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“Is this how it’s going to be now? You two living in my home, rent free, and tormenting me?”
Jeremy zipped to his side. “The apocalypse is upon us, it seems,”
“Don’t hurt each other,” Collin repeated, taking a step toward them, Jeremy in tow. “You two … you are my two favorite people. And I, uh, I don’t want to see either of you hurt. And I can’t lose one of you either.”
“Better get to it,” Jude said after a moment, pressing his forehead against Indira’s and smiling. “Probably,” she said, patting his cheek. “Good luck out there. Go as fast as you can, I’ll miss you.”
Well, Jude was moving her in. Indira was spending most of her time facedown on the ground, trying to cajole a disgruntled Grammy out from her hiding spot under the bed. But what was the point of having a boyfriend if not for manual labor?
Indira, mature, calm woman that she was, threw her head back and started squealing at the top of her lungs as she kicked her hands and feet. Holy fuck was she gone for this guy. He was back in a blink, arms overflowing with various takeout bags. He set them gently at his feet. “Oh shit.” Indira scrambled across the floor to meet him. “Did you buy out an entire restaurant?” “Try five,” Jude said with a laugh, sitting cross-legged with her.
“So, it’s kind of silly,” Jude said, pink touching his cheeks as he bounced his leg. “But, uh, here you go.” He cleared his throat, handed her the carefully wrapped rectangle, then stared down at his lap. Indira punched him on the shoulder. “You already got me literally all of my favorite food and moved me into my new apartment. Give a girl’s heart a moment to recover.”
“I think you should start having higher expectations from me,” he said with a rough laugh. “Because you deserve the world.”
“This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten,” she said, placing happy, sloppy kisses anywhere and everywhere her lips could reach. “Dammit, it’s so us. It’s so perfect.”
“I love it, you wonderfully clueless man,” she said, pulling back just enough to look at him. Incandescent happiness radiated out of her, warming everything. He’d been writing love on every inch of her heart since they were kids, and he’d found the most beautiful, messy, ridiculous reminder of that and put it in a frame.
“You’re the absolute worst.” “I know,” Jude said, pressing his smile into the back of her hand before releasing it and opening his door.
They still hadn’t had a conversation about what they were. But Jude knew he was Indira’s. And that was all that really mattered.
“Dira, I want to tell the world I’m with you. It’s the way I want to introduce myself to everyone I meet.”
He’d never realized just how many mementos he’d kept of this woman. Granted, quite a few were thinly veiled death threats from a disgruntled tween, but they’d moved him enough to keep them some twenty-odd years nonetheless.
“Isn’t this lovely,” Jude said, handing her a torn piece of notebook paper. “Who knew you were such a poet?” A Haiku about Jude Bailey By: Indira Papadakis Jude. Rude. Fucking screwed Socially, he sucks asshole Personally, gross
“I can’t believe I didn’t major in literature,” she said, fixing him with a forlorn frown. “So much talent, wasted.”
“You’re annoyingly adorable and simultaneously intolerable,”
“Oh, how lovely,” she said, beaming. “Don, you owe me ten dollars.” Jude’s head whipped between his parents. “What?” Don looked up at the ceiling, a defeated sigh leaving his lips before he reached for his wallet in his back pocket and pulled out a bill, passing it across the table to his wife. “She bet me, probably fifteen years ago, that you two would end up together,” Don said,
And the truth was, he didn’t want to be left alone. Not by Indira. Because, around her, he felt better. Could breathe a little easier.
It seemed impossible to feel as much as he did for Indira—just breathing around her made his chest ache and his throat burn.
“Jude, I love you.” She said it simply, as though hearing those words didn’t completely rearrange every molecule in Jude’s body. “I’ve always loved you. Even when I didn’t like you, I loved you. You’ve been a permanent fixture in my life, someone steady to rely on, even when that reliance came with annoying each other or teasing. Because you let me tease you back. You’ve always been my person, Jude. My annoying, wonderful person. And I think I’m your person too.”
“I’m really fucking broken,” he admitted, the words ripped from his chest. “I’m not looking to fix you,” she said, staring straight into his eyes. “I’m here to love you.”
“Take as much time as you need,” Indira said. “I’m not going anywhere.” “Promise?” “Promise.”
“Laughing in this moment? No,” Indira said with firm finality. “Your general priggish attitude? Jury’s still out.”
“Thank you for…” He paused, searching for the right words. None would be good enough. “Thank you for being you,”
“And … I love you.” “I know that too.”
The bar for fatherhood was on the ground, and Greg always showed up with a shovel.
