carries me into the water. From there, he gently washes my face and the wound on my head, peering at my eyes. “This is a deep cut and still bleeds,” he tells me. “You must have hit rock on the way down. I will need to sew it.” Stupidly, I think of my appearance. I touch the cut—just at my hairline—and try not to cry. “Is it going to be ugly?” “Never.” O’jek scowls as if the thought offends him. “I’m just…I’m already…” I gesture weakly at my burned cheek and hands. “You are perfect,” he tells me, tipping my chin with a finger so I look at him. “Just looking at you makes my heart gladden, my mate. Do not ever think you are not the most beautiful female on this world. The most beautiful thing I have ever seen.” Oh. I blink at him. Where is this romantic side coming from? I feel like I know O’jek, but sometimes he truly astonishes me.

I am not fine. It takes every bit of my self-control not to clench her tight against me. Not to grip her tightly in my arms and shake her for terrifying me. The last two days, in which I did not know if she was alive or dead, have burned themselves into my spirit and left a scar worse than anything on D’see’s cheek. I cannot stop thinking about how she could have died down in that tunnel below the waterfall and I would have never heard her. D’see’s voice is hoarse from screaming, but I do not know if she was simply drowned out or if she screamed while I was gone outside, frantically looking for her. What if I had gone on to the Icehome Beach? She would have died in that tunnel.

Flor rubs my back, letting me weep against her, and makes soothing noises in her throat to comfort me. “Something is weird about that. I don’t understand why he would dump you. Everyone knows he’s in love with you and has been since you arrived. It was like the moment you showed up, every other woman on this beach didn’t exist.”

“You’re going to go talk to O’jek?” “What?” She makes a dismissive noise in her throat. “Not likely. Boy stormed out of this camp at dawn looking like he wanted to murder something.

He’s probably got some massively blue balls at the moment, too.” I’rec frowns over at Flor, arms crossed. “Why would his balls change color? Of course they are blue.” “And filled to exploding, no doubt,” Flor teases, making a crude gesture between her legs. When I’rec’s expression gets even sterner, she rolls her eyes at him. “Oh, come on. If they’ve been having sex he’s going to be horny and moody. It’s like an itch. Once you scratch it, you have to keep scratching it. Trust me, I know.” She sighs dramatically, leaning back and crossing her legs. “Ain’t had my itches scratched in years and I’m feeling it.” “Why are we discussing his balls?” I’rec snaps. “Because I’m horny and jealous,” Flor says with a sigh, looking over at me.

“His mother never forgot that her first kit was taken from her. She kept O’jek at arm’s length because she did not wish to have her heart broken again. No doubt he is doing the same. He worries that giving you his heart will break him, so he has decided to push you away instead.” “Oh,” I say softly. My poor O’jek.

“Oh man,” Flor says with a sigh. “There’s an inappropriate joke about wood here that I’m dying to say but I won’t.”

I’rec eyes Flor. “Do not speak for me, female.” “Do not call me female, penis,” she retorts. I’rec snorts with amusement. He leans back in the hut, his tail flicking in a teasing sort of way, and the smirk he gives Flor says this is a conversation they’ve had before.

Sam replies, stirring the tea over the fire. She scoops herself another cup, inhales it deeply, and then moves to go sit with Sessah, choosing to sit on his leg instead of next to him. He wraps a big arm around her waist and rests his chin on her shoulder, and my heart melts at how sweet they look.

“Well,” I say brightly. “I hear Bek is training the kits today, yes?” “Oh, that’s right,” says Liz, walking up to the group with her toddler in tow. She yawns, heading for a seat near the fire. “The girls are going with him so no need for you to help out, Daisy. But thank you.” Does she think I’m volunteering to watch them? “Where are they meeting?” I ask, keeping a perky smile on my face. “I should like to join.” Everyone stops and stares at me. Liz blinks. Twice.

“Daisy!” Aayla screeches, getting to her feet and racing toward me in a spray of sand. She’s at the age where everything is loud and dramatic. She flings her arms around my waist as if she hasn’t seen me in forever and then beams up at me.

At the end of the day, I am exhausted. We return to camp without a bit of food and the day feels like a waste. I am positive I cannot pick out a single track in the snow. But Bek gives me a pat on the back and tells me I did a good job, and it’s enough to keep me going. The next morning, I return bright and early, this time with a spear. My boots are double-knotted, and I help Katamneas with his. And this time when we head into the valley, I am ready.

“Not good at courting a female, either,” he adds in slyly. “Better than you. A rock is better than you.”

“Will you stop talking?” I press a hand to my brow. “I am tired, and we have far to go, and we will not make it down the mountain if you keep speaking, because I am going to throw you off of it.”