“Fathers make an effort. Fathers care about their kids. Their feelings. Fathers do everything they can to make it to graduations, remember birthdays, even just fucking check in with how their kids are doing. You are a mouthpiece for empty promises and I’m done listening.”
“Oh, Alex! This is our song,” Thu said, patting her boyfriend’s knee as the DJ played a new track. “Let’s dance.” “Thu, this is ‘Disturbia’ by Rihanna,” Harper said, scrunching up her nose. “Cute, right?” Thu said,
Angela sat down, grabbing her daughter’s hand. “Yes, you. The girl who was just snuggled awfully close to Jude Bailey. The same Jude Bailey you once tried to push in front of my car when I was leaving to go to the grocery store.”
You look at him like he’s the most special person in the world, and he looks back at you with the exact same expression.
“She was wondering if I’d been the victim of any curses or recruited into any cults recently. Pretty standard reaction, I’d say.”
“Silly man,” she said, pressing her forehead to his. “I’m yours whether you’re here or somewhere across the globe. That was never my question.”
“I’m here to support you. To love you. Every step of the way. Let me help you. Let’s figure a way out of this.”
Happiness was soft. Uneventful. It was holding Indira’s hand. Sitting next to her on the couch and listening to her talk. It was a quiet cup of coffee with her next to him reading a magazine. It was teasing her, being goofy and pretending to pass out after sniffing her feet, making her shriek in outrage and giggle. Happiness was them.
He could do this. He could say the words. Admit the truth. “I need help.”
Collin beamed at him, a few tears rolling down his cheeks as love and tenderness radiated between them. “Oh fuck, I’m not supposed to cry on my honeymoon,” Collin said at last, breaking the tension as he waved a hand in front of his face. Jude laughed. “No, you’re not. So you better get back to Jeremy and all that sunshine and perfect beaches. What a trial for you.” “Truly,” Collin said, clearing his throat. They were quiet for another moment. “Love you,” Collin said, smiling at Jude. Jude smiled back. “Love you back.”
“But none of the metaphors I’m coming up with make much sense.” “Shocker,” Jude whispered, plucking at one of her curls as he teased her.
“I’ll leave it at: no matter what happens tomorrow, we’ll figure out what comes after.” Jude nodded, dragging his palm to her lower back and pulling her closer. “And,” Indira added, threading her fingers in his hair, “I’m really fucking proud of you.”
“I love you so much,” he said, kissing her. She was his safe soul. His happy place. His tether. “Love ya back, Jude the dude with the attitude.” “Thank you,” he said after a few moments.
“For what?” Jude brushed her curls off her cheeks, tucking them behind her ear, then dragging the backs of his fingers across her skin. “For everything.”
He unfolded the piece of paper with shaking fingers, eyes tracing over the familiar shape of her handwriting, every swoop and curve of a letter like a map to his heart. You’re so brave
“We honor the human body. Respect it. But we take the mind for granted. We ignore the invisible illnesses that plague countless people every single day.” Jude’s voice gained volume. Determination.
“I am not healed,” he said, eyes steady, dark pools Indira could drown in. “I am not fixed. I can’t promise you I ever will be. But I do promise to work on it. Every day. Every single day. And I think it started with wanting to be with you, but it changed. Morphed.” Jude sucked in another gasping breath. “I like feeling happy,” he said, a smile breaking across his stern mouth. “And I want that for myself. For us. And I’m going to do whatever I can to make that happen.” “You’re allowed to be broken,” she said, taking his hands and kissing his knuckles. “And you’re allowed to be repaired. I love
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“There’s nothing you can’t do,” Jude said, kissing her again. “I’m all in if you are.”
“What’s the surprise for?” Indira asked, effervescent happiness fizzing in her chest as he led her inside. “To surprise you.” Indira whacked him on the shoulder, making him laugh. “What’s the bane of your existence?” Jude asked, stopping outside their office door. “My desk chair,” she answered without hesitation.
“You’re a close second,” she added, giving him a wink.
“Lovely,” he said. “Really makes me excited to present you with a gift.” “Oh my God, the suspense is killing me,” Indira said, bouncing on her toes a bit. Without further ado, Jude reached for the door handle, revealing their office. And a giant, brand-new office chair sitting in the center.
FROM: Bailey, Jude <jude.bailey@gmail.com> TO: Papadakis, Indira <indpapadakis@gmail.com> DATE: September 30, 1:18 p.m. SUBJECT: I love you.
FROM: Papadakis, Indira <indpapadakis@gmail.com> TO: Bailey, Jude <jude.bailey@gmail.com> DATE: September 30, 1:19 p.m. SUBJECT: RE: I love you too ♥