“All I am saying is that you cannot chase after the most fragile female in the tribe and then get mad at her because she is fragile. Even I am not that rock-headed.” I hate his words. And I hate that they are right.

I come, hot streaks of my release painting across her soft skin. She gasps, her fingers running through the lines of cum as I drip them onto her belly. It is a filthy, filthy sight, and I love it. I love the mess I have made on her skin, I love her delight in it, I love how forbidden it feels.

For a “mistake,” it’s something we do repeatedly over the next few weeks.

Of all the kits here, both Nadine’s Deeni and Angie’s Violet look the most human. Violet looks just like her mother except for the pointed ears and high cheekbones,

“Do not be ashamed.” I’rec puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes it. “As far as we are concerned, you are Shadow Cat clan, even if O’jek is being a stubborn kaari. We are your family. You are ours now.” My lower lip threatens to wobble. That’s…surprisingly sweet for I’rec. “Thank you.”

“I was so certain I would resonate and find my mate here upon this beach, and yet with every turn of the seasons, with still nothing for me, I grow weary of my empty furs. F’lor offered to ease my loneliness, you know.” I do know. Everyone in the tribe knows. F’lor has made it quite clear that she approached R’jaal. “You refused her.” He grunts, a small smile playing at his mouth. “I did. In my arrogance I thought my mate was surely just a day or two away. That any moment now, my khui would grow tired of waiting and then it would happen for me and I would be lonely no longer. Instead, more and more time passes and I regret that I pushed her away.” He sighs. “If I could choose a mate to resonate to, it would be her. She is happy, that one. She is full of life and does not dwell on sad things. She lives to make others smile. She is beautiful, and yet I pushed her away and now she wishes nothing to do with me.”

R’jaal looks over at me. “I was a fool and pushed away the female I wanted because her chest was silent. It is a foolish thing to wait on, resonance. I have waited and waited, and for what? For the knowledge that when I claim a mate, it will be my forever mate? What if it does not happen until I am gray with age like V’za? What if it never happens? These thoughts do not keep my furs warm or fill my heart with joy.” He shakes his head.

I am…afraid. The realization is a sobering one. “I am afraid of losing D’see,” I admit. “I do not like being vulnerable, and when I am with her, I feel as if my chest is laid open and she could pluck my heart out at her whim.”

R’jaal. He wears his loneliness like a cloak, his eyes full of sadness.

“All those with a family live with a fear that they will come to harm.

“And the happy times are worth everything.”

There’s a pool of it under his head, staining the sands. My heart stops in my chest at the sight, and I carefully search my fingers through his hair. There’s a massive cut on the back of his skull, shallow but long, and I remember the violent thump against the raft that nearly tipped me over. One of the tentacle creatures must have pulled him into the water and when he was swimming up, he rammed into the raft and knocked himself out. I lean down and kiss his cold cheek, then smooth wet tendrils off his face. “It’s okay, love. Daisy’s here. I’ll take care of you.”

A low, steady thrum that is growing louder by the moment. Immediately, I think it is coming from her. Resonance, I realize. She is resonating. And I am the only one here. It takes another moment for me to realize I am the one resonating. D’see sits up, her eyes wide and startled, and she puts her hand on the center of my chest. “You…you’re…” Then she pauses, a strange expression on her face. Her hand goes between her teats. “Oh, I think I am, too.”

Her eyes flutter shut and she grips my arms, holding me tight as she slowly sinks down upon me. “Oh,” she breathes. “Oh, O’jek. Feels so good.” Another groan tears from me, because it does feel incredible. She is not yet taking all of me, though. Her cunt is tight and though she is slick, I am much larger than her delicate body can easily take.

“Oh god, that feels good.” Her voice is a mere whisper and her eyes flutter again. “Resonance makes everything so intense. I…I can’t even think straight.” “Do not think. Just feel.”

I stroke my fingers over her cheek. “I love you, too, my mate.” They are not words I am familiar with, these “love” words, but I know D’see needs to hear them. They do not feel sufficient for how deeply I care for her, how ingrained she is now in my spirit, how I would destroy anything and everything in this world to make her smile. But if the “love” word is one she likes, I will tell it to her constantly, because she is mine and I am hers, and it is my duty as her mate to show her how happy she makes me.

It feels good to know that every touch, every time his tail taps my leg, he’s making sure that his mate is all right.

Kata one of his carved dragon toys—no doubt Aehako’s handiwork.

“F’lor and I’rec?” “A couple of hours ago,” Veronica agrees, switching her child to her other breast. “And let me tell you, there was a lot of awkwardness between those two once they realized what was happening.”